Please note that this is the last time you'll ever read the above phrase on TV Squad. At least I hope so.
Are you aware that there's a battle going on over iPhone apps? There are two companies fighting over who gets the right to have an application that reproduces sounds made via a certain bodily function. You can pretty much guess what it is. Wyatt Cenac at The Daily Show talked to the two CEOs on Tuesday's show. It always amazes me that people will agree to do these interviews and then say something so inane, like this guy's comment about Jackie Robinson. (Video also here.)
There's a battle right now over President Obama's plans for healthcare, but the battle isn't going to be as funny as this one between Daily Show correspondents Samantha Bee, John Oliver, and Wyatt Cenac (well, it might be as funny, but in a sad, shake-your-head sort of way). I never want to see back-testicles ever again. (Video also here.)
When the folks at The Daily Show announced that they were going to do a live broadcast from Washington on Inauguration Day, I'm sure a lot of people envisioned Jon Stewart behind a desk in some D.C.-area college auditorium, with up-to-the-minute field reports and maybe even a brief appearance from President Obama ... or at least someone near and dear to him.
What we got was Stewart sitting behind his New York desk, and ... pretty much a normal episode of TDS. In fact, nothing about it indicated to me that they needed to make it live. The only parts that came from the nation's capital, in fact, were a shot of reporter Wyatt Cenac at the Youth Inaugural Ball and a satellite interview with Bishop Gene Robinson, who did the invocation at the Lincoln Memorial concert on Monday.
It's fantastic to see Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert team up on something other than an award show (not that I'm complaining about super-adorable Stewart/Colbert/Carell hugs, which warm my otherwise bitterly cold heart). It will be interesting to see how the boys react to the live results, but I'm most interested in seeing how Stephen Colbert stays in character. Check back later for videos Click on the jump for the full episode!
10:05: Man, those intros were hardcore. And how long is that bird going to stay on Stephen's shoulder? I'm waiting for a startled poo. I'm still not used to seeing Jon and Stephen together. It's too much awesome.
10:12: Hi, Jason Jones! Nice to see -- Whoa, what just happened? Something flashed on the screen, but I didn't catch it. Suddenly compelled to join the military, though.
Before we jump right into things, let's take a moment to think about just how amazing these past two weeks of Daily Show have been. The program has always been pretty solid, but both the Democratic National Convention and the Republican National Convention have provided beautiful fodder for both Jon and the correspondents, who seem to have finally hit their stride. This particular group of correspondents works best when they're all teamed up, and it really showed during convention coverage. From Jason Jones and Samantha Bee sucking face in front of hapless interviewees to Rob Riggle and Wyatt Cenac grillin' up some arugula in an elitist parking lot. TDS is taking another break next week and, boy, do they deserve it.
The Daily Show team must be exhausted. Last week was Tuesday through Friday on-location coverage of the Democratic National Convention in Colorado, and this week is the same from the Republican National Convention in Minnesota. I can't even imagine how new mommy-again Samantha Bee has been handling this, returning at the busiest time in months.
"The Heart of Hopeness": Barack Obama delivered his acceptance speech the other night, to a stadium full of insanely excited Democrats. John Oliver filed a report live from the site of Obama's speech. Man, John has really been putting himself on the line this week, being incredibly annoying in front of so many overexcited people. I mean, chanting "Osama!" at a massive crowd of Obama lovers is almost a sure to bring about a beating, but he totally lucked out with some relatively mild verbal confrontation. Other great moments included dancing to Jeremiah Wright's "white friends" song and making his move on hot strangers. As we would see later in the episode, it seems like the Democratic National Convention brought out the friskiness in the correspondents.
"Guess Who's Coming to Denver?": Man, I wish it were the Democratic National Convention all day, every day because it seems like it's providing endless, wondrous material for the show. Not only did they make me spend a good three minutes just laughing at Jon's crazy eyes while reacting to Governor Mark Warner's terrible speech (watch his eyes almost fall off his face when Jon says, "His speech suuucks"), but they've once again reminded me that Dennis Kucinich can do absolutely no jumping around without looking like an over-excited leprechaun. And he has a super-hot wife to make him feel better about any stupid, mean thing that I may say, so it's okay.
Speaking of spouses, that uncomfortably long footage of Bill Clinton looking slack-jawed and slightly baffled also sent me into a spin of uncontrollable laughter. Mouth-breathers are never not funny. In other, more eloquent words: This episode brought the lulz.
"Guess Who's Coming to Denver?": The Daily Show is back! They'll be in Denver for the whole Democratic National Convention, workin' their shiny new set. It's pretty much just Jon's "j" desk and a whole lot of big screens hanging in the back. The gang was in full form, and I believe this was the most I've laughed at the show in a while. Perhaps it only feels that way because the show has been gone for a week and a Monday. Thank goodness they returned, because I was starting to get the shakes.
"Dick Move of the Week": John McCain has been making more news with one of his new attack ads against Barack Obama, in which he calls Obama out for being an attention-seeking celebrity, just like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. That's not the bad part though. That honor goes to the fact that Paris' parents support McCain and have sent thousands of dollars for his campaign. Smooth move, my man. Smooth move.
Quick news: Alaska's Senator Ted Stevens has been indicted for corruption charges. I knew The Daily Show would use any opportunity to bring out that clip of Stevens screaming, "NO!" I've missed that anger in my life.
Barack Obama recently returned form his trip the Middle East. In the meantime, John McCain has been struggling in the States, dealing with the likes of Schmidt's Sausage Haus and the Dalai Lama. I thought we were done talking about straight guy awkwardness the previous night. McCain looked terribly uncomfortable while the Dalai Lama held his hand. Just look at his other hand, fiddling with his suit pocket. He was probably all sweaty palms and clenched teeth that afternoon.
"Obama Quest: The Legend Begins": I guess the political comedy world has decided that the go-to digs on Barack Obama will be about the pressures of his golden boy image. Unfortunately, I can't say my middle school days were spent quite the same way, dealing with people making fun of how awesome I am. There are definitely worse ways to be mocked, is what I'm saying. Anyway, Mr. Obama has made his way to the Middle East for the first time, providing the Daily Show graphics department with the opportunity to make the most freakin' epic clip to accompany the report. Awesome. This trip also gave the media a chance to eagerly await a major cross-cultural faux pas. As it turns out, Obama has fangirls and fanboys all over the world.
America's terrorist watch list just hit the 1,000,000 mark. Yay! Sort of. Not really. Jon pointed out that Nelson Mandela was only recently removed from the watch list. He said it in a way like Mandela had no business being on the watch list on the first place, which I thought was a bit unfair. Sure, striking Mandela from the list was a move that probably should have happened over twenty years ago and his motivation was anti-apartheid, but once a guy has been the leader of a sabotage against his own government and military, that kind of makes the big boys of other countries nervous about having him around too. I'm just saying.
"Indecision 2008": The Daily Show hasn't really mocked Barack Obama quite as heavily as the likes of John McCain or Hillary Clinton. In fact, they have made fun of the media's wild, paranoid speculation about Obama more than Obama himself. It was good to see them pick on him a bit for his rather presumptuous faux-Presidential seal, which was quickly pulled and called a "one-time" thing. I loved how most of the audience was too nervous to mock their man. "You know... You're allowed to laugh at him." Also, Barack Obama seems to have made a bit of a flip-flop recently, turning his back on public finance and calling it corrupt, despite showing his support earlier in the race. I hope he flip-flops more if it means seeing John Oliver as Matthew Lesko again.
"White Stuff on Mars": New discoveries on Mars make room for coke jokes and groantastic puns.
There Will Be Flood"/"Wet Hot American Bummer" (HA!): Much of the Midwest is currently underwater, due to storms, failing levies and acts of not-God. Reporters are already looking for the most dramatic ways to demonstrate the severity of the situation, and President Bush is obviously dreading a visit to the disaster area. Correspondents Jason Jones and Wyatt Cenac reported from a flooded scene, just to dig up some of that dated "George Bush doesn't care about black people" stuff. I guess they had to do it now, as mentioning it in the next night's episode may have been a little weird, what with Mike Meyers being the guest and all. I'm waiting for Wyatt to do his own correspondent field report before I decide how I feel about him. I'm kind of liking his perpetual angry-face, though. And did the audience know for what they were applauding? It sounded like more blind, trained seal clapping.