(S03E06) "L.A. is no place to raise a daughter...or a dad." - Hank to Karen
If I ever procreate and God curses me by turning said offspring into a female teenager, the last place I would raise her is Los Angeles. In fact, I would get as far away from that cesspool of pretentiousness and greed as possible; its literal polar opposite, in fact. That's right, I'd actually raise her in the Indian Ocean.
The idea had always been hidden in the back of my brain, but it was yanked into my consciousness by Becca and her snooty, drugged-up pal Chelsea. Both of them are really starting to piss me off. They are vapid, whiny and annoying. In other words, they are perfect Californians.
(S04E06) "We both have skeletons, which means we both get a closet to keep them in." - Dexter on him and Arthur Mitchell, the Trinity Killer
Now that Dexter and his faithful followers have discovered Trinity's true identity as a family raising, student teaching, hymn congregation leading all around nice guy, it's made him twice as creepy. The fact that he can turn such a blind eye towards causing so much painful mayhem and in the blink of that eye pretend that everything is all rainbows and jellybeans twists my spine into a monkey fist. John Lithgow has not only reached into the bloody depths of this depraved character, but he's done a marvelous job of walking around in his skin, both figuratively and (I sure hope not) literally.
Now that Dexter is on the hunt, he seems more reserved, held back and less willing to pounce on his weakened prey. I'm sure part of him feels the need to put this man out of our misery and avenge the attack on his sister, but now he sees him as a mentor, a role model, a zen-like Yoda who can teach him how to strengthen his mask while he's doing the bidding of his "Dark Passenger." But will this moment of philosophy for madmen drag things down to a screeching halt?
(S03E05) - "Once upon a time's gotta count for something." - Zloz to Hank
Ah, the old friend from back home trick. It's been done so many times before in television. Remember when Rob's old Army buddy came to town in that one episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show or that one time when Don Rickles met up with his old pal Maxwell Smart on Get Smart? Those were some good times.
Imagine those episodes with a lot of hookers and copious amounts of beer, whiskey and vodka. Now they are twice as better, even if the hangover isn't as warm and friendly.
Zloz's one episode appearance felt like the makings of another "Guys Gone Wild" episode where the boys do some drinking, make with the smoking and then get into some fighting, but it turned into something much deeper and helped you appreciate the characters more for what they are. The ride was fun, even if you didn't really want to get back in line for it.
(S04E05) - "If anyone has ever deserved to be on your table, it's this son of a bitch." - Harry to Dexter
Shows like Dexter are like Heinz Ketchup, good things come to those who wait.
The last few episodes, well, weren't the best of the season, maybe even of the series. They interspersed bits and pieces of the Trinity Killer's true identity with a bunch of dry and pointless plots surrounding the rest of the characters from Batista and Laguerta's closed door relationship to Quinn's "back door" policy with his nosy reporter girlfriend (not that kind sickos).
But it's finally starting to pay off with this week's episode. Some of those dull plotlines have brought together what appear to be some much needed closure and we finally learn another piece of the Trinity Killer's picture and it's starting to look like a Normal Rockwell as opposed to a blood-spattered Jackson Pollock.
A recent episode of Showtime's Dexter titled "Blinded By the Light" was probably one of the weakest episodes in recent memory, but one moment saved it from becoming a total yawn-fest: Masuka's bad ass truck.
For those who don't know the backstory, Dexter got in a very serious accident while driving home from a recent kill and fell asleep behind the wheel. He suffered a concussion and doctor's orders prevented him from driving. So one night, Masuka drives our boy home in the biggest, most bad ass 4-by-4 with lighting painted down the sides, suspension that reached the sky and a stereo system that could let him listen to loud, obnoxious country music from space.
Sounds like Dexter isn't the only one trying to wear a "mask" to hide a deep, dark secret.
(S04E04) - "You're the one who wanted a challenge ... and now you've batted the beehive." - Harry to Dexter
That quote sums up this season in a blood spattered nutshell and really all of good television, for that matter. How do you reinvent a show that works without completely reinventing the wheel on which it got there?
In Dexter's case, it's giving America's most squeezably soft serial killer an opponent truly worthy of his skills and talent without boring the audience or completely overpowering or outing him. In other words, keep the shark in the cage so you don't even have the inkling of an opportunity to jump over it.
(S03E04) - "You once spent an entire class ranting about how much you hate Coldplay. Something tells me you could care less about what's frowned upon." - Jackie to Hank
Hank is normally the kind of guy most average heterosexual males would form mobs against, complete with rows of flaming torches and pitchforks (used both as weapons and Freudian references to using one's phallus as a weapon).
Still, he's become the most likable monkey in the Californication barrel. And it's not because he's living a life that would make most Arabian princes jealous. It's because there is a method to his manliness tendencies. He's vulnerable and sees those vulnerabilities in people around him, especially those of the opposite sex with genes that get saved in the secret cabinet in most high priced fertility clinics.
One of the joys in reviewing the new season of Showtime's Dexter has been in the preparation. I did just re-watched the previous season. I watched all the other seasons, read every interview I could find and even dove into a couple of reviews, both good and bad. I even got an advanced copy of the Dexter video game for the iPhone.
But while watching that iconic opening of Dexter's mourning routine, I noticed the credit to Jeff Lindsay, the author of the first Dexter novel Darkly Dreaming Dexter on which the whole show is based. I picked it up in the library and even though I knew most of what happened from the show's first season, it was still a very enjoyable read. It was dark, funny, foreboding and every other adjective you would expect to hear from a review of a great mystery novel.
The best part is that even if you watch the show, you can still enjoy the books since they take very different paths that still provide plenty of good twists and turns. Any Dexter fan would enjoy them.
For some reason, Showtime's original series have been attempting to reference every major song on the Billboard '70s and '80s rock chart in their episode titles. Last night's Dexter titled "Blinded by the Light" kept sticking in my head and then I remembered why.
Just as the Kids in the Hall were coming to a close in Canada, Lorne Michaels brought a lesser known comedy troupe called The Vacant Lot to the CBC and Comedy Central. It only lasted one season, but one of their very funny inaugural sketches "Blinded by the Light" got stuck in my brain. Thankfully YouTube is required to save every memory ever recorded, and that includes the Vacant Lot's sketches. Enjoy.
(S03E03) - "Don't put Daddy in a corner." - Hank to his daughter, Becca
Something spectacular happened on last Sunday's episode of Californication, something I've been hoping and waiting to see from a big-budget television show ever since I was old enough to realize what life was worth living for, what makes television worth watching.
Jackie showed us her boobies!
That being said, there was much more to the most recent saga of Hank Moody and company worth mentioning, and Lord knows I could spend a whole review on Eva Amurri's "revealing" opening scene of Hank imaging his star pupil at her night job. Hell, if Joel would let me do a list of TV's best racks, I'd put Jackie's on the number one and two spots, left and right respectively. I have my reasons.
(S0403) - "This neighborhood's going to kill me." - Dexter
Dexter's move to the suburbs seemed like a perfect way to keep Dexter's mask, but it's starting to become the perfect way to ruin an otherwise decent episode.
Rita and the kids have always been part of his plan to keep his true feelings hidden from the universe, even if he has more than a few shimmers of love for his new family. Moving to the suburbs was just part of the plan and a good move for the script, especially if one of his future prey includes a homeowners' association president who chastises tenants for keeping their lawns higher than three-fourths of an inch.
But now that he's in the thick of deranged suburbia and trying to keep his sane face in front of a whole neighborhood who always have their eyes peering into every open window, it just feels like a distraction from the truly interesting relationship that Dexter may or may not have with the Trinity Killer.
Paul Provenza is what comics would call a "comic's comic," so he's a perfect pick for Showtime's new comedian chat show.
The comedian and film director will host a new Showtime show next year called Behind the Green Room Door. It's a talk show featuring a rotating panel of comics having the kinds of hardcore conversations that can only be heard in dressing rooms and empty comedy club bars.
And if you've never been to a comedy club, then you can get an idea of the conversation when you realize Provenza directed the acclaimed comedy documentary The Aristocrats. And if you've never heard of The Aristocrats and you're sensitive to foul language, you might want to see if your DVR comes with ear plugs and a soul scraper.
(S0402) - "You've got a family to support and people to dismember. You're spinning too many plates, Dexter." - Harry Morgan
One of the most interesting reasons to watch shows like Dexter are the ways the characters manage to wiggle their way out of complete destruction after pushing more than their fair share of luck.
But unlike shows like The Shield or The Sopranos where most of the luck pushing is done by the main character, the people behind Dexter like to spread the carelessness around. Just about everyone in this twisted tale has some skeletons in their closets, both figurative and possibly literal.
(S03E02) - "All work and no ass play makes Chuck a dull boy." Sue Collini to Charlie Runkle
A show like Californication might seem like just another rude, crass and completely tasteless sitcom that gets away with speaking Kinsey from cover to cover because it's on pay cable.
But if you actually sit down and watch the damn thing, you'll realize it's actually much deeper and more emotional than that, or at least as deep as a group of flesh lusting horndogs can go ... and I do mean "emotionally" deep, sickos.
Both Dexter and Californication scored some huge opening numbers last Sunday with Dexter setting a new opening record for the cable network.
More than 1.5 million sets of eyeballs tuned to the season four opener for Dexter and 821,000 stayed to watch the opener for Californication. That's 3 million single eyeballs for Dexter and more than 1.6 million for Californication.
(S03E04) - "You once spent an entire class ranting about how much you hate Coldplay. Something tells me you could care less about what's frowned upon." - Jackie to Hank
One of the joys in reviewing the new season of Showtime's Dexter has been in the preparation. I did just re-watched the previous season. I watched all the other seasons, read every interview I could find and even dove into a couple of reviews, both good and bad. I even got an advanced copy of the 
Paul Provenza is what comics would call a "comic's comic," so he's a perfect pick for Showtime's new comedian chat show. 
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