TVSquad

While no deal has been reached just yet, a couple gossipy type sites are saying a top American cosmetics company is trying to woo Simon Cowell into launching his very own line of toiletries, including a perfume. This has apparently been verified by Cowell's publicist, so keep an eye out for various products with the name "Simon Cowell" on them designed to make you smell all pretty and stuff. I'm not sure exactly what products will be available if the deal goes through, but I assume they'll not only improve skin and hair, but also shatter your childhood dreams and viciously humiliate you as well. His publicist also says that a product with Cowell's name on it will generate a lot of interest, which I don't necessarily believe. If I need someone to tell me I'm singing Arthur's Theme off key he's the first man I'll turn to, but I don't have any desire to purchase face cream from him.

Like most of you, I have trouble getting through my day knowing I'll never have hair like Jessica Simpson. I've yet to come to terms with this, so most of my day is spent sobbing and pounding the floor screaming, "Why can't I have such gorgeous locks of blonde hair shimmering like spun gold in the moonlight? I would be the loveliest debutante at the ball, and all the rugged suitors would wish to dance with me and only me!" Then I put on eyeshadow and eat a box of Hostess Sno-Balls. It's a character flaw, admittedly, I'm trying to work through it.

Anyway, it turns out I'm not the only one pining for Jessica's locks. She plans to launch her own line of hair extensions this summer. You can get hair that matches her blonde locks, or if you'd rather have hair like her sister Ashlee, you can do that, too. In fact, there's "a rainbow of colors and styles" according to one source. The new line is called "Jessica Hair Extensions" and was created along with her hairstylist, Ken Paves.