TVSquad

(S05E02) "I'll kill you in your sleep...I can do it and not leave any forensic evidence." - Nicole, to Paul

Uh...wow. That's one of the more provocative statements made in the history of The Mole. Of course, if this show was on CBS Nicole would have said, "...I can do it and not leave any forensic evidence and even the CSI: Miami team wouldn't be able to prove I did it." The funny thing is, Nicole wasn't totally out of line in saying it. Just when you think Nicole was the "evil" one on this reality show, another strong contender shows up: Paul. I don't know which one I'd rather talk to less, though Paul pulled ahead of Nicole tonight in many ways.

(S04E02) The Office is a lot like the New England Patriots. I know that sounds strained, but hear me out: like The Office, the Pats are a cut above the competition. They have a great collection of role-players that excel at usually thankless positions, and they have a few break-out stars who are smart enough to realize that their success hinges very much on those role players. The coaching staff, like the producers of The Office, are second-to-none, never settling and always striving to do better.

They're both so good at what they do, it makes their missteps all the more glaring. We all know what the Pats did wrong. To find out where tonight's Office went awry, you'll have to follow me after the jump...

I really didn't want to like Victoria Beckham. In photos, she never smiles. She is always impeccably dressed and frighteningly skinny. She was Posh Spice, but she's more famous for marrying David Beckham. She always seemed like a bitch, quite frankly. But, I am embarrassed to say that I found her adorable after watching last night's special, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America.

Victoria Beckham and her soccer player husband, David, are currently filming separate reality shows about their move to Los Angeles. Posh is all over Los Angeles this week, filming her series, which will air on NBC or Bravo. She's doing things like throwing out the first pitch at a Dodgers game and "accidentally" bumping into Perez Hilton at a coffee shop.

And David Beckham is making his own reality show for British network, ITV. Producers say it's not so much about his wife and three sons, but about soccer. There's a great quote in the article about the driving force of this reality show, "David's move to LA Galaxy is an historic event... Viewers will get an amazing insight into his thoughts about the story that shook the world of football."

Not too long ago, Anna told you that former Spice Girl and wife of soccer star David Beckham, Victoria Beckham, would be starring in a reality series on NBC that would follow her and her husband as they make their move to the United States.

Well, the series is still happening, except it won't be a series, it'll be a primetime special. All of this is merely speculation at this point, and NBC hasn't made any comment one way or the other. However, like Anna, I haven't quite figured out what it is about this series/special that's supposed to attract people, especially Americans. I think whatever mainstream infatuation we had with Posh Spice has long since gone away, and while David Beckham is no doubt a superstar in his own right, soccer just isn't that popular here. That's not a slight against the sport itself, I'm merely pointing out that it's unclear exactly who this series/special is trying to attract.

Of course, surprises are always nice, so maybe after this hits TV screens I'll be coming back on this blog and telling everyone how great it is.

I thought I had seen everything Mr. T has done, but this commercial is completely new to me. You should skip to the bottom of this post and watch it, then come back here for my analyzation. Okay, then.

So, the commercial starts off with a soccer game, and one player overplaying his injury a little too much. We cut to a scene of Mr. T driving a tank toward the soccer field. He smashes two cars along the way: did those cars have people in them? Mr. T does not care. Mr. T has bigger things on his mind: big, nutty chocolaty things.

Viacom was just the beginning. Sure, the parent company of MTV and Comedy Central sued the bejesus out of YouTube for $1 billion in copyright infringement. But did you really think other entities would stay out of the action?

The Football Association Premier League is threatening legal action, as is the country of Thailand.

The Premiere League is ticked off at YouTube for the usual copyright infringing stuff. They say the video-sharing site is violating the league's distribution rights of soccer matches, and have set up a website to encourage other copyright holders to join their suit against YouTube's parent company Google.

As for Thailand, they're upset about video clips that made fun of the country's king. Thailand banned access to YouTube, and the site eventually agreed to block pages with the offensive videos from Thai users. While it seemed like that would be the end of the story, a Thai official now says the country plans to file a suit against Google.

Maybe this wasn't the best time for Google to start paying independent video producers. They might need to save the money.

(S18E16)I was sick, that's why this review is late. Onward:

I may be a Simpsons apologist, but that doesn't mean I don't understand where people are coming from when they say the show isn't what it used to be. Even those like myself who defend the series for still being one of the smartest and funniest shows on television can still recognize a lesser episode, and this episode was certainly not the best one of the season.

According to a press release from the BBC, this coming Saturday's episode of Doctor Who could end up being postponed because of live coverage of the FA Cup football (soccer) semi-final encounter between Watford and Manchester United on BBC One.

The match is scheduled to finish in regulation time just before Doctor Who is scheduled to start on BBC One, but if extra-time and penalties (aka over-time and a penalty-kick shoot-out) ensue, the third episode of the new series will be held over for a week, throwing out the BBC's schedules for BBC One and BBC Three.

However, based on Man United's 7-1 thrashing of AS Roma in the Champions League last night at Old Trafford (8-3 on aggregate), and the fact that Watford have only won a single match from their last four, it's highly unlikely that The Doctor and Martha will be replaced by Wayne Rooney and Ronaldo.

Victoria Beckham is funny? This London newspaper is confirming rumors that Victoria (perhaps better known to Americans as Posh Spice) has signed a deal to star in her own reality show for NBC. It'll be all about her move from Europe to the United States, as her husband, soccer star David Beckham, starts up with the Los Angeles Galaxy. Her manager, Simon Fuller, tells the press that it's a tongue-in-cheek show because, hey, "She's a funny lady".

Now, I don't know if you look at People magazine's Star Tracks every day like I do, but "fun" would probably be the last word I would use to describe Victoria Beckham. First of all, she never smiles. She also appears extremely uptight and full of herself (more than your typical celebrity). Maybe the ice-cold stares are a mask for a woman with a very dry wit. Her manager says it's a great opportunity for people to discover her personality. I have to admit that I am intrigued because I was pretty positive she was a robot.

Does anybody want to watch this?

What would make the Beckhams feel more like Americans? Their own reality TV show, of course! Fox has reportedly offered David and Victoria Beckham their own reality show about their move to America (David will play soccer for the Los Angeles Galaxy).

Are the Beckhams above that kind of thing? Posh seems like she's a tad bit on the snooty side and also seems like she cannot function like a normal human being. She's always dressed to the nines and never, ever smiles. I'm not sure if she can even speak... or think.

One reason they may do it, according to The Sun, is to make them more famous over here. In Europe, they're practically royalty but Americans don't care much for soccer or stuck-up former Spice Girls. Still, I'd like to know what it is Victoria Beckham does all day.

[Via TV Tattle]

The bitchy, back-stabbing, coke-snorting characters on BBC's Footballers' Wives are coming to America. ABC has given the greenlight to the pilot for the Americanized version of the British soap drama. Instead of soccer wives, the American version will be NFL wives (natch). The BBC series chronicled how womens' lives changed when they married soccer superstars. Sounds like a companion to Desperate Housewives? The original series ran for five seasons and it is currently airing on BBC America at 10 pm on Sundays.

The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Bryan Singer may direct the pilot. In case that name doesn't ring a bell, he's the director behind the first two X-Men movies and last summer's Superman Returns.

Yesterday I listed the best sports to watch on television. Here's my list for the worst.

1. Fishing: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

If I were in charge of an American television network, I would be brainstorming ways to get Americans excited about soccer. The ratings for World Cup are out of this world. The average television audience, worldwide, for the month-long tournament was 93 million viewers for each match. 93 MILLION. And more than 5.6 BILLION (yes, that's a 'B') watched matches live in 54 global markets. The final match between Italy and France garnered an estimated 284 million viewers.

Reuters compares those numbers to America's biggest sporting event, the Super Bowl, and determines that World Cup numbers are equivalent to 64 Super Bowls. Mama mia!

Drew Carey is hosting a new show on The Travel Channel called Drew Carey's Sporting Adventures. The first episode aired last month (did anybody see it?). The hook for the show is that the comedian travels the world to teach us about international sports, beer and fight songs. It also looks like he gained back that weight he lost.

After seeing a promo for the show, I went to the Travel Channel's fan website to learn more about it. I discovered links to video, blogs and photos but none of them actually feature Drew Carey. The blog is from one of the producers and the behind-the-scenes video is voiced and edited by a cameraman. WTF? Where's Drew? Phoning it in. That's where he is.