TVSquad

(S13E07) I love watching episodes of America's Next Top Model where contestants think they are amazing and crash and burn by the end of the show. This week, the challenge for the would-be models was the dreaded CoverGirl commercial.

The past few episodes have really become "Let's root for dorky Nicole, dyslexic Laura, and droopy-eyed Jennifer." They don't get bitch edits and even Rae finally realized how cool Nicole's dork-chic can actually be. Sundai and Erin complain about everything, while Brittany and Rae are forgettable. Since all three are favorites, I doubt that Tyra will pick them to win.

I'll admit it: I watch Jon & Kate Plus Eight. In all of the episodes I've seen, I've never listened to Jon Gosselin speak and thought, "You sir, have missed your vocational calling in the Rocket Sciences," but I also didn't think he was a complete idiot. Recently, my view has changed.

Let's not even get into the wisdom of dating a 22-year-old, or partying on a yacht in France while your wife is back home in Pennsylvania caring for your eight children. The man simply does not know the meaning of the phrase, "quit while you're ahead." To wit: his ridiculous defense on Larry King of his decision to halt production on Jon & Kate as soon as it became Kate Plus Eight, and his Ed Hardy-wearing ass got fired.

Gosselin also thought it would be wise to go on The Insider and square off against caustic defender of "justice," Nancy Grace. In this appearance, he further defends his actions, and claims that all of the decisions he makes are for his kids. Spoiler alert: This does not go well for him.

BEST

1. Mad Men. The best show on TV.
2. 30 Rock. The funniest show on TV.
3. Lost. Just when I started to drift away from this show they pull off an amazing year.
4. Chuck. I really hope NBC sticks with this show. One of the more entertaining hours on television.
5. The Colbert Report. Both Colbert and Jon Stewart handled the election well this year, but Colbert did something special.
6. The Mentalist. My favorite new show and one that deserves all the ratings.
7. Burn Notice. With 30 Rock and The Office, Thursday is a great night of TV again.
8. The Late Show with David Letterman. Dave is always great, but he got involved in the election too and really shined.
9, Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Sure, she may look like Palin, but that doesn't mean her impression would be automatic. Fey became a pop culture phenom this year.
10. Whatever, Martha. Really odd idea for a show, but it works.

I've written many times here about how much I hate the tabloid shows, whether it's Access Hollywood, TMZ, or Entertainment Tonight. One of the worst is ET's sister show, The Insider. Besides having a despicable host (Pat O'Brien -- what's with that little fake laugh he does all the time?) and the lamest writing this side of a junior high student newspaper, it's also evil and dumb.

Take last night's episode. I don't watch the show, but I didn't get to my remote quick enough to change the channel after the news ended and I caught the teaser opening. They showed singer John Mayer with a gun to his head, a rather raw photograph that looked like it was taken across the street from a bank. Was Mayer being held hostage in a holdup? Was one of Jennifer Aniston's exes there telling him not to see her anymore? OMG! Stay tuned to this breaking news!

Several months ago I made a promise that I was never going to watch the daily tabloid shows again. And I held on to that promise for a long time, and didn't watch Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, Access Hollywood or the other shows. Until last night, that is. I wanted to see if there was any news on the Owen Wilson story (though these shows claiming they have "breaking news" is truly laughable in this day of the web and instant info). I just want to report that these shows are still disgusting, ridiculous, and sleazy.

Example: On The Insider, Pat O'Brien showed clips of the hospital, with Samuel L. Jackson arriving and also Owen Wilson's brothers driving in a car to or from the place. And then they show "last known photos of the actor" (taken, um, August 8), and O'Brien describes Wilson as "running his hand through his hair," and you see Wilson with a serious look on his face. O'Brien is clearly implying that they can decipher something from a quick photo taken weeks ago on some street. Give me a break.

I thought there was something fishy about this David Hasselhoff drunk tape nonsense. It smelled of publicity to me, though why anyone would want to be filmed drunk and slobbering over a cheeseburger and potentially hurt his relations with his family is a mystery.

But guess what? The Hoff has an autobiography coming out May 15! I'm sure it's just a coincidence though.

The title, by the way, is Don't HassleThe Hoff. Jeez, it's one thing for others to call you "The Hoff," but calling yourself that? The book has a lot of (supposedly) juicy details, including Hasselhoff's revelation that he knows that Baywatch was a sexist show. The above link includes an excerpt from the book.

The feud continues.

After Rosie O'Donnell announced on The View that she has been treated for depression (and that she hangs upside down every day), Donald Trump had to go and make a statement to one of the gossip shows about it (seriously, does The Insider have a crew stationed outside his office 24/7 in case he does something?). The video is after the jump, but here's the text of what he said:

"I have no compassion for Rosie...I can fully understand that when she looks in the mirror she suffers from depression."

O'Donnell wrote one of her poems about it on her blog, and if she comes up with more gems like "it has been my goal/for so long/to give a balding billionaire a boner," I might have to bookmark her site.

[via Best Week Ever]

If you've been wondering where Pat O'Brien was the first few days of this month on The Insider (luckily I don't have to worry about such things anymore as I've stopped watching the show), the host fell and hit his head. He had to get stitches and was out for three episodes of the show. He hasn't said much about the accident, except that he fell and got hurt, and no one at Paramount is saying anything either.

This is the part of the post where I would normally talk about his past drug use and bizarre voicemails and drinking, but all that probably had nothing to do with this accident so I won't even mention it.

O'Brien is back on the show, reporting on Anna Nicole Smith's death.

[via TV Tattle]

There's a quality I really admire in older women. It's the "I no longer give a crap what you think of me" quality. They've seen it all, done it all, been there and back and have no reason not to speak their minds. It's so damn refreshing in a world of publicists and politesse to hear some old curmudgeon honestly and blithely offer their withering assessment of the world.

The now 80 year-old Charlotte Rae, television's Mrs. Garrett of Facts of Life fame, gave a mouthful to reporters on the red carpet of the LA premiere of Joan Collins and Linda Evans' theatrical turn in Legends. When asked about Collins, Rae responded, "Joan Collins is a bitch! There's no doubt about it. Everyone says she's an extremely difficult person." The Insider sprung the tape of Rae's remarks on Collins in a backstage interview. Collins reply: "Who is this cow!" I don't know what it is about these catty old broads, but I love them.

[Via After Elton]

I was going to say that this is the best news I've heard today, but then I remembered that I don't watch this show (or Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood) anymore, so I don't really give a crap. But any news that makes sure someone like Pat O'Brien is seen on television less is probably a good thing.

Inside sources are saying that O'Brien's contract with The Insider will not be renewed when his current contract is up in June. O'Brien's current salary is $4 million.

Now the question is whether or not O'Brien will go back to sports full-time. I was crushed when I saw him on CBS' tennis coverage last summer and I hope he doesn't return to that. Come on readers, help Pat out. What's the best job for the soon-to-be former Insider host?

[via TV Tattle]

This is going to be the last post I make about the gossip shows.

I can't take it anymore. I've said before that these shows (The Insider, Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, etc) are awful. But now I think they've crossed the line into despicable, hurtful, and disgusting. I truly can't watch them any longer.

The obsession the past week has been the Anna Nicole Smith story. The death of her son Daniel and the birth of her new daughter. The last couple of nights, The Insider and ET have been talking about how they have the EXCLUSIVE last pics of Daniel holding his new sister. First of all, how can they be "exclusive" when In Touch magazine and a dozen web sites have run them too? Second, I notice The Insider and ET aren't telling us how much they paid for the photos...or where they came from.

And they have this guy who says he's the father of Anna Nicole's baby. Maybe he is, but what is the point of coming on television and giving these interviews to ET and The Insider? They keep pushing these stories, teasing "Do the photos hold a secret clue to what happened?" Um, NO, THEY DON'T.

The infotainment shows (The Insider, Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, etc) are all moronic. Studies have shown that you actually lose brain cells when you watch them. That's no secret. But do they have to be so outrageously moronic?

I'm watching a repeat of yesterday's The Insider this morning, and they kept teasing an upcoming story about "Doctor McDreamy." They must have said the name at least five times, before the damn story even ran, later in the show.

If you're like me, you go through these phases where you get obsessed with a certain TV show. Maybe it's because you've never seen it before, maybe you haven't seen it in years, or maybe it's summer and you're looking for good things to watch. Below are five shows that I currently cannot get enough of, and why.

1. Lingo (GSN). Like Joel and Rich, I'm a game show geek. And while I watched this one here and there a few years ago, I've been watching it every single night lately. It's not a great show, but I like the simplicity of it, and Chuck Woolery is a quirky host. I still don't get the co-host though (Stacey a couple of years ago, now it's Shandi). Oh, she's hot and friendly, but what exactly is her job? She sits in front with a keyboard and controls the board? I doubt it. Many times you'll see her say something like "let's start with an N..." and she'll press a key, but the letter has already shown up on the board! So what exactly is her purpose? At least Vanna actually turns letters.

I do like the way Shandi says "Lingo balls" though.

It's unfortunate what has happened to some word these days. "Genius," and "cool" have all gotten twisted in the past couple of decades. Now add to that list the word "exclusive."

You ever notice the tabloid shows (ET, Access Hollywood, The Insider, Extra) will all say they have an "exclusive" interview with a celeb, but then you turn on another show and they'll have an interview with the same celeb, often in the very same chairs that the other interview had? What's up with that? Larry King does it a lot too. These shows honestly think that just because they interview a celeb on their show at a certain time in a certain way, that this qualifies as an "exclusive." Didn't exclusive once mean that no one else had the interview?

What is it with shows like Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, and Access Hollywood, breaking news stories that not only aren't breaking, they're not news and they're not stories. For example: ET has the habit, every year at this time, of saying, "Breaking News! ET has learned that Cameron Diaz will be a presenter at this year's Oscars!" How the hell is this news? That a star is going to be a presenter? And they do it almost every episode, for about two weeks leading up to the awards show.

A celeb deciding to go to an awards show is not news. Now, maybe if Cameron Diaz decided to boycott the Oscars, and picketed the red carpet dressed like a giant chicken, that would be news. But don't tell me that there's this incredible news breaking that she's going to be a presenter.