TVSquad

I went to Universal Studios in Hollywood on Saturday for the revealing of The Simpsons Ride. Celebs walked the "yellow" carpet. The mayor welcomed the crowds and led the countdown. A human cannonball was shot into the air. And a yellow sheet dropped to reveal a 32-foot Krusty the Clown face at the entrance to the attraction.

Despite the launch being for The Simpsons, there were hardly any members of the cast there on the yellow carpet. Kelsey Grammer (Sideshow Bob) was there along with creator Matt Groening and producer James L. Brooks but no other voice talents were anywhere to be found. See who I talked to and read more about the ride unveiling after the jump.

Okay, let's get this out of the way first. No, Heidi wasn't there. No, Spencer wasn't there. Yes, that's totally their style. And yes, I was kind of bummed out.

Speaking of bummed out, it was freezing in Beverly Hills last night. MTV rented the outside of this swanky mansion but here's the catch, nothing was going on inside. So, the press had to freeze for three hours while we waited to talk to the stars of The Hills. Also, the port-o-potties MTV set up for us were super classy. Come on! There had to be at least fifteen bathrooms in that house.

For what happened at the live red carpet event before the big season finale, read on past the jump. I got to talk to Chiara Kramer, "Lo" Bosworth, and Stephanie Pratt.

It's good to see that the Screen Actors Guild Awards got a waiver from the WGA. Where the Golden Globe Awards were reduced to an extended press conference type event and the Academy Awards might have some alternative plan in place, the SAG Awards are actually going to have stars and a red carpet and acceptance speeches. It might turn out to be the awards show to watch this year.

I'll be live blogging the awards tonight, starting at 7:30pm EST. That means I'll get a half hour's worth of the red carpet coverage. I could have started the blogging at 5pm, when E!'s red carpet coverage starts, but then I realized that three hours of red carpet blogging would be insane. I think a half hour on the carpet and two hours of show coverage will be plenty. The show airs at 8 on TNT and TBS.

Here's a list of the nominees.

Like I said yesterday, the press kits have started to come in to the TV Squad offices. Some of them are way cool, some are downright silly and some are nonexistent. Just last week I got one in from the TV Guide Channel for their upcoming red carpet coverage of the Emmy awards. OK, sounds reasonable, right?

When I opened the box and the hermetically sealed canister within, what I saw made me fear that I had just unleashed some unseen beast unto my unsuspecting family. As it turns out, only my dog was in danger.

Interesting post by Tom O'Neil over at his LA Times blog. O'Neil is the guy you see on many of the awards shows, especially the Emmys, giving his analysis and predictions. He worked with Joan and Melissa quite a bit, and knows why they were let go by the TV Guide Channel. And it didn't have anything to do with money.

The reason? Entourage (and not the HBO show). I guess the two women have too many people around them and it got to be more of a hassle than it was worth to the network.

O'Neil also says that Joan and Melissa are a lot nicer and more generous than they've been made out to be. He also reveals that several producers at the TV Guide Channel wish they had been kept on (the same with E! execs, because Star Jones drove them nuts on the red carpet). I'm sure we'll be seeing the two women again with another deal soon.

First they were kicked to the curb by E! Entertainment Television, and now the same thing has happened with the TV Guide Channel: Joan and Melissa Rivers have been let go by the network and replaced by Lisa Rinna, star of Dancing with the Stars and various soaps.

Joan has a lot to say about what happened, but is keeping quiet until a new deal is finalized, says her spokesperson.

I love the press release from TV Guide Channel President Ryan O'Hara. Let me translate his remarks:

That's Jessica Simpson? Yeah, she's still hot and all that, but do I imagine something or does something look off about her face? She doesn't look quite...real. Too much make-up, maybe? I don't know, maybe high-def isn't great for celebs.

So Cheesy Bites are back. I didn't even know they had gone away. But it looks like everyone is crazy for them, so there must be something to them, right? Jessica walks the red carpet and seems really happy that the Cheesy Bites are back at Pizza Hut.

Oh, by the way, welcome to hour Super Bowl ad coverage. Since everything in this game is sponsored, from the pre-game to the player intros to the kick-off, I'd like to announce that the typing I'm doing is brought to you by the Sam Adams Beer I'm drinking right now.

This seems like an unlikely pairing. Melissa Rivers has signed on to work the "yellow carpet" at a big NASCAR bash in New York City on Friday night for SPEED TV. (Why is everything in all caps for this sport?) Melissa will be interviewing NASCAR racers and their wives as they arrive at the Waldorf-Astoria for the NASCAR Nextel Cup Banquet.

I can see it now:

Melissa Rivers: "Who are you wearing?"
Nascar driver: "Uhhh... (reading the ads on his uniform) Viagra, Exxon, Tide..."

Wouldn't it be great if Melissa turned out to be a huge fan of NASCAR? She could talk shop about "aero pushing" and "dirty air" (yes, I did consult a NASCAR glossary for those terms). Check out Melissa Rivers starting at 7 pm Friday night on SPEED TV-- she'll either be making a fool of herself or surprising us all.

Paris' sister Nicole has made a deal with E! Television to have the E! news ticker run inside all of the elevators at her Miami and Chicago hotels. If that wasn't enough, E! Live From The Red Carpet will continuously run on video screens in the hotel's clubs, and every computer in the hotel will have E! Online as their home page.

Sure, becaue heaven forbid we can go on vacation and have just one moment's rest from the massive infotainment machine that invades our skulls.

In related news, TV Guide Channel will have Joan Rivers come to your home and give you a massage and a happy ending.

Fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi sparked a lot of discussion following his behavior on the red carpet last week while co-hosting the Golden Globes arrival show for E! Some outrageous moments include grabbing Scarlett Johansson's breast, looking down Teri Hatcher's dress, questioning Eva Longoria about her pubic hair, and referring to Charlize Theron's character in Monster as a "scary dyke with bad teeth." Yes, he was totally sexually harassing these women. Although none of those actresses have filed any complaints about their treatment, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is skeptical about whether Mizrahi should be working the red carpet during the Oscars. A spokesman for the Academy said they expect that Mizrahi won't behave like that on their red carpet and, if he does, "I cannot predict what we would do afterwards."

Did anyone watch the E! preshow? Was it offensive? I didn't see it, but this totally makes me want to watch the Oscars preshow in March. I'm hoping he takes Russell Crowe down a notch or two.

Ryan Seacrest's plan for world domination is nearly complete. He just signed a deal to executive produce and host E!'s Live from the Red Carpet, starting with the Golden Globes on January 16. He'll be the main host with roaming reporters Isaac Mizrahi and Giuliana DePandi actually down on the red carpet as celebrities start to arrive. But wait! There's more. In March, Seacrest will also become managing editor and co-anchor of E! News, a daily celebrity newscast on the entertainment channel currently hosted by Giuliana DePandi. As part of the deal, Seacrest will also produce and host celebrity interviews for E!. All of this is in addition to his hosting duties for American Idol and his M-F job as a DJ at a Los Angeles radio station and also as the host of American Top 40 radio show. Do you think he has it in his contract that he gets to say "Seacrest Out" at the end of each broadcast? Ah, well. One Ryan Seacrest is a heck of a lot better than Star Jones, or Joan and Melissa Rivers.