TVSquad

I don't get RTN (Retro Television Network) where I live. If you go to their web site and scroll down, you'll see that the network isn't in every state yet. But it's something I'd like to see on my local cable system.

RTN is a channel that shows a lot of old TV shows. It's sort of what TV Land used to be, a long time ago, before they started to get into reality shows, movies, and Extreme Makeover.

The channel is still at a time in their history where they have the freedom to not only air cult-yet-mainstream shows like the original Battlestar Galactica, The Incredible Hulk, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Leave It To Beaver, and Magnum, P.i., they're also airing such shows as Delvecchio (!), It Takes A Thief (!), Kate and Allie (!), the original 50s version of Mike Hammer (!), Run For Your Life (!), and The Bold Ones (!). As you can see, this is one eclectic network. They also have original programming such as talk shows, RTN Mystery Theater, and Offbeat Cinema. Robin Leach is going to host a show on the network, too.

Oh, boy! Another opportunity to watch the rich and famous doing rich-and-famous stuff! Well, you know what? I talk to enough celebs to know that most of them are a lot like us. Only with more money, more problems, and way less privacy.

But I digress ... The object of my thoughts is a new celebreality show from NBC and Granada America. Each episode of Celebrity Come Dine With Me (working title, subject to change) will feature a big star hosting a dinner party for four of their fabulous friends. At the end of the evening, the party will be judged by its presentation, food, and entertainment value.

The show is based on a format owned by Granada and has aired in 16 countries, including the U.K., where it's aired for four seasons since 2005. But most of those shows have featured non-famous contestants. What fun is that? It'd be like eating dinner at your neighbor's house.

Michael Jackson needs a career comeback in a big way. According to Page Six, Idol creator Simon Fuller may be just the man who can make that happen. Or at least Wacko Jacko hopes so.

Jackson reportedly has met several times with Fuller in Las Vegas to discuss his comeback strategy. Robin Leach called it a "perfect match" with "the world's biggest pop star being looked after by the most successful mogul manager in the world."

Because they lost their dignity long ago, the most popular "stars" from VH1's The Surreal Life are reuniting for a competition that will determine who is most famous. Hosted by Robin Leach, who also has no self respect, the contestants will compete in weekly single-elimination games that determine their level of fame. Games include "Paparazzi Hide-and-Seek", Scandal Video Film Festival", and "Hotel Room Trash-a-Thon". As is customary for The Surreal Life, all the contestants will live in the same house. Only, their success at the Fame Games will determine whether they live on the A-list side of the house where they eat gourmet meals and are pampered, or on the B-list side with a ping pong table and crackers.

Celebs signed up for The Surreal Life Fame Games are: Brigitte Nielsen, Chyna Doll, Vanilla Ice, Pepa, Emmanuel Lewis, C.C. DeVille, Ron Jeremy, Jordan Knight, Verne Troyer, Andrea Lowell and Tracy Bingham. The new season begins January 7 at 9 pm on VH1.