TVSquad

Simpsons scribe Mike Reiss' Queer Duck recently got the DVD treatment as a straight-to-video movie. Reiss told a crowd at NewFest, an LGBT Film Festival, that Paramount ordered his writers not to make fun of Tom Cruise and his perceived sexual orientation, taking objection to one line in a song about Gay Day that went, "'Let's call Tom Cruise. What can we lose?" Reiss, trying to be diplomatic, had the line changed to "'Don't call Tom Cruise. He's straight and he sues," but that line wasn't acceptable either. So, if you're thinking of creating a cartoon that gently mocks Tom Cruise, you should know that you're not allowed to call him gay, or straight. I think that's only fair, since everyone knows he reproduces by exploding a cloud of spores from the top of his head.

[via Best Week Ever]

Moonlighting actress Cybill Shepherd will be joining the cast of The L Word for an eleven episode story arc starting in early 2007. The actress will play the Executive Vice Chancellor of California University and the boss of Bette Porter (Jennifer Beals). Her character is a married woman with two grown kids, but she begins to question her sexuality. Yeah, I know, I probably could have guessed the "questioning her sexuality" part, too. She joins Marlee Matlin, who was added to the cast recently. Actress Javina Gavankar is also joining the Showtime series.

Clay Aiken always comes across as a very affable and kind human being. His fans, however, will both attack and eat someone who dares to slight their favorite singer even a little. When a soldier, John Paulus, reported that he had met Clay via the Web and that the two met in a hotel for sex he began to receive death threats.The threats haven't deterred him, obviously, because now he's considering re-enacting his alleged tryst in a porn movie.

I, like most people, think Paulus is full of it, but let's imagine that all of this is true, just for argument's sake. Paulus claims he received no money for his story, so why the obsession with telling everyone about it? Whether this actually happened or didn't happen seems irrelevant now. It all boils down to Paulus wanting to take advantage of whatever remains of his fifteen minutes. Furthermore, everyone already has their minds made about Clay anyway. Some think he's gay, others think he's straight, and then there are those like myself who believe he's actually a robot controlled by a tiny duck inside his head. Clay's best defense is keeping his mouth shut, and he knows this.