There are a lot of really horrible things that have put America on the map: Jerry Springer, our ability to infuse anything edible with cheese, the fact that we're probably working on infusing something inedible with cheese.
Guns, however, shouldn't be one of them. The Second Amendment stands as one of many great testaments to the idea of freedom that our forefathers envisioned for their people. They felt a government should trust their people with great responsibility if they truly believed in the concept of freedom and democracy.
Sure, if they came to the present and saw that we primarily use that responsibility for hunting moose from helicopters and negotiating with the Domino's guy they might take it right back, but the idea is what's important.
So to celebrate one of America's latest of many birthday to come because fireworks are technically illegal in my neck of the woods, here are your TV's seven greatest guns.
There are about 20 funny lines in this short segment from last night's episode of The Colbert Report. Colbert goes after CNN's Anderson Cooper for getting the exclusive story on what happened to Bubbles, Michael Jackson's former pet chimp. "Crank up the AC!"
The Colbert Report has a regular feature called A Tip of the Hat and A Wag of the Finger, where he praises one thing and goes after something else. Last night he talked about Missouri State Representative Cynthia Davis and her "hunger can be a positive motivator" stance, and then criticized FOX News for calling Governor Mark Sanford a Democrat, saying they also identified Hurricane Katrina as a Democrat. (Video also here.)
Didn't Jimmy Kimmel do a similar joke recently? Yes he did:
I sent emails to two networks officials to confirm this jarring claim. Jeremy Gaines, MSNBC's vice president of communications, responded that he is certain the entry is a "hoax" and that he and other network officials were working to correct it. The section on Olbermann's death has since been removed from the page.
The weirdest part of that Governor Mark Sanford press conference yesterday wasn't the odd detail he gave or the lies he told his staff about this whole affair/hike, it was the girl in the background behind Sanford who kept smiling broadly. Perhaps the next time a cheating politician has a press conference he should do it with his back against a wall.
Anyway, Stephen Colbert tackled the subject last night. He has a unique take on it because he actually interviewed Sanford back in early 2008 as part of his "Better Know" series (the interview was repeated earlier this year). Here's the whole episode (the Sanford segment is first).
Yesterday we showed you a clip of Stephen Colbert's outrage at President Obama swatting a fly during an interview with CNBC. And now he has support from a big name star who, well, has experience with being a fly. (Video also here.)
You've probably seen the video of President Obama killing a fly during an interview with CNBC (yes, PETA is mad). Last night both The Daily Show and The Colbert Reporthandled the incident in very different ways. First, Jon Stewart runs around with his shirt off, and after the jump, Stephen Colbert tries to interview the widow.
Last week was a really special week for late night comedy shows. No, I'm not talking about a certain feud between a host and a politician. I'm talking about the four shows that The Colbert Report did from Iraq. There was a lot of great stuff, and if you missed any of it, here's a quick recap. (Video also here.)
This installment of Sketch Comedy Saturday is less about you pining for new episodes of Saturday Night Live and more about me having an excuse to use this old image of Stephen Colbert with a puppy. It makes me sick, it's so adorable. Unfortunately, The Dana Carvey Show wasn't just twenty-some minutes of Mr. Colbert nonchalantly holding baby animals, but it was still a pretty funny program.
If you haven't heard, Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper might be in the big screen A-Team movie. I can certainly picture Cooper in Dirk Benedict's place, and I guess Neeson could make a good Hannibal, though he wouldn't have been one of my top choices. But how about Murdock, the crazy team member played by Dwight Schultz? Who could play him?
If you missed last night's Colbert Report, you missed one of the great episodes. Colbert is in Iraq entertaining the troops, and last night he showed how he got there (it involves a poison dart). I especially like the golf club nod to Bob Hope. Full episode below! (And also here.)
As most of you know by now, Stephen Colbert is taking his show on the road again and this time, the Colbert Report is going to Baghdad. It's certainly a far cry from his first TCR outside of New York, that week in Philadelphia way back in April of last year (check it out, I was there). The troops and the casual viewers at home will definitely be in for a treat.
Something I certainly was not expecting out of this trip was a new look for Mr. Colbert. Sure, he was bound to incorporate some camo to get into the spirit of things, but I was expecting maybe, like, a tie or a playful lapel pin. But no. As we can see from this video, Mr. Colbert is hardcore enough to bypass the semi-patriotic accessories and get a full-on buzzcut.
The time and nation that Stephen Colbert couldn't reveal where he is taking his show has been revealed. And because elite Army ninjas have not sneaked into his studio and whisked him away to an interrogation room for breaking the military code of silence, it's been confirmed by the network.
Stephen Colbert is taking his Colbert Report to Baghdad for the troops next week. The network claims this is the first time the USO has brought a television show into a combat area for a week of shows, if you don't count, say, the news.
Colbert has landed in Baghdad and underwent some basic military training to prepare for his visit to the region at Camp Victory, the former home of Saddam Hussein's Al-Faw Palace. That alone should provide hours of hilarious material for the show. But there's more going on than just producing something to keep you entertained during your post-work Kraft dinner.
This is all kinds of creepy. Doctors in Canada have created a lung that breathes outside of the human body. It looks like something from a 50s horror movie, and it's too much for Stephen Colbert to take. It's the new installment of "That's The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard" (Video also here).
The New York Observer is reporting that Stephen Colbert will guest edit the June 8 edition of Newsweek. According to the Observer, the idea came from a lunch between Newsweek editor Jon Meacham (who has been a guest on The Colbert Report) and Colbert, in which Meacham was impressed by Colbert's knowledge of current events.
The stories themselves will be treated seriously, as they would in any other issue, but Colbert gets to play in the margins, editing contributor bios, writing an essay, and annotating different stories. Which should make next week's issue look something like the magazine version of The Daily Show's faux text book America.
The Observer quotes Colbert as saying, "I'm confident we'll have mixed results! I want to be apart [sic] of that proud tradition!" and cites a few other guest editor ventures gone wrong. I wonder about the timing of it. Newsweek launched a complete redesign three issues ago, trying to re-conceptualize the newsweekly's place in the age of instant news.
There are a lot of really horrible things that have put America on the map: Jerry Springer, our ability to infuse anything edible with cheese, the fact that we're probably working on infusing something inedible with cheese. 
Keith Olbermann! Come on down! You're the next TV celebrity whose death has been falsely reported on the Internet!
If you haven't heard, 
The time and nation that Stephen Colbert couldn't reveal where he is taking his show has been revealed. And because elite Army ninjas have not sneaked into his studio and whisked him away to an interrogation room for breaking the military code of silence, it's been confirmed by the network. 
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