TVSquad

Considering how prevalent reality television is these days, it's got to be a pretty daunting task to try and put together a comprehensive list of the best and worst of all time. But Entertainment Weekly thinks they've done just that. They've compiled the top 20 reality shows of all time, but also the ten worst reality shows of all time. All in all, they did a pretty damned good job.

I completely agree with the top six, but they lose me with Jackass at number seven. I have never understood the appeal of filming morons doing stupid things on purpose just to be stupid. But there were some shows missing from the list completely, like Little People Big World, So You Think You Can Dance and Beauty and the Geek. Surely those shows are better than The Hills and The Real Housewives of Sesame Street, or whatever franchise they're spinning now.

It's a dream come true for everybody like myself that utterly, utterly hates reality television. Heidi Pratt had to be rushed to the hospital for being "tortured" on the reality television show I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here.

First, who decided that Spencer and Heidi Pratt would be called "Speidi?" It sounds like the nickname for Spider-Man, only misspelled. Most likely it's the working of a really bad publicist who wants them to be the next "Brangelina" or "Bennifer" or something like that.

Second, given the problems the couple has already had with NBC regarding this show (like quitting and then coming back), this sounds like a ploy to not actually do anything while collecting a paycheck (something they got ample practice with in The Hills).

I would also like to add that it's probably even worse torture for the viewer to simply watch them on television than anything NBC put Heidi through.

I guess Heidi and Spencer really took this reality show's title to heart. They really did want to get outta there.*

The two stars of The Hills have quit NBC's new reality show I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Outta Here! They quit after last night's live episode. I watched a few moments of the show while flipping around and I saw that they were either asleep during the show and didn't participate in the last challenge (or whatever the hell they're called on this show) where all of the bugs were let loose on the contestants. The Red Cross, the pair's charity, isn't happy about it.

Every time I think I've seen the worst of television, another show comes along to scrape the bottom of the barrel. This is that show. It's stupid and despicable in almost every single way.

* Though I still refuse to call them "celebrities."

• Sci-Fi has a Land of the Lost marathon all night.
• At 8, ABC has a new episode of The Bachelorette, followed by the premiere of Here Come The Newlyweds.
• NBC has a new, two-hour Dateline, then a new Medium.
• PBS has a new Antiques Roadshow at 8.
• TCM has Sergeant York at 8, then Dawn Patrol.
• At 8:30, Food Network has a new Unwrapped, followed by new episodes of Dear Food Network and Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
• At 9, TLC has the season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8, then the premiere of Cake Boss.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 9.
• HBO has three new episodes of In Treatment starting at 9.
• Also at 9: ESPN has the Lakers/Nuggets game.
• At 10, MTV has a new episode of The Hills.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• WE has a Golden Girls marathon all night.
• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by the season premiere of The Bachelorette.
• CBS has a new Rules of Engagement at 8, then the season finales of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has two new episodes of Deal or No Deal at 8, followed by a new Medium.
• FOX has the two-hour season finale of 24.
• The CW has the season finale of Gossip Girl at 8, followed by the season finale of One Tree Hill.
• PBS has a new Antiques Roadshow at 8, then a new American Experience.
• ABC Family has a new Greek at 8.
• MyNetwork TV has a new Masters of Illusion, followed by a new Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed.
• Food Network has a new Good Eats at 8.
• At 9, USA has a new Monday Night RAW.
• History Channel has two new episodes of Ax Men at 9.
• There's a new Unwrapped on Food Network at 9.
• Also at 9: HBO has three new episodes of In Treatment at 9.
• At 10, MTV has a new episode of The Hills.
• Spike has the season premiere of 4th and Long at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

Last week I gave a sneak peek of last night's episode of Family Guy, and here's two more funny clips from the show featuring guest Lauren Conrad (The Hills). The first one features Lauren at the Griffin's dinner table (and it's a little raunchy, so proceed with caution). The second one features Brian and Lauren discussing Monet/Manet, relationships, and war. Guess which one knows more about those things.

Isn't it funny how the networks themselves are getting in on the web commentary about their shows? We have ABC giving recaps of Lost using action figures, and here's MTV giving a rather funny recap of The Hills, their show with untalented people doing dumb things in annoying ways. For good measure, the host also gets in some shots at Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton.

[thanks to Joel for the tip]

Well, that title pretty much explains it.

• At 8, ABC has a new Dancing with the Stars, followed by new episodes of Surviving Suburbia and Castle.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory at 8, then new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Rules of Engagement, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has a new Chuck at 8, followed by new episodes of Heroes and Medium.
• FOX has new episodes of House and 24.
• PBS has a new Antiques Roadshow at 8, then a new American Experience.
• There's a new Greek on ABC Family at 8, followed by a new Roommates.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 8.
  
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World at 8.
• At 8:30, Food Network has a new Will Work For Food, then a new Unwrapped.
• At 9, HBO has three new episodes of In Treatment.
• At 10, TNT has a new Saving Grace.
• Food Network has a new Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives at 10.
• History Channel has a new Ax Men at 10.
• MTV has a new episode of The Hills at 10.
• Also at 10: A&E has a new Paranormal State.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

I should be happy when there are a ton of new DVDs but nothing I want to buy, because I'll save some money. But this has been happening a lot lately. I mean, there must be something being released soon that I must own. I might have to get the Return of the Man From U.N.C.L.E. movie if it wasn't included in the complete series set I have.

Kinda amazed that My Two Dads has been released on DVD, though I shouldn't be because it seems like a lot of shows are making their way to DVD now. It makes me hopeful that other sitcoms from that era will be released too.

• 7th Heaven - Season 8
• Chowder - Vol. 2
• Doctor Who - The Androids of Tara, Key To Time, The Armageddon Factor, The Power of Kroll, The Pirate Planet, The Stones of Blood, and The Ribos Operation (all Special Editions)

MTV has renewed The City (a spin-off of The Hills) and Daddy's Girls ( a spin-off of Run's House). It also greenlit Teen Cribs, whose January special doubled their ratings.

I could go off on another rant about how MTV has long stopped being about music and has since become more like Media-Whore Television, but it seems redundant at this stage.

As someone who mostly watches scripted television either in the comedy or sci-fi genres, I'm wondering what the appeal of these shows are. I can only guess there is some degree of schadenfreude to watching these rich, attention-seeking fools make jackasses of themselves.

I do blame MTV for the reality show genre since they pioneered it with The Real World. It's become such a subculture that it has even spawned classes. But I can't blame them for the type of reality show they promote nowadays because they're just trying to appeal to their key demographic, the "I-want-it-all-and-I-want-it-now" generation

It's probably a little too late to mention this, but you could ring in the New Year with Paris Hilton at the Trademark night club in Sydney, Australia, and it will only cost you $129.

That's just one of the many celeb ways you can toast to 2009. You could also party with Lindsay Lohan at Mansion night club in Miami for $200. Her girlfriend friend significant other publicity partner Samantha Ronson will be the one spinning the records. How about going to Las Vegas and spending $200 to party with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? You could also spend the night with Spencer and Heidi (from The Hills, if you don't know). Actually that sounds like the most depressing New Year's Eve ever, so don't do that.

You could also ring in 2009 at my house. You won't have to spend the above amounts, though I might ask you to pitch in for some bags of Doritos (Nacho Cheese flavor). I'll have Dick Clark, Anderson Cooper, and Kathy Griffin at my house.* Happy New Year!

*via television

• At 8, ABC has Shrek The Halls.
• NBC has The Today Show Looks Back: A Holiday Special at 8, then a new Momma's Boys.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World at 8.
• History Channel has a new Modern Marvels at 8, followed by a new Cities of the Underground.
• Food Network has Rachael Ray's Holiday Feast at 8.
• At 8:30, ESPN has a new Monday Night Football, the Bears vs. the Packers.
• At 9, FOX has a new Prison Break.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 9.
• Nickelodeon has two Christmas episodes of Home Improvement at 9.
• Also at 9: Cartoon Network has Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.
• At 10, MTV has a new episode of The Hills.
• E! has The Soup: The Year In Soup at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

• At 8, ABC has I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown, followed by a new, two-hour 20/20.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory, then new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Worst Week, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has new episodes of Chuck and Heroes, then the series finale of My Own Worst Enemy.
• FOX has a new Sarah Connor Chronicles at 8, then a new Prison Break.
• TLC has two new episodes of Little People, Big World at 8.
• AMC has the George C. Scott version of A Christmas Carol at 8, followed by the movie Prancer.
• Also at 8: Food Network has Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Christmas, then Wintertime Treats Unwrapped.
• At 8:30, ESPN has a new Monday Night Football, the Browns vs. the Eagles.
• At 9, Lifetime has the movie Secret Santa.
• History Channel has a new Cities of the Underground at 9, followed by a new Ancient Discoveries.
• Hallmark has the movie A Town Without Christmas at 9.
• At 9:30, Nickelodeon has a Christmas episode of Home Improvement.
• At 10, MTV has a new episode of The Hills.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.

• At 8 ABC has A Charlie Brown Christmas, followed by the series finale of Boston Legal.
• CBS has a new Big Bang Theory at 8, then new episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Worst Week, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has new episodes of Chuck, Heroes, and My Own Worst Enemy.
• FOX has a new Sarah Connor Chronicles at 8, followed by a new Prison Break.
• There's a new Gossip Girl on The CW at 8, then a new Privileged.
• USA Network has a new Monday Night RAW at 8.
• Also at 8: BBC America has a new Top Gear.
• At 9, Food Network has the special Dear Food Network: Holiday Desserts.
• At 10, E! has a new episode of The Soup Presents.
• MTV has a new episode of The Hills at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk show listings.