TVSquad

Personally, I don't think it's fair that some of these Hollywood folks get to just keep on making television shows. Especially the ones who don't age like the rest of us. I mean, what if I was waiting for Valerie Bertinelli to get too old for television? Or John Stamos, or Michael J. Fox? These people never look any older. I think they've found the Tuck's secret spring and have been sipping it for decades. In the end, there can be only one and my money's on Dick Clark. I think he is one of the Tucks.

Bertinelli has just been signed to star in a TBS sitcom as a mother of two. Good lord, One Day at a Time was more than thirty years ago! By my estimations that would make her ... let's see, she was a teenager then ... yes I know you can find her birthday easy enough online ... cross-reference how much hotter she was than Mackenzie Phillips ... then carry Schneider's creepy factor of 9.5 and you get ... one hundred and thirty two years old! Amazing! She doesn't look a day over forty-eight. I've gotta find that spring.

Bill Engvall is slowly but surely taking over your television.

Brett already told you about the annoying commercial-within-a-show ads for The Bill Engvall Show that TBS is running, and now comes word that the show will air this Monday night on CBS. The second season of the show starts on TBS June 12 and the cable network is trying to get the show some attention. In return, CBS can plug their shows on TBS.

I'm afraid The Bill Engvall Show is one of those shows that has escaped my radar, though I did see one clip from an episode that was actually pretty funny. I don't think that running an episode on CBS is going to make me watch the show that night, but I have to admit that this news did at least remind me that I should check out the show this summer and see how it is.

The relationship between the viewer and the network is one that requires a delicate balance. As the numbers for DVR penetration continue to climb, it's pretty clear that a great many of us are successfully dodging more and more commercial breaks. And the networks continue to push back, trying different things to get eyeballs on ads. Some are merely annoying. For instance, as much as I like both Kyra Sedgwick and The Closer, I'm annoyed every time Brenda walks out of the corner of my screen while I'm watching another show on TNT.

While that one is annoying, this latest adventure from TBS crosses a line. During an episode of Family Guy (video after the jump), Bill Engvall walks out on the screen, much like the Brenda spots for The Closer. The difference is that Bill holds up a remote and actually pauses the episode before heading into his pitch for his show. When he finishes, he unpauses the show, which runs for two more seconds before going to the regular commercial break. Please, if it's not too much trouble, strap on your sturdiest combat boots and join me in sending a theoretical kick to the crotch of anyone at TBS that didn't think this was the dumbest idea since starting everything at five minutes past the hour.

Sex and the...carpool lane? That's what TBS is going for with their new microseries, Commuter Confidential, debuting Monday, June 2, during the sanitized Sex and the City at 11 p.m. EST.

But they're not fooling us. It's advertising, not a series, micro or otherwise. The 2-minute pods feature four women who, while trapped in a car together to and from work every day, yap about sex, death, bodily fluids, celebrities, politics, and their experiences with Match.com, all while applying Revlon makeup.

Daisy (Keri Lynn Pratt) is the aspiring artist, fresh out of college and ready to take on the world. Carmen (Idalis DeLeon, pictured) is an attorney who brings home the bacon while her loser hubby sits home and cracks open the brews. Former beauty queen Paula (Dorie Barton) is kvetching over the breakup of her marriage. And Sylvie (Dee Ryan) cares for her aging mom while running a Montessori school and wondering why the hell she ever gave up her investment banking job.

I know, I know, a lot of you are thinking "I always watch Seinfeld online!" But now you can do it legally.

TBS is streaming episodes of the show on their web site. Right now it looks like there are only four episodes you can watch: "The Truth," "The Muffin Tops," "The Yada Yada," and "The Millennium." I was going to say that these are four classic episodes of the show, but then again I would say that approximately 98% of the episodes could probably be considered classic. If you're like me and you've seen each episode 55 times, this might not seem like a big deal (especially since it's on at least twice a night and there are DVDs), but it's a good option to have I guess (sorry Mac users - TBS hates you).

The summer schedule on NBC won't be filled with just reruns, apparently. The network wants to up their game quotient. That said, American Idol's producer, FremantleMedia North America and NBC are planning a celebrity version of Family Feud. Although there have been multiple variations of the Feud -- daytime, syndication, board game, internet edition, et. al -- this will be the very first time the game show will air as a regularly-scheduled primetime network show. John O'Hurley, who is the current host on the syndicated Family Feud, could be anchoring NBC's primetime celeb affair, but that has not been announced as yet.

Back in January we reported that the still popular 70's game show Match Game was ready to be revived once again by Fremantle Media, which pretty much owns rights to every single game show on the planet. In that report we mentioned that Fremantle was talking to a number of cable networks about this project, but no permanent home was established yet.

That problem may have rectified itself in the last few days, though, as a pilot has been commissioned by...Ah, you thought I was going to say GSN, didn't you? That would seem the most logical place since reruns of the 1973-82 version of Match Game have had a successful run for years on that network. Unfortunately, that is not the case. This time around the cable network requesting the pilot is TBS (as Bob mentioned earlier this month in a post about Turner's new shows).

Considering that Frank Calliendo's inaugural season on his show (cleverly titled Frank TV) hit excellent ratings numbers for TBS, it comes as no real shocker that it's been picked up for a second run. The first season was cut to only five episodes due to the writers strike, so rather than go back to finish the rest of the initial order, TBS has gone this route.

Calliendo's show is a streaming barrage of fast impressions and skits, featuring Calliendo in virtually every role. Made famous by his dead-on impressions of the likes of George W. Bush, Al Pacino and John Madden, the show has received mixed reviews. Personally, I find Frank to be an incredibly likable guy, which comes across well on the show, and as with most sketch shows, if something isn't working for you, go make a sandwich. It'll be something else by the time you come back.

TV Squad reported this a while back, so consider this a reminder, all you My Name Is Earl devotees. TBS will begin airing back-to-back episodes of the NBC/Emmy-winning sitcom on Mondays at 10:00 and 10:30 starting March 3rd. This is a chance to catch up on all the episodes from the very beginning. If you don't already know all about Earl's list, the true meaning of Karma, and why the Hickey brothers share a bed, this will fill in the blanks.

10:04: OK, that's it for me. I haven't even eaten yet. Don't forget to head on over to Moviefone for complete coverage of the awards (and if you missed the show, TNT is going to repeat it at 11).

See you next Friday night at Zac Efron's house.

10:01: Did Josh Brolin just make a snide reference to Julie Christie's "tiniest actor" comment when she accepted her award a few minutes ago, or was it just a joke I didn't get?

9:59: Looks like there's just movie-centric awards left. I forgot there isn't a Best TV Drama or Best TV Comedy category at the SAG Awards.

9:50: Matthew McConaghey and Kate Hudson: king and queen of the crappy romantic film.

9:46: This Farmer's Help Point ad is freaky, but I had a dream the other night that was even stranger. I won't go into details, but it involved a mutant cannibal family and a used record store. That's the last time I eat 8 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups right before bed.

9:36: Blair Underwood talking about the new technology that has come to film and television. The hidden message here is...pay the damn writers for stuff on the internet and cell phones!

9:29: These tributes to the people who died in the past year always make me nervous, because I'm afraid they'll forget someone. But this was well done, including TV character actors with the big name stars, and was even up to date as late as last week.

9:24: Female Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries is...a tie! Queen Latifah wins. Um, wait, I thought it was a tie? I'm confused.

9:20: Um...Mickey Rooney is aware that this isn't his tribute show, right?

9:18: Male Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries...Kevin Kline, As You Like It.

9:17: James Spader is slowly morphing into William Shatner.

To call 2007 a stellar year of TV would be a mistake, because it was a very bleh year in many respects. Shows that had previously riveted us to our seats made missteps and mistakes. New shows were either mediocre or just unmemorable. A writers' strike made people anxious and depressed all at once. And the aspects of the TV world that have generated low expectations continued on their merry lowbrow way (I mean, who expected Tila Tequila's search for love to be anything but a skankfest)?

But in a year of abject mediocrity, some highlights and lowlights poked through. Like last year, I'm going to make up categories instead of doing traditional "Bests" and "Worsts." It hurts my brain less...

Here are the weekly cable ratings, by number of viewers.

If I was to summarize the cable ratings for this week, it would be football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, High School Musical 2, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, World's Funniest Commercials, football, football, football, football, football, football, football, The Santa Clause 2, football, football, football.

Next week might be more of the same, since there were college football games on New Year's Day.

1. Monday Night Football (ESPN)

Following the strong ratings figures for Tyler Perry's House of Payne, which received that order for 10,000 episodes right off the bat, give or take 9,000, and the solid premiere of The Bill Engvall Show, TBS struck comedy gold again with Frank Caliendo's Frank TV. The late-night sketch/impression show scored an impressive 2.9 million viewers, according to Variety, with a not-surprising-at-all 64% of those in the coveted 18-49 demographic.

Caliendo, whose impressions include George W. Bush, the entire main cast of Seinfeld, Robin Williams and his signature John Madden, plays virtually every character on the show. His Bush is so dead-on, if the strike continues, he can just stand their and make Bush's classic expressions for thirty minutes. His half-smiles, smirks and squinchy eyebrows are enough to bring audiences to tears.

Here are the weekly cable ratings, by number of viewers.

1. Monday Night Football (ESPN)
2. Baseball - Indians/Yankees (TBS)
3. Twitches Too (Disney)
4. Baseball - Diamondbacks/Rockies
5. The Wizards of Waverly Place (Disney)
6. Baseball - Diamondbacks/Rockies
7. Hannah Montana (Disney)
8. SpongeBob SquarePants (Nickelodeon)
9. Hannah Montana (Disney)
10. Hannah Montana (Disney)

Here are the weekly cable ratings, by number of viewers.

1. Monday Night Football (ESPN)
2. Baseball - Indians/Yankees Game 3 (TBS)
3. Baseball - Indians/Yankees Game 2 (TBS)
4. Baseball - Indians/Yankees Game 1 (TBS)
5. Baseball - Angels/Red Sox Game 2 (TBS)
6. Baseball - Angels/Red Sox Game 1 (TBS)
7. Baseball - Cubs/Diamondbacks Game 1 (TBS)
8. Baseball - Cubs/Diamondbacks Game 3 (TBS)
9. WWE Monday Night RAW (USA)
10. Baseball - Angels/Red Sox Game 3 (TBS)