TVSquad

OK, so we've all seen the latest episode of Lost and we now know who the Oceanic Six are.

Don't we?

There seems to be some confusion among fans as to whether we've seen the last of the six "survivors" (in quotes because who the hell knows what the end game will reveal). Up until last night's episode we saw that Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Sayid definitely survived. Last night we were supposed to find out the last of the Oceanic Six. It was revealed that Sun survived too, but Jin died (possibly on the island, but that's another plot point to be revealed later).

Ladies, who do you fantasize about when you're making sweet love to your partner? 'American Idol' judge Simon Cowell? Well, in wacky ole England, Cowell has placed second on a list of women's dream men right after "007" Daniel Craig. Cowell beat out David Beckham, Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio. Speaking with The Sun, Cowell had this to say about the honor: "I would expect to be very near the top as I'm obviously extremely attractive."

I'm not sure Cowell would even place in the top 10 stateside. What do you think it is that makes England's ladies weak in the knees for the bad boy judge? Could it be the tough, man hair that peeks out of his V-neck sweaters? The confidence? The power? Do they think he'd take charge in the sack? Frankly, he seems like the kinda guy that probably cries after sex. I wonder if in the British broads' fantasies, there's a panel of judges ranking their amorous activities upon completion -- something like Woody Allen's 'Bananas.' Just don't expect much for the East German judge.

Related:
Gee, your hair smells like Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell won't sing for Ricky Gervais' Extras

(S03E02) Someone want to tell me why they had to call this episode "The Glass Ballerina?" It referred to one tiny thing at the very beginning! I don't know, I guess I just like my episode titles to actually tell me what's going on and not give me some vague reference to something that's ultimately not all that important. Alias used to be notorious for this. But in the end, what did we learn from the glass ballerina? We learned that Sun is a big ol' cheating liar.

(S06E25)

Burns: Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing: block it out.

In no episode has Burns been more evil than in the two-parter "Who Shot Mr. Burns" that bridged the sixth and seventh seasons. He becomes so evil in fact, that Smithers actually turns against him, even though it "violates every sycophantic urge" in his body.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The episode begins with another normal day at Springfield Elementary, with one minor difference: Super Dude, the classroom gerbil, has died, crushed by his own water bottle. Willy buries the gerbil in the boiler room, assuring the dead rodent that his own father simply got thrown in the bog when he died. Although, didn't his father appear in the season ten episode "Monty Can't Buy Me Love?" Yes, he did, but let's not worry about that, okay? Okay.

Let's face it: Local news programs pretty much suck. Morning progams in particular. The weather guys are never right, the anchors cheerfully chit-chat about stupid stuff, and the reporters are always out doing lame bits with giant vegetables. But, every once in a while you see something that you can't turn off. In Philadelphia, it's Mascot Monday. The local FOX affiliate's morning program concludes each Monday with a baffling segment where the anchor dances with mascots

Don't ask why. Just watch and laugh (video is embedded after the jump). And if you like it, there are a whole bunch more of them on YouTube.

[Thanks, Sam!]