TVSquad

Ever met a lonely television blogger? Of course not, that's because studies have now proven that watching television and writing long essays about it makes you feel less lonely. Sure, I'm sitting here all alone in my house with the latest episode of Legend of the Seeker paused on my television, but I feel like you're all here with me ... wait a minute, I better put some decent clothes on. Sorry about that. Apparently, the bonds I feel with Richard and Kahlan help ease my need to connect with real people.

So now I don't have to go out in the real world and make real friends, or ever hang out with them. I have thousands of friends on hundreds of channels! So fat, lazy Americans spending more and more time sitting around at home watching television is good for us. Sure the research says that it's no substitute for real interaction, but it's close enough. We need to get ourselves nice and complacent for when the machines rise up. And it'll be much easier if they know where to find us; sitting at home alone with our Friends.

Yup, it looks like Americans are watching more TV than ever. Which must really tick off the makers of My Own Worst Enemy, The Ex-List, and Dirty Sexy Money.

How much is more than ever? The average American - Joe TV, if you will - watches 142 hours a television a month, according to a new study from Nielsen Media. That's four or five hours a day for each of us (and if that number is accurate, then I watch about 320 hours of TV a month). As for watching shows at another time, whether via DVRs or online, that's up 50% from last year. We Americans love our TV, though as The L.A. Times says maybe more people were watching this year because of the election and The Olympics.

Another month, another study on how TV is bad for us.

The latest comes from The University of Maryland, where sociologists looking over 30 years worth of data have concluded that people who watch a lot of television are unhappy. People who say that they are very happy read more and socialize more.

Oh, this is bogus on so many levels.

If I were to sit down and think about it, I would guess that I've watched five or six hours of television every single day since 1970.

Now, that might seem like an outlandish number to many people. After all, didn't I go to school and later work? Yes I did. But I can honestly say that when I got home from school I watched TV until 11 at night, every single night, and a lot more during the summer (and I even found time to go outside to play baseball!). Today I have the TV on from approximately 8 AM until well after midnight. That's a lot of TV watching over the years.

I thought of that when I read this article that says Americans are watching more television than ever.

That's the finding of a researcher in Japan. He also discovered that surfing the web late at night can have an effect on your sleep habits. BREAKING NEWS!

OK, I'm being a little sarcastic here, but it seems like such an obvious conclusion that I'm sure you and I thought this was true even before any study was released.

I love science. It allows you to say commonsensical things, but with proof. The latest non-revelation to be offered by researchers is that switching off the television does not guarantee that children will exercise. A four-year study of more than 10,000 American children ages 10 to 15 found no correlation between the amount of time spent watching television and the amount of time spent engaged in vigorous activity.

According to the study, long hours spent watching television has contributed to the obesity epidemic among children, but killing your television won't reverse the trend. Watching TV and physical exercise are not "functional opposites." If they were, everyone would be on a "no television" diet.

In the past several days, I've given up on two new TV shows: American Inventor and The Loop. I gave up on American Inventor because most of the inventions shouldn't even had made it that far, and the whole thing is way too touchy-feely. I gave up on The Loop because, well, it's not funny.

But I find this "giving up on TV shows" to be quite liberating. When you watch television for a living, it's hard to keep track of everything that's on. And when you're head is filled up with too many shows and characters and plots, it's a relief when you finally decide, you know what? I'm not going to watch this show anymore. It frees up space in your head and gives you time to watch something else.

This can be a bad thing too, I guess. I never got into 24 because I was already watching another spy drama, Alias, and I'm probably missing out there. I never watch E-Ring because I'm a fan of The West Wing, and one military/political/D.C. drama is enough for me right now. I never got into The Amazing Race, because I already watch Survivor and American Idol and Airline and Little People, Big World, and one more reality show will drive me made (granted, TAR is more a game show, but you know what I mean).

I wish I could stop watching ER, because the show's been kinda boring lately. But I've put 10 years into it, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to see how it ends.