TVSquad

Here are the weekly TV ratings, by number of viewers.

Last week I mentioned that Lost wasn't in the top 20. Well, this week it returns. Not to the highs it was earlier this year, but hey, I wouldn't mind almost 11 million people watching what I do each week (I'm talking about writing, not going to the bathroom or eating a sandwich). Survivor's finale and regular episode both made the top 20, even though it was the lowest-rated finale in the history of the show.

1. American Idol - Weds (FOX)
2. American Idol - Tues (FOX)

Recently, the AOL list of the 50 Best Sitcoms of all time got me thinking about ten all time great sitcom sidekicks. Working on that list inspired me to look at the best in sitcom siblings -- ADULTS ONLY. The brother/sister relationship, brothers, sisters, family dynamics are great fodder for comedy. For my collection of the best, I've limited it to grown-up siblings only because there are some truly funny things that happen only among adults brothers and sisters that are unique and universal at the same time. After all, unlike the childhood years when kids are controlled by parents, adult siblings remain close and in each other's lives by choice -- and that has made for some wonderful situation comedy.

Niles & Frasier Crane, Frasier
Two brothers, both psychiatrists, both opera buffs, both wine connoisseurs, both heterosexual despite evidence to the contrary. The Crane brothers were like two peas in a very funny pod, sparking each other in comedy, competitive and supportive at the same time. Making their brotherly friendship even funnier was the fact that their Dad, Martin, who was nothing like either one of them. What's even funnier is the fact that when Frasier was originally spun-off from Cheers, the writers didn't include the character of Niles. It was only after seeing an 8x10 of David Hyde Pierce, and how much he looked like Kelsey Grammer's brother, that they put him in the pilot. Frasier would not have been nearly the hit comedy it was without the brother angle.

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

• American Idol - Season 6 Finale
• The Chase - Season 1
• Drawn Together - Season 3 Uncensored
• Galaxy Rangers - The Collection: Vol. 1
• Garfield and His Friends - A Cat and His Nerd
• The Incredible Hulk Returns and The Trial of The Incredible Hulk
• Lovejoy - Season 3
• The Magnificent Seven - Complete Series
• Mission: Impossible - Season 4
• The Rat Patrol - Complete Series
• Saturday Night Live - Season 3
• Sinatra (mini-series)
• Stargate: Infinity - Complete Series
• Two and a Half Men - Season 3

The CSI/Two and a Half Men writers switch was a very clever promotion for CBS. Fortunately, the writers saw the opportunity to change places as more than just a publicity stunt. They really took the scripting seriously and came up with inventive episodes for each program. If this were a competition to see which team would deliver the better show, who would take on the task of writing winning TV in a genre not their own and succeed beyond expectations, the comedy scribes take the gold. Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn's CSI was pure genius, and if it were up to me, CSI should submit it for an Emmy.

But first there was Two and a Half Men. In an episode called "Fish in a Drawer" (and if somebody could explain what that title means, I'd be most appreciative), the story picked up after Evelyn married Teddy. In the teleplay by CSI regular writers Evan Dunsky and Sarah Goldfinger, Charlie and Courtney check out of the reception for a little romp in his room upstairs only to find Teddy's dead bod on the bed. Talk about spoiling the mood. Teddy wasn't only a corpse, he was a corpse with his pants pulled down around his ankles and lipstick stains on his hoo-ha. The cops were called in, a detective who was a dead ringer for Marg Helgenberger -- played by redhead Jamie Rose -- had the vaguely Bondian name of Jagov, Sloane Jagov. Naturally, Charlie had to make a move on her. He couldn't keep his eyes off her cleavage.

We told you recently about the writing teams of CSI and Two and Half Men switching places for one episode of each show. The first episode airs tonight at 9 on CBS.

The Two and a Half Men episode was written by the CSI staff and is titled "Fish in a Drawer," and I have no idea what that title means. Thursdays CSI episode was written by the Two and a Half Men staff and has a title that's a lot easier to understand: "Two and a Half Deaths." It's about the murder of a despised sitcom star (Chuck Lorre used to work for both Cybill Shepherd and Roseanne Barr - I'm just sayin').

We told you a long time ago about the writers of CSI switching places with the writers of Two and a Half Men for one episode, way back when people thought it was a joke and that it would never actually happen. Well, it's happening, and after the jump is the video to prove it.

The idea came from Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre, who approached CSI executive producer Carol Mendelsohn about switching teams for one episode of each series. The plot involves the murder of a famous Hollywood comedienne/sitcom diva who is difficult on the set of her show, and Lorre is quick to point out that it's NOT based on Cybill Shepherd, who he worked with on her show (*cough cough wink wink*). The video shows the behind the scenes goings on as the shows meet in the writers room and plan her Las Vegas demise.

I can't believe this is actually happening. I've told you before how much I hate cross-overs on TV; it's tolerable if it's at least the same genre of show. This is like in-breeding. If CSI and Two And a Half Men were brother and sister, then their deformed, incestual love-child is what's going to air on Monday, May 5th.

We actually reported on this almost a year ago, that the writers of CSI and Two And a Half Men were going to flip-flop and pen an episode of the other show. Well it never happened. Now, according to this press release, it's a go. I would imagine that the Writer's Strike played a role in resuscitating this awkward match-up.

Here are the weekly TV ratings, by number of viewers.

Even though the picture is from Two and a Half Men (for a change), American Idol got the first two slots this week again. Dancing with the Stars got the third and fifth slots, sandwiching a new CSI. It's really amazing how many shows that CBS has in the top 20 every single week. This week they have 12 shows, and that's not counting the basketball specials. That's wild.

1. American Idol - Tues (FOX)
2. American Idol - Weds (FOX)

At the end of each episode of The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men, producer/creator Chuck Lorre has a "vanity card" that says something different each week. I usually pause my TiVo to read what it says, not realizing that he posts each and every one of them on his website.

This week's vanity card for The Big Bang Theory is pretty juicy. So juicy, in fact, that CBS wouldn't let him air it. The original card explained how CBS censored a joke at the climax of the show where Cousin Leo blames his fake drug addiction on a molester named Chaplain Horrigan. Lorre writes, "In the original shooting script the make-believe molester was called Father Horrigan." But, he says, CBS didn't want to offend Catholic viewers by suggesting that priests are known for molesting little boys. Lorre's complaint is prolific and quite funny, you can read the entire vanity card here. I have also placed a graphic of the card after the jump, just in case it gets taken down from his website (though, I doubt that will happen).

Here are the weekly ratings, by number of viewers.

Nothing too different in the ratings this week, except for the temporary invasion from the NCAA Basketball games on CBS. American Idol is still on top, Dancing with the Stars trails right behind, and usual suspects such as 60 Minutes, Lost, Survivor, NCIS, and CSI: Miami are in the top 20.

1. American Idol - Tues (FOX)
2. American Idol - Weds (FOX)

The world of primetime TV are primarily set in the real world. The real world based on the fiction they create. So, Law and Order -- in all its incarnations -- is set in New York City, but it's not the real five boroughs. The newspapers they read are not The New York Times, the Post or the Daily News. For contemporary TV fiction, reality is on the margins of the storytelling because you can't really set those characters in a real world. However, when the two worlds intersect, the results can be magic. Here's 8 big-time, primetime examples:

1) Cowboy Up Time
Remember the episode of Lost when Ben wanted to convince Jack that he was in communication with the world outside the island? To prove that he was telling the truth, he showed Jack a video of the Boston Red Sox winning the world series in 2004. You can't get more real than that, right? And yet it was used in one of the most out of this world shows on the air. In fact, using Lost's own terminology, the Red Sox video is a constant truth in a universe that's a complete fiction.

Here are the weekly TV ratings, by number of viewers.

OK, OK, so we know that American Idol grabbed the top two slots again (get used to it). But I'm getting a little tired of putting a picture of AI on this post each and every week. Not because of any dislike for the show, but because it's the same old thing every week. So, above is a picture from the number 15 show, The New Adventures of Old Christine.

1. American Idol - Tues (FOX)
2. American Idol - Weds (FOX)

• At 8, CBS has a new Big Bang Theory, followed by new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and Old Christine.
• ABC has the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars at 8, then the season premiere of The Bachelor.
• FOX has a new Canterbury's Law at 8, then a new New Amsterdam.
• NBC has new episodes of My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad, Deal Or No Deal, and Medium.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World at 8.
• The Kyle XY season finale airs at 8 on ABC Family, followed by the premiere of America's Prom Queen.
• Also at 8: Food Network has new episodes of Good Eats and The Secret Life Of...
• At 9, The CW has a new Pussycat Dolls.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 9.
• At 9:30, HBO has a new In Treatment.
• At 10, E! has The Soup Presents.

Check your local TV listings for more.

Here are the weekly TV ratings, by number of viewers.

No shock that American Idol grabs the first three slots again this week (and helps push both New Amsterdam episodes into the top 20), but I'm curious as to why the Thursday results show isn't higher than the Tuesday and Wednesday episodes, and why some weeks the Tuesday ep is number 1 in the ratings and other weeks the Wednesday show is number 1.

Lost continues to impress on its new night, and if you're wondering how 20/20 got to be number 5 for the week, it was the special "Royal Family" episode.

1. American Idol - Weds (FOX)
2. American Idol - Tues (FOX)
3. American Idol - Thurs (FOX)

Funny ladies Rosie O'Donnell (Nip/Tuck) and Fran Drescher (The Nanny) are working together on creating a new "fun, happy, family comedy" for TV. On Rosie's website, Fran and Rosie teamed up on camera to talk -- primarily about Fran's "cancer schmancer" campaign for public awareness -- but at the end, Rosie and Fran revealed a sitcom they are planning in which they'll star together.

There's no question that Fran and Rosie are funny women with loyal fans. The Nanny was a CBS hit for six seasons. Rosie, who more recently has been a source of controversy like her very tumultuous time as a cohost on The View, has also been a success on TV. While she was on The View, the ratings were higher than ever before or since. She also had an Emmy-award winning daytime talk show for six years straight which had a vociferous following.