TVSquad

(S01E12) Not bad. Not bad at all. Actually, it's unfortunate. Last week was a great episode and so was this one. Now the finale is next week. Why do shows always seem to get better when there's fewer episodes left?

Lots of stuff going on, especially the leak of the Julia/Johnny sex tape. It was bound to happen, but I truly didn't see it turning out the way it did. I suppose all signs pointed to Julia being behind the leak. When I first considered that it could have been her, it felt too convenient and I let the idea pass. Had me fooled.

You know, as much as I shouldn't write about the seemingly disgusting post-Screech life of Dustin Diamond, every little sordid detail that comes out demands that I say something about it, if only to point out all the unintentional comedy bubbling just under the surface.

Today, Rush & Molloy of the New York Daily News, who broke the story about a leaked sex tape featuring Diamond, interviewed David Hans Schmidt, who brokered the deal to distribute the video. Schmidt is saying that Diamond is in on the deal -- he even produces a document with his signature -- and is angry that the ex-child star is telling people otherwise. He also doubts that people see all of Diamond in the video. ""I have reason to believe that is not Dustin's [manhood] in the movie," he told the gossips. Heh. "[Manhood]." I wonder what word he actually used? I bet it wasn't "Peepee" or "Weiner". If anyone wants to guess, you can do so in the comments.

[via Pop Candy]

Whether you're a Christian or, like me, belong to a secret church that worships elves, you gotta love the holiday season. This year you can make the season even brighter for someone by giving them what will probably be the most popular gift this year next to the new Play With Me For A Week Then Throw Me In The Closet And Never Think About Me Again Elmo: Dustin Diamond's four year old sex tape. Who among us hasn't wished upon a star for our own copy of Screech doing the nasty with a strange woman? I'm going to wait for the enhanced DVD version with audio commentary from Francis Ford Coppola, but if you just can't wait, porn company Red Light District, the same company that released Paris Hilton's infamous sex tape, will be releasing the video online and in stores. If I were you I'd grab my sleeping bag and grab a spot in line now.

Dustin Diamond has been in the "fringe pop culture" news a lot lately, hasn't he? First, he begged for money to save his house, then he got mugged. Now, the man best known for playing Saved By The Bell's nerdy Screech has reached the pinnacle of Z-level celebdom: he's got his very own sex tape.

According to New York Daily News gossip mongers Rush & Molloy, there's a tape floating around where Diamond is en fuego with not one, but two young women, and there's some interesting action going on. How interesting? Let's just say that this is the first time I've seen the term "Dirty Sanchez" printed in a major metropolitan newspaper.

The owners of the videotape are shopping it around to distributors. Diamond's manager was nonplussed by the news: "Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings," he told the News.

[via Pop Candy]

First of all, she's getting married to Kid Rock. The couple had been engaged once before, but apparently the on and off romance is finally on for good. Also, according to this CBS article, "Anderson was married to Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee on Feb. 19, 1995, and divorced Feb. 28, 1988." To those who doubt the intelligence of our lady Pammy, I ask you just how it was she was able to go back in time and divorce someone seven years before she even married them. Even Stephen Hawking hasn't been able to accomplish that.

Speaking of Tommy Lee, he refuses to sign copes of the sex tape he and Anderson made, because he's still upset about the fact that they were leaked. He says, "everybody assumes that it didn't really get stolen, that we put it out and made millions of dollars, like retarded geniuses. Who would do that?" Frankly, I think Lee is exaggerating just a tad, because the last I checked retarded genius don't make nearly that much money. I hired one for my nephew's birthday party, and it only cost me about fifty bucks for three hours, plus tips.

Lastly, Pam will be donning her red swimsuit once again for a cameo role in the upcoming Baywatch movie, which is being produced by horror director Eli Roth for some reason.