TVSquad

Boy, what a mess! Unless you live out in a tar shack in the middle of Montana (writing your manifesto, obviously) you know that the United States, nay, the world, is facing one of the worst economic crises in this modern time. Stocks are plummeting, financial institutions are folding, credit is tighter than Miley Cyrus' chastity belt. People are pulling out their money left and right, trying to find a safe place to invest until all of the craziness dies down.

That, of course, is where we come in. Sure, first and foremost we are a website that features information on television. But, we also have access to some of the greatest financial gurus that were ever created by television writers. To assist you in the right investment choices, we have compiled a list of those we feel you could trust to invest your remaining funds in a wise manner. Also listed, as a public service, are those who you shouldn't consider giving a penny to during the harshest economic times.

So, before your 401(k) loses another percentage point, here are your choices.

A day hasn't gone by where we haven't received some sort of tip or email asking us, the TV Squad, how to get on [insert reality show here]. Unfortunately no, Simon Cowell does not work for us, and Donald Trump isn't my BFF, so we really can't help all that much.

The folks at RealityWanted.com often send us a list of new and existing reality shows that are looking for new, er, talent, and they've given us permission to make mention of them here. We'll try to make this a regular feature as often as we get a new list.

This time we have Rock of Love, Family Court and a lot of new shows.

A day hasn't gone by where we haven't received some sort of tip or email asking us, the TV Squad, how to get on [insert reality show here]. Unfortunately no, Simon Cowell does not work for us, and Donald Trump isn't my BFF, so we really can't help all that much.

The folks at RealityWanted.com often send us a list of new and existing reality shows that are looking for new, er, talent, and they've given us permission to make mention of them here. We'll try to make this a regular feature as often as we get a new list.

This time we have Big Brother, The Biggest Loser, I'm With the Band and other new shows.

Unlike Adam, who first reported back in April that Sex and the City was heading to the bigscreen, I have no opinion about the former HBO comedy. I didn't watch the original run on HBO (except the very last episode) and never watch an episode of the watered-down, syndicated version. I also would not like to have children ice skate across my face. Rollerblade across it? Fine. Just not ice skates. Those things hurt!

My non-opinion doesn't stop me from reporting that Chris Noth will be reprising his role as the dashingly rich Mr. Big in the movie adaption of the show.

Fox has given a script order to a new sitcom from the Farrelly brothers, writers Chris Pappas and Mike Bernier and producer Brad Johnson. Called The Rules for Starting Over, the sitcom focuses on a thirty-something guy who is entering the dating scene after a divorce. He's got a bunch of male buddies - also divorced. All of them learning that, yes, the rules of dating in your 30s are much different than the rules of dating in your 20s.

Let's muse for a moment on just how different. There's the whole biological clock thing you've got to look out for in your 30s. People are more likely to have entered the stage of dating where they're "shopping for a life partner" rather than just having a good time. There's less sloppy "hooking up" and, I'm guessing, you're less likely to stumble your way into a threesome. Those things require planning when you're not in college or the Real World house. The internet may play a bigger part in your dating life than it ever has. If you "let yourself go" during your marriage, than you've got to lower your superficiality standards or whip yourself back into marketable shape. Wow, is there anything good about dating in your 30s? Sex in the City made it look so kinky.

Related: Farrelly brothers bringing I'm with Stupid to America

Former Sex in the City and Northern Exposure heartthrob John Corbett is joining the cast of Showtime's comedy pilot Manchild.

Based on the BBC series of the same name, the show focuses on four guy friends experiencing the mid-life crisis rite of passage that, for better or worse, we'll all be going through some day if we haven't already.

Corbett will be playing a former Deadhead pot smoker who has made an art form out of sabotaging his own life.

You can check out Corbett's own mid-life, wish-fulfillment strategy via his country music outing with the John Corbett Band.

Singer Alanis Morissette has signed on to guest star in three episodes of the FX drama Nip/Tuck. During her run she will play the lesbian girlfriend of Dr. Liz Cruz (Roma Maffia). The show itself, which recently kicked off its fourth season on FX, has already included guest stars Larry Hagman and Kathleen Turner into its story lines.

While now known primarily as a signer singer, Alanis is no stranger to television. Back in 2000 she guest-starred on HBO's Sex and the City where she shared an on-screen kiss with Sarah Jessica Parker during a game of spin the bottle. Recently she's been seen on American Dreams and Degrassi: The Next Generation.

And, of course, how can we forget that her career began on a little known show called You Can't Do That on Television, which was a staple on Nickelodeon for the longest time. I wonder if she got slimed at any time during her tenure on the show.

Related:
Rosie O'Donnell starring in a Nip/Tuck spin off?
Nip/Tuck lines up celebrity guests for next season

Every Tuesday here on TV Squad , we will highlight the week's TV-on-DVD releases. Some noteworthy releases today, February 7, 2006:

• Alleyn Mysteries -  Set 2
• The Batman - The Complete 1st Season
• Blue Collar TV - Season 1, Volume 2
• The Electric Company - Best Of
• Emergency! - Season 2
• Grounded for Life - Season 1
• Growing Pains - The Complete 1st Season
• Hearts Afire - Season 3
• The Lost World - Vol 01; Vol 02
• Moonlighting - Season 3
• One Step Beyond - One Step Beyond Collection
• Pet Alien - Vol 4: Spaced Out
• Poltergeist: The Legacy - The Complete 1st Season
• Sex and the City - Sex And The City Essentials: Breakups; Sex And The City Essentials: Lust; Sex And The City Essentials: Mr. Big; Sex And The City Essentials: Romance
• The Simpsons - Kiss & Tell
• Survivor: Pearl Islands - The Complete Season
• Teen Titans - The Complete 1st Season
• Touched by an Angel - The 3rd Season - Volume 1
• Wildfire - Season 1
• Wire in the Blood - The Complete 3rd Season