TVSquad

Michael J. Fox's Teen Wolf was infectious fun back in 1985. By the time we got to Jason Bateman and Teen Wolf Too, a lot of the luster had worn off. Still, MTV thinks there's still plenty to mine from the concept, as they've ordered a pilot for a Teen Wolf series.

MTV VP Liz Gately says, "It has a fresh take and is very different from the original." They go on to explain that it's more similar to An American Werewolf in Paris (not London, but Paris). I'm still trying to wrap my brain around why remakes seem to be all the rage right now. Especially if this remake is so different from the source title. Why is it a remake then?

Have we reached a creative laziness where it's just easier to try and sell the public on a property they've already heard of than something brand new? If this is as "very different" as Gately says, then why not just call it something else entirely? Vampires and werewolves are popular enough right now with the kids that you don't need a 24-year old movie title to sell a series.

Children's television is the ultimate pacifier. Where else in the world can a terrible, horrific monster that destroys both life and property with nary a whiff of sympathy be turned into a soft, cuddly character who has his own line of soft, cuddly dolls being sold at the local Wal-Mart? It's only later in life, after they've adjusted to these de-fanged monsters, do they realize that their beliefs were so wrong. Aaaannnddd, that's where the therapy comes in.

But, we're not here to talk about the emotional problems that are paralyzing you today. We're here to talk about those vampires, ghosts and mummies that were stripped down and made to be funny, clumsy and even musically oriented. After the jump you'll see a few examples of what I mean. Don't worry, they won't scare you...they've been homogenized for your nightmare-free pleasure.

Note that other sites have categorized this as merely a rumor since I first posted this. Update at end of post.

Like most people who wish for dumb things, I've been patiently waiting for someone to remake the 1985 Michael J. Fox movie Teen Wolf, or to at least film my script that re-imagines Beowulf with Scott Baio in the lead role (I call it BaioWolf). Yes, I know Beowulf has nothing to do with werewolves, but in BaioWolf, everyone is a werewolf, something I believe the original epic poem lacked.

Well, apparently it's happening, and Smallville's Tom Welling has signed on for the Teen Wolf remake, but not as the titular werewolf. In this remake, the werewolf will be female. No word yet on who will play the lead, and apparently the filmmakers are still scouting locations.