TVSquad

A note to the people who put together these press kits: if you want to woo me, fill the kit with lots and lots of candy. I don't care if it has anything to do with the television program you're promoting or not. I want lots of damn chocolate, and I want it now. As you can see in the picture above, this press kit for the upcoming "Treehouse of Horror" episode of The Simpsons was stuffed with mini candy bars, Blow Pops and peanuts, all of which I scarfed down fairly quickly, growling under my breath like a starving dog protecting his food bowl.

FOX's animation-heavy Sunday lineup kicks off this Sunday starting with The Simpsons at 8, American Dad at 8:30, Family Guy at 9, and The War at Home at 9:30. That doesn't matter though, because we're not going to talk about those shows right now. Instead, let's dive into the nifty press pack FOX sent out to promote their returning Sunday shows. After the jump you'll see pictures of me enjoying all the cool free stuff. Please be aware that I suffer from a rare skin condition, and I'm only twenty-two inches tall. Okay, let's tear into this kit:

Ah, Brad Garrett finally returns to television after playing Ray Romano's secret transsexual lover on Everybody Loves Raymond for nine seasons (I never watched the show, so I'm just assuming). At any rate, he's back starring in 'til Death, a series about a couple that have been married for almost 9,000 days who get new neighbors, a young newlywed couple who have yet to realize just how trying a marriage can be once that initial spark dies down and reality sets in. The series debuts this evening at 8, but before you tune in, let's take a gander at all the cool stuff FOX included in its press kit for the show.

(S02E01) You're looking for a review of the second season premiere of Bones, aren't you? Perhaps you're interested in knowing if Emily Deschanel's acting skills have improved over the summer, or if David Boreanaz has gotten even hunkier. Well, don't worry, we'll be here next week at this time (or somewhere near this time) with ongoing reviews of the series.

In the meantime, you can read our early take on the official FOX preview screener of the season premiere as well as a review of the Bones press kit, which I wasn't too impressed with. By the way, on the subject of Deschanel's performance . . . from someone who didn't see an episode of the show last season she seems okay. However, you seasoned viewers may have another opinion.

Woo.

Even though FOX's Bones isn't a new show (its second season premiere airs this Wednesday at 8:00) I was expecting a bit more from the press kit. I mean the kit for FOX's Prison Break, which is also into its second season, came with a hooded sweatshirt and faux-newspaper detailing the characters and plot of the show. The least I expected from the Bones kit was maybe a mini-mangled body to put on my mantle, or a small reproduction of the holo-tank they use for their investigations. Alas, all I got was what you see in this picture . . . not even a folder or envelope for the materials!

Well, at least the show is good. Let's take a quick (and I mean QUICK) look at the paltry amount of material that this press kit provided.