TVSquad

(S03E19) I've been noticing a pattern with shows that, because of their popularity and thus importance to the network, have to split their episodes into mini-seasons around sweeps. They tend to end each batch of episodes with a bang, spend the entire hiatus promising something huge when the new episodes start airing, and then give us a whole lotta nothin' when the new batch finally begins.

Tonight's Office suffered that same predictable letdown, but still found a whole bunch of enjoyable moments (mostly thanks to the supporting players).

Jason Wahler will spend the next two months in jail. No, you can't lock him up for simply being an idiot. He actually had to do something, like punch a city employee and a tow truck driver. Last year, the 20-year old co-star of The Hills and Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County blew his top when a tow truck was blocking the road as the driver tried to move an illegally parked car. Wahler reportedly got out of his vehicle and yelled racial slurs at the city worker and tow truck driver (both of them black) and then actually punched them both before being subdued. Blood-alcohol tests show Wahler's level was .22.

On top of his two months in jail, pretty boy will also have to attend a one-day program at the Museum of Intolerance. The judge was probably pretty strict with the guy because he was recently arrested in North Carolina for underage drinking and resisting arrest.

Sounds like a great role model for the impressionable MTV crowd.

I'd like to say I knew it all along, but I was initially duped by Pauly Shore's staged video that showed him getting punched by a heckler in Odessa, Texas. Shore now has a video on his MySpace page (via Best Week Ever) that shows him coaching the crowd and his fake attacker before his act, telling everyone to film it and then put it on the internet.

Shore later said he wanted the video to make fun of the whole "viral video" fad and to serve as a lesson to those who take things at face value. Most people still saw it as a cheap stunt on the part of someone who's been out of the spotlight for many years, but I still think Shore has a good point. Besides, it's not like he's the first one to do this.

While I pretty much consider Shanna Moakler as useless as Paris Hilton, I suddenly have a tiny bit of respect for the woman. She punched Paris Hilton in the face! That's something I think many of us would like to do. Shanna has a personal reason for it though, Paris has been photographed making out with Shanna's estranged husband, Travis Barker. The couple recently split after their MTV reality show, The Barkers, came to an end. Travis Barker is the former drummer for Blink 182 and Shanna is a former Miss USA.

Here's how it went down: Shanna says she was roughed-up by another useless slob and constant Hilton companion, Stavros Niarchos. She filed a police report saying Niarchos shoved her, poured a drink on her and pushed her down the stairs at a club. Hilton also filed a police report, saying that Shanna came into the club and-- unprovoked-- punched Paris in the jaw. Neither is confirming the other's report of the incident. I imagine both things happened and it started with Shanna punching Paris and Stavros defending Paris' honor. Ha, ha! Writing that made me giggle.

OK, I'm risking a comment assault on my inbox by posting this, but what the hell, I feel like taking some (calculated) risks today:

According to everyone's favorite column, Page Six in the New York Post, Bo Bice got into a drunken scrape with a fan the other night at a midtown Manhattan pub. But this wasn't just any fan, it was Glenn Parker, who at one time was an NFL offensive lineman (he played on my favorite team, the New York Giants, the last time they went to the Super Bowl).

The article states that Parker approached the Idol reject, asking him if he was indeed Bo Bice. Bice denied it; when Parker came back to Bo to apologize for bothering him, Bo started flailing his arms, grazing Parker under the chin with one swing. Instead of crushing him like a bug, Parker called for a bartender, who helped him throw the long-haired crooner out of the bar.

Parker needs to be commended for his restraint; at 6'5" and 300 pounds, he could have really gone to town on Bice. As for Bo... well... he should be grateful his face is still intact. The next time he grows beer muscles, he may not be so lucky.