This is my first Festivus. So I hope you can allow me to be a little more wide-eyed and naive, much like the small child who believes a large fat man can break the space-time continuum to bring him presents on Christmas morning. My wishes are very simple. I want peace and happiness throughout the universe. I also want the entire movie and television industry to heed my warnings and follow my commands as if they have been written on stone tablets with a giant fiery pen from God's stationary set. I also want an army of obedient zombie knights to enforce these commands, and clean up my house, say around once a week.
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