TVSquad

Years ago it was Seinfeld ruling the quotable roost in television sitcom world. You know you'll never forget "close talkers" or the meaning of "spongeworthy." But for the first time since then, I've found a show I truly think is quoteworthy. Its closet competitor lines-wise is How I Met Your Mother which follows it on Monday night. But The Big Bang Theory rules over that show these days for me.

Some of Sheldon's (played stupendously by Jim Parsons) lines are a bit convoluted to remember and I really am not Louis (oops!) Bill Nye, the Science Guy. However, overall the show's writers deserve kudos for a job well done. Read on past the jump for some of the best lines I've found from the show.

The X-Files was a one-of-a-kind, groundbreaking show. It took the typical FBI detective show and spun it, but good. Add some aliens and government conspiracy and you've done one better than a weekly FBI caper.

And the extraterrestrial and supernatural make for some good quotes, starting with the pilot, when Scully refers to Mulder by his nickname from the academy: "Spooky Mulder."

Or how about Mulder's understatement of the millennium: " ... in most of my work, the laws of physics rarely seems to apply."

One of the best things about Norm's character on Cheers is that he made no pretentions about who he was. Norm Peterson liked drinking beer, was a big man who needed a lot of beer, liked to be in a bar with beer, liked to eat along with his beer... you see where I'm going with this?

Norm's insatiable love of beer came with a treasure trove of beer quotes, usually quips back to the bartender -- be it Sam, Coach, or Woody -- when asked what he'd like.

A few classics:

• "Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."

• Sam: Beer, Norm?
  Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.

• Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
  Norm: Going down?

• "What's the story, Norm?"
  "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

Yeah, that's not enough for me, either. It's a good thing Norm's famous quotes, the best Norm quotes, are all over the internet.

All-in-all, Angel was a good series, even though it kept reinventing itself each season. The set changes (Angel's original digs, the hotel, Wolfram and Hart), the cast changes, and the character changes (Fred to Ilyria) threw off my equilibrium, sometimes leaving me longing for the security of the previous season.

One of the hardest changes for me to take was the death of Doyle, who added so much heart and humor to season one. Even sadder was that the actor who played Doyle, Glenn Quinn, went on to die a tragic death in 2002.

You know you love Buffy, but could you beat me in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer trivia contest? Nope, this is not a challenge, but I did challenge myself by taking some of the online trivia quizzes.

There are scads of Buffy and Angel trivia quizzes online, some totally lame, others a fun romp down Nostalgia Lane, still others so bizarre and obscure that you wonder about the mental health of the creators. I took 'em, I rated 'em, and now I'm sharing my thoughts with you.

Ultimate Buffy Trivia on Cool Quiz (1/5)
My apologies to Josh Spears, but this quiz was not very challenging. I got all of the questions right, as would just about any fair-weather fan (of which I am not!). It is a fun quiz to take if you love Oz, because many of the questions are about him, but it runs extremely slow and is relatively painful overall.

OK, I think I have just about exhausted all of my press tour material. But I got a few quotes here and there which I really wanted to include somewhere, even though they weren't enough to merit their own posts.

So, here are five random quotes from my week in Pasadena, presented for your amusement:

1. "Yes. It's called 25. It's like 24, except there's one more." - Chris Rock, when a reporter asked him if he was working on a new show. One of the other reporters actually responded to this by asking, "Are you serious?"

While 24 fans ponder the various ways in which Jack Bauer will escape from his evil brother's gun-toting henchmen, here are four moments of note from hour six (*warning, spoilers from this week's episode*):

Quote of note: "Do you want to get into the ring with me? . . . You've got skeletons in your closet," said outgoing presidential aide Karen Hayes to the conniving presidential chief of staff, Tom Lennox. Her threat proved to be empty, at least for now. If it remains empty by the end of the season, I'll be sorely disappointed. I'm looking forward to some really good Lennox skeletons.

A few months ago, I bemoaned the fact that not one Squadder was included in Broadcasting & Cable magazine's fall critics poll. I mean, we're critics, sort of; I just thought that the survey was incomplete without at least some opinions from everyone's favorite TV blog.

Well, anyway, now we're on B&C's radar, because they sent us a ballot for their year-end poll. In all, 67 critics were polled on what they thought was the best and worst on television in 2006. The Wire was voted Best Show and Best Drama, while The Office was voted Best Comedy. You can see the results here. They even published a few choice quotes in their "BC Beat" blog, including not one, but two quotes from Squadders (Anna and yours truly). Now, that's more like it!

In case you missed Julia's earlier post about it, TV Land's countdown of the one hundred greatest quotes and catchphrases kicks off a five-night run this evening at 10 pm (it will also air at 10 pm the following nights).

I like TV Land, I really do, and this is just another example of the network's dedication to light-hearted entertainment that's not meant to be analyzed too deeply. It's easy to find fault with the list and notice certain omissions, but what the heck, it's only television.

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the past two weeks from TV:

• "It's like Betty Crocker and Charles Manson had a love child, and he's cooking for me." -- Anthony Bourdain, guest judge on Top Chef
• "I got a better question for you. What is your sister's cell phone doing on my dead body?" -- Gibbs to McGee on NCIS
• "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it." -- Peter reading from a safe sex pamphlet on Family Guy
• "They shake their booties and my thingy gets excited!" -- The Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) freestyling on Saturday Night Live

Beginning on December 11th, TV Land will host a week-long tribute to over sixty years of television's greatest "quotes and catchphrases." That's five nights of talking head, clip show goodness covering cartoons, news programs, game shows, long-running series, commercials and historic live events.

If you want a sneak peak, you can look at the entire list online. The list is pretty wide-ranging and up-to-date. A few that made the grade - Jon Stewart's "Here it is, your moment of Zen." The Walton's "Good night, John Boy." The A-Team's "I love it when a plan comes together." Larry Sanders' "Hey now!" Not all the choices make sense. Paris Hilton's "that's hot" may not deserve a place on the same list as Edward R. Murrow's "good night, and good luck," but what are you gonna do? The American pop culture vernacular is a mysterious beast.

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• Call Girl: "A Cleveland what?"
  Roy: "Don't worry -- I'll talk you through it. And we've got a glass coffee table right here." - Prison Break
• "What's that smell? Smells like sweat and anger and shame." -- Stewie, to Brian after a failed breakup attempt on Family Guy
• "So... I almost get shot and you guys respond by doing a lot of math?" -- Oswalt to Charlie on Numb3rs
• "If you lose the big game, that boy is gonna die faster than Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays." -- Doctor, telling Stan if his team loses the hockey game it will kill their teammate with cancer, on South Park
• Booth: "God does not make mistakes."
  Angela: "I don't know - putting testicles on the outside doesn't seem like such a good idea." -- Booth and Angela, comparing a serial killer's motives to God's, on Bones.
• "Thirty-five years ago, he joined the Texas National Guard to stay out of Vietnam ... And now, he's going to Vietnam to stay out of Washington!" - Ted Koppel, regarding President Bush's upcoming visit to Vietnam, on The Daily Show.
  
• "I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue." -- Dean to the demon, on Supernatural
• "We both know that im a better liar than you are a cop." -- Sam to Woody, on Las Vegas

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Yes, I know, I'll get letters." -- Boston Legal's Alan Shore, after bashing Freedom of Religion during the closing arguments of a trial.
• "What are you, a Democrat?" -- Fellow officer to McNulty when McNulty allows Omar his one phone call while being arrested, on The Wire.
• "I'm not part of any organization that has initials." -- Evil Glasses-Guy to Officer Parkman, when accused of working for the FBI, or maybe the CIA on Heroes.
• "That guy from Labyrinth just turned into a bird!" -- Hank, after watching David Bowie fly away, on The Venture Bros.

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Somewhere in a parallel universe bizarro-Dick is being a total killjoy." -- Dick Casablancas to Veronica Mars, when she tells him she's rushing a sorority, on Veronica Mars.
• "When I was 23, I had a paper route." -- David Letterman, about Nikki Hilton opening up her own hotel.
• "This is macaroni and cheese. It's what American's eat when they want to commit suicide slowly." -- Eden on Heroes.
• "In the end, when everyone else in this unit is buried and be-shitted, this Detective Sargent will still be standing." -- Sgt Landsman explaining CYA to Kima Greggs on The Wire.
• "What? Haven't you ever seen a smoking dwarf before?" -- Attorney Bethany Horowitz on Boston Legal.

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "... Wanna go halvsies on a skin flick?" - Doc Venture, to Doctor Orpheus, right after apologizing for some homophobic remarks, on The Venture Bros.
• "How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sparing with the puppies?" - Robber of drug dealers, Omar, after having drugs surrendered over to him, unasked for and without a fight, on The Wire.
• "It's not perjury if you honestly don't remember." - Tommy Caffee's mentor, Judd, trying to get Tommy to give a self-serving deposition against his brother, on Brotherhood.
• "Do you ever get the feeling you were meant to do something extraordinary?"
  "I'm driving a cab, you may have noticed." - Peter and Mohinder, on Heroes.
  
• "Oh please, if there were new guys they'd have shown up in the season premiere." - Denny Crane to his new attorneys on Boston Legal.
• "Who do you think you're kidding? You and I both know you spent hours deliberating which dress in your closet best displayed that world-class cleavage of yours." - Christian, trying to seduce Michelle, on Nip/Tuck.