TVSquad

I was reading Brad's post about bad superhero shows, and the site he linked to picked the Cathy Lee Crosby version of Wonder Woman, which I think is silly. It was much better than the Lynda Carter version and was smart enough to use an instrumental theme song, not one with lyrics. When you try to put lyrics to a superhero show theme song, the results are usually very bad.

Here are my choices for five horrible lyrics from TV theme songs. I'm not saying these are the worst. Maybe this could be a regular feature. There are so many to choose from, but these really stand out. (I did a similar post a couple of years ago, but it was strictly bizarre lyrics, not necessarily "bad" ones. The list needs to be updated, especially since I didn't include the number one choice.)

Lists are fun, aren't they? They put everything in perspective, they're easy to navigate, and they spark debate. But sometimes a list has entries in it that just make you scratch your head and wonder, do they really think that or are they just trying to be provocative?

The Chicago Tribune lists their picks for the 25 worst shows of all-time. Many of the usual suspects are here: Pink Lady and Jeff, BJ and the Bear, Manimal, and Small Wonder - but then they go completely off the rails and lists The 100 Lives of Blackjack Savage! If you don't remember this NBC show (it lasted 8 episodes in 1991), it was about a billionaire (Daniel Hugh-Kelly), accused of embezzlement, who escapes to an island, who gets involved with a ghost and has to save 100 lives. This was a really fun show and doesn't deserve to be on any "worst" list.

I spent about 15 minutes last night reading a ridiculously detailed summary of the 8(!?) separate timelines that spring into and out of existence throughout the course of the three Back To The Future movies. It just so happened that during my study of "timeline 1985(a)" that my wife happened into my office to ask me what I was up to. When I told her, she sorta sadly shook her head and left muttering something about me "having no life."

Okay, I admit, trolling Wikipedia for the latest breakdown of a 19-year-old movie franchise ain't exactly what Henry David Thoreau meant when he spoke about "sucking the marrow out of life", but there's at least one person in the world who has even less of a life than I do: the guy who wrote the friggin' article in the first place.

And you know what? Thank God for that guy...

Technically, this show may not have been short-lived enough. Small Wonder ran for four seasons - from '85 to '89 - in syndication. Whenever I am baffled by the popularity of tween vehicles like The Disney Channel's Hannah Montana, I just think of the inexplicably high ratings little robot Vicki got in her first year and the solid following that held on until the show's demise.

The show's conceit involved a robotics firm engineer designing an AI cast-off from Annie to come live with his family. The robot was a "Voice Input Child Indenticant." VICI. Vicki. You get it. The Lawson family had quite a time trying to keep the monotoned Vicki's origins a secret from those pesky Brindles next door. They couldn't possibly destroy the adorable bundle of bolts that Dad had so lovingly (and sorta creepily if you think about it) put together and kept at home long past her beta-testing date.

They are programmed to serve man, but only if they aren't programmed to kill man. They clean our homes, pilot our spacecraft, and battle our aliens. Today we honor that metal pal of ours, the robot. Here' s a few of my faves from television, share a few of your own in the comments:

Crow T. Robot: This robot, like his fellow automatons on Mystery Science Theater 3000, was created by original host Joel Hodgson ("Joel Robinson" on the series) using random objects. Crow consisted of bowling pin, a soapdish, lamp parts, and a lacrosse mask. He also penned the lovely holiday ditty, "(Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas," which I personally like to sing every year, even if my family insists on "O Holy Night."