TVSquad

FOX announced its plans for the 2008-2009 season today. Here are the highlights:

Returning: The Moment of Truth, So You Think You Can Dance, The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, American Idol, America's Most Wanted, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, Bones, Cops, Don't Forget the Lyrics!, Hell's Kitchen, House, King of the Hill, Kitchen Nightmares, MADtv, The Moment of Truth, Prison Break, Talkshow with Spike Feresten, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, 'Til Death

Out: Back To You, Canterbury's Law, K-Ville, Nashville, New Amsterdam, Next Great American Band, Return of Jezebel James, Unhitched

New: Sit Down, Shut Up; The Cleveland Show; Dollhouse (Midseason); Fringe; Do Not Disturb (formerly The Inn); Secret Millionaire (Midseason)

Schedule and detailed descriptions of the new shows after the jump.

(S03E18) " I got shoulder-humped by a doberman...to completion." - Tiffany Henson

I was wondering when the hospital would get around to giving Earl the boot. It only makes sense that Camden County's health care facilities are run just like everything else in the area. I love the idea of Camden Cash. I think I'll pitch the idea to some of our overcrowded hospitals here in Los Angeles.

Remember a few weeks ago, when I said how much I envied Jason Lee? Well, after seeing him wedged in that shopping cart and bounced around in that wheelchair, I am forced to rescind that statement. It's good to see Mr. Lee is still willing to work for a living.

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes, then new episodes of Big Brother and Cold Case, then an episode of Dexter.
• NBC has the fifth anniversary Countdown with Keith Olbermann special at 7, followed by a new Dateline.
• At 8, FOX has a new Simpsons, then a new King of the Hill.
• ABC has a new Extreme Makeover at 8, followed by new episodes of Oprah's Big Give and Here Come The Newlyweds.
• There's a new Everybody Hates Chris on The CW at 8.
• Also at 8: Cartoon Network has a new My Gym Partner's A Monkey.
• At 9, PBS has a new Masterpiece.
• HBO has another installment of John Adams at 9.
• The CW has a new episode of The Game at 9.
• Showtime has the season premiere of The Tudors, also at 9.
• At 9:30, FOX has the season (series?) finale of Unhitched.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Throwdown with Bobby Flay.
• FX has a new Dirt at 10.
• At 11:30, Cartoon Network has the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Welcome to Subtle Subtitles. For those of you who are uninitiated to the purpose of this feature, we're asking you to come up with your funniest quote or description for what's going on in the screen grab we choose for the week. Winners are announced in the following Friday's contest.

Last contest's winner: BigTed

This week, a scene from the latest episode of South Park ...

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes, then a new Big Brother.
• NBC has a new Dateline at 7.
• At 8, ABC has a new Extreme Makeover, then new episodes of Oprah's Big Give and Here Come The Newlyweds.
• The CW has a new Everybody Hates Chris at 8, followed by new episodes of Aliens in America and The Game.
• The first part of the Futurama movie 'Bender's Big Score' airs on Comedy Central at 8.
• Food Network has a new Ultimate Recipe Showdown at 8, then a new Iron Chef America.
• At 8:30, FOX has a new Unhitched (another new episode airs at 9:30).
• At 9, PBS has a new Masterpiece.
• There's a new Rock Of Love with Bret Michaels on VH-1 at 9.
• HBO has a new John Adams at 9.
• Also at 9: Showtime has a new L Word.
• At 10, FX has a new episode of Dirt.
• At 11:45, Cartoon Network has a new Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then new episodes of Squidbillies and Frisky Dingo.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Welcome to Subtle Subtitles. For those of you who are uninitiated to the purpose of this feature, we're asking you to come up with your funniest quote or description for what's going on in the screen grab we choose for the week. Winners are announced in the following Friday's contest.

Last contest's winner: Bus

This week, a scene from the latest episode of Unhitched ...

• TV Land continues its Andy Griffith Show marathon all night.
• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes, then a new Big Brother.
• ABC has a new America's Funniest Home Videos at 7, followed by new episodes of Extreme Makeover, Oprah's Big Give, and Here Come The Newlyweds.
• NBC has a new, two hour Dateline at 7.
• At 8, The CW has a new Everybody Hates Chris, then a new Aliens in America.
• TCM has All About Eve at 8.
• Also at 8: HBO has the premiere of John Adams.
• At 8:30, FOX has a new King of the Hill.
• At 9, HGTV announces the winner of the Dream House Giveaway 2008.
• Showtime has a new L Word at 9.
• At 9:30, FOX has a new Unhitched.
• At 10, FX has a new Dirt.
• CBS has an episode of Dexter at 10.
• At 12:30am, Cartoon Network has a new Frisky Dingo.

Check your local TV listings for more.

• At 7, CBS has a new 60 Minutes, then a new Big Brother.
• ABC has a new America's Funniest Home Videos at 7, then a new Extreme Makeover, the series premiere of Oprah's Big Give, and a new Here Come The Newlyweds.
• NBC has a new, two hour Dateline at 7, followed by a new Deal Or No Deal.
• At 8, FOX has a new Simpsons, then new episodes of King of the Hill and Family Guy, and then the series premiere of Unhitched.
• The CW has a new Everybody Hates Chris at 8, followed by a new Aliens in America.
• There's a new Challenge on Food Network at 8, then new episodes of Ultimate Recipe Showdown and Iron Chef America.
• At 9, Lifetime has the new movie The Perfect Assistant.
• HBO has a new episode of The Wire at 9, then a new Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam.
• Showtime has a new L Word at 9.
• Sundance has a new Shameless at 9.
• At 10, CBS has an episode of Dexter.
• AMC has a new Breaking Bad at 10.
• Also at 10: FX has the season premiere of Dirt.
• At 11:45, Cartoon Network has a new Aqua Teen Hunger Force, followed by new episodes of Squidbillies and Frisky Dingo.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Have you ever read TV Squad and said to yourself, "Hey, I wish there was a speedy, five minute podcast about this site hosted by someone with a mildly annoying South Jersey accent?" If you have, there are two things you should know: 1) your prayers have been answered and 2) you're a dangerously deranged person. Seriously, you should talk to someone before your problems get out of hand.

But before you do that, you should go ahead and download our brand new weekly podcast, TV5. Every Friday I'll be bringing you a five minute rundown of five of our most interesting stories. Why five? Because we here at TV Squad like prime numbers and TV34301 seemed like overkill. Enjoy!

(Music provided courtesy of Kevin MacLeod.)

When it comes to new comedies, the FOX network's record hasn't been very glowing as of late. Yes, the Sunday night animated comedies still bring in the audience, and Arrested Development brought critical acclaim, and Back to You and Til' Death are decent, if not outstanding, sitcoms. But, what else has the network brought to the table recently? Anyone remember The Loop, Happy Hour, Freeride, Kitchen Confidential or Stacked? Of course not; hence, the sad track record FOX has had bringing funny to its network.

Fox really only has a handful of new pilots to premiere next season because it's holding on to mega ratings-getters like American Idol, House, Prison Break, and 24... to name a few. It's replacing last season's stinkers such as Standoff and Justice.

At its upfronts presentation last month, the net announced two new reality shows, three new comedies and five new dramas. Of those, we have seen all the comedies and dramas except a drama called Nashville, which Fox has not yet released for preview.