TVSquad

I would even hesitate to call Buffy The Vampire Slayer a superhero. Yeah, she has incredible fighting powers and goes up against various monsters and evildoers, but it's really odd to see her name next to superheroes such as Batman, The Flash, Superman, and Captain America.

But according to readers of Redeye, she's a better superhero than The Dark Knight. (Yup, it's another character showdown over at Redeye.)

Stop reading now if you don't want to be spoiled regarding the beginning of season eight of Smallville. We already know that the new season takes a different direction, as Lana Lang goes part-time, Lex Luthor is gone and Doomsday is in. At least Allison Mack is staying.

Spoilers after the jump ...

Welcome to Subtle Subtitles. For those of you who are uninitiated to the purpose of this feature, we're asking you to come up with your funniest quote or description for what's going on in the screen grab we choose for the week. Winners are announced in the following Friday's contest.

Last contest's winner: Butters

...and going on Celebrity Fit Club was the best thing Superman ever did.

This week, in honor of Buffy/Angel Retro Squad week ...

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Even when I was a little kid, there were some things about the Super Friends (or Superfriends or Superamigos, or whatever they were calling it) that didn't sit right with me. Maybe it was because the confluence of superpowers all in one place just boggled my young mind. Maybe it was the mysterious change from Wendy and Marvin to the Wonder Twins that made me scratch my tiny noggin. Not sure. But those mysteries continue to fascinate me, even into adulthood. It's just that those mysteries are more sophisticated:

1. How did the Super Friends have time to hang out at the Hall of Justice? Every one of the SFs lived in different parts of the country: Batman and Robin were in Gotham City, for instance. So, did B&R commute from Gotham to Metropolis a few times per week? Did they use the Bat Plane or the Batmobile most of the time? Did they claim the mileage on their taxes?

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Welcome Back to TVSBTTHB (TV Squad Behind the True Hollywood Biography). For over a decade the team known as the Super Friends traveled the world, and the galaxy, to right the wrongs wrought by such villains as the Legion of Doom and Darkseid. But, by the mid-1980s, their services were no longer needed by the public, who watched many of their adventures on television. It was then that these heroes faded away.

So, what happened to them? Being the show that looks under every rock and inside every dumpster, TVSBTTHB was able to obtain information on all of the Super Friends: major, minor and 'what the hell are they doing on the team?'. Some of their stories are heartbreaking, others heartwarming, and the rest are just "meh." Yet, they are all fascinating and provide an extra layer of complexity to the already complicated lives of these superhumans.

Now, let's turn our attention to Superman, Batman, El Dorado, and the rest of the Super Friends.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

I've got to hand it to the writers of The Super Friends: The Legendary Super Powers Show; for a mere ten minute episode, they really jam-packed 'Reflections in Crime' with a lot to make fun of ... er ... write about.

This 14th episode of The Legendary Super Powers Show is chock-full of funnies; some intentional, some ... not so much. The episode begins with Superman and Samurai playing chess, although it sounds like they are fighting, with such lines as, "Oh good move, that really hurts." We get a chuckle when we see that they are merely playing chess.

In early May, we told you that Smallville was looking at adding two new characters to fill in the void left my some major departures (read here Lex, less Lana, and no more Lionel, since the character got killed). The two characters were that of Doomsday, the only DC Comics character to have killed Superman, and Tess, a female villain set to take care of Lex's estate.

Gossip columnist Michael Ausiello reports on his website that the show finally cast both roles. Battlestar Galactica's Sam Witwer was cast as a reviewed/revamped version of Doomsday while newcomer Cassidy Freeman will play Tess.

Slight spoilers about both roles coming up!

We are all so familiar with the main Super Friends, not to mention their powers. Superman, with his x-ray vision, super strength, and all that flying and stuff. Batman, pretty much powerless, but with a darned cool toolbelt and a car second only to Kitt. Wonder Woman, complete with magic lasso of truth and invisible jet.

These Super Friends ran the show over at the Hall of Justice, while the secondary heroes played second fiddle. But why? Honestly, I think some of the secondary heroes had the superior powers and they probably would have kicked the pants off of some of the main Super Friends. So why did they remain secondary characters? Let's take a closer look at their powers ....

Samurai
Besides being able to turn into a tornado and set himself on fire, Samurai can become invisible. Yes, that's cool and all, but if your enemy cannot see you, how can they defeat you? I'm pretty sure the Legion of Doom would be mighty confused by this, as would most of the super heroes.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Remember when you were watching Pinky and the Brain and the Brain would think of these abstract, convoluted plots for taking over the world? Or when Scott Evil was pointing out to his father how easy it would be to shoot Austin Powers in the head rather than subject him to some sort of silly trap from which he could escape. I'm convinced they were parodying the Legion of Doom's methodology from the Challenge of the Super Friends which ran from 1978 to 1979 on ABC. Their simple goal was stated in the opening credits: the conquest of the Universe, with a subordinate goal of the destruction of the Super Friends. They failed every time, and I think that's partially due to poor planning.

With that in mind, here are the top five silliest plans from the Legion of Doom to accomplish their goals:

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

Ever since they appeared on Saturday morning, The Super Friends have been a veritable gold mine for wacky videos. The following is a short list of some of my favorite short videos starring Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and the rest of the gang.

Being a proud child of the '70s, I have the fondest memories of The Super Friends cartoon. Those memories have morphed into something altogether different as I revisit the episodes, approximately thirty years later, with my three-year-old son. What used to be a fun Saturday morning romp has been elevated to a new level of appreciation. Yep, it's still all rompy fun, but I feel so good about my son watching The Super Friends for several reasons.

The Super Friends is an innocent cartoon.
In today's world of inappropriate television, it is refreshing to see a show that could be very violent be instead very innocent. There are no guns (aside from "rays" that shoot light or beams and usually transform someone into say, a dinosaur or a miniature version of themselves. Yeah, that's realistic.). There is no fighting or physical contact, unless you count wrestling with Wonder Woman and her magic lasso. Assumptions about a show with "bad guys" could keep one from watching it with their kiddos, but don't knock it 'til you try it. I'd show Owen a marathon of The Super Friends before I'd let him watch any of the violent Looney Tunes of my youth. Yeah, I turned out OK, and I know birds really don't drop anvils on coyotes and rifles really don't make people "all purple" as Owen puts it, but he's only three, for crying out loud.

(S07E20) After a pretty intense set of scenes from the past season, we open with Edward Teague trying to run to South America (as all fugitives tend to do). His stewardess ends up being Kara, who takes a very sinister turn as she threatens to throw Teague out of the plane. When he gives her the information she requires, she destroys the plane and kills him anyway (along with everyone else on the plane).

For the last time this season: Somebody saaaavvvveeee meeeee...

(S07E19) Lex is still pursuing the secret of Veritas. In his journeys, he encounters a cloaked stranger who tries to kill him and later on tries to kill Clark. I think this episode borrowed a page or two from The DaVinci Code. For that matter, I think half the season did.

Lex has been hurt or nearly killed a great deal since the start of this series. It's unlikely his latest chest mutilation will ever heal. It wouldn't surprise me if he left the area of Smallville entirely. Oh, wait...

We knew it was coming. At the end of February 2007, Smallville actor, Michael Rosenbaum, announced his intentions of leaving the show at the end of the 2007-2008 season in order to tackle new projects. For the past year, fans (I include myself here) hoped that the actor would change his mind. How can Smallville be, well, Smallville without Lex Luthor? Things looked grim when the actor reminded us last February that he was done with the show, come the Season 7 finale. And today, fans around the world must come to the realization that Rosenbaum wasn't joking: he really is leaving the show "to start the next chapter of my life and career," he says in a joint statement with The CW.

(S07E17) Most sci-fi or fantasy television series have used a "parallel universe" or "what if" storyline in which we see what life would be like if a different set of circumstances existed in the characters' universe. As of tonight's episode, Smallville is no exception to this rule. In fact, it's kind of surprising the creators haven't done it before now since they seem to rely on television clichés.

Somebody saaaaaavvvveeee meeeee....