TVSquad

Is a new HBO series going to show real sex on screen?

That's the buzz coming out of the summer Television Critics Association tour, which starts today. The new HBO series Tell Me You Love Me reportedly has male and female stars doing it for real, not just the usual "lovemaking" you see on television (even cable). Rob Owen over at post-gazette.com has seen the pilot and says it looks like it's real and not camera angles or special effects.

You know, we can snicker all we want at the allegations that Subway spokesman Jared Fogle spent his days at Indiana University running a successful porn rental business out of his apartment, but give the man credit for knowing his customer base and how to run a successful business. If there's one thing college males want as much as beer and weed, it's porn. Also, keep in mind this is pre-internet, so folks had to get their porno from somewhere. And let's not pretend, fellas, that none of us have ever seen a pornographic movie. I myself have a collection of over one hundred tapes. They're not video tapes, they're audio cassettes, and I listen to them while I'm jogging. I like to imagine it's how porno would have been done back in the RKO radio days.

So there you have it: before he became that fat guy who got kinda less fat by walking and eating Subway sandwiches, he had a lucrative career as a porn distributor. He's got business savvy, you gotta give him that.

Ben Franklin is renowned for inventing many things, but one invention he was never able to complete was "a special box in which moving pictures of men and women in various states of undress partaking in acts of carnality shall be viewed by men of loneliness and questionable bathing habits." Franklin dubbed it the "Porno Cube," but the invention was never meant to be because I just made up that whole story.

The title of this post is also a pithy description of my upcoming autobiography -- thank you, you've been a lovely audience!

House band: Ba da bop ba dop bop!

Anyway, the clip after the jump is a scene from My Bare Lady, Fox Reality Channel's series about a bunch of female porn stars trying out for a role in Romeo and Juliet on the London stage. The clip features the women faking orgasms as part of their audition, I assume for the famous "fake orgasm" scene in Romeo and Juliet: "Thou art causing me to climax!"

As I said before, I find it a little condescending that this series implies porn actors aren't real actors. I say they are real actors, just different kinds of actors. It's not so easy to be in the moment and maintain that element of fantasy when a roomful of people are watching you do it. I should know, it's why I'm no longer allowed in the library.

The video is probably NSFW, so click ahead with caution.

[via Digg]

I have never been a big fan of MADtv; however, whenever I catch it while flipping channels what I see isn't too bad. This is especially true when the show parodies television shows. For example, a few weeks ago I saw a skit featuring Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane wondering how his show would have looked as a live-action comedy. It was quite amusing (and I wish I could find a clip of it on the Internet).

So, when TV Squad fan SJ (yes, we have fans!) hinted us about a parody that MADtv did of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip I decided to take a look. The name of the parody is Studio 69 on Van Nuys Boulevard. Instead of focusing on a fictional late-night comedy show the parody focus on a fictional late-night porn show filmed in front of a live studio audience and transmitted to millions of service men around the world. The MADtv writers were frighteningly accurate when emulating all of Aaron Sorkin's traits. There's the caustic, yet charming and funny, director of the porn show, plenty of walk-and-talks, and even a prayer circle scene, reminiscent of one we saw in the second episode of Studio 60.

The video can be found after the jump. By the way, I'm going to be copyrighting that 'live porn in front of a studio audience' thing. So, you can all just step back!

By a show of hands, how many of your were in Sweden over the weekend watching the five-minute SVT news update at midnight? If you were, you might have seen something a bit ribald on one of the monitors behind anchorman Peter Dahlgren. Apparently some staffers were watching a sporting event on a channel that shows porn after midnight. They forgot to switch the monitor back before the newscast and viewers were treated to some hot, nasty, Czech porn sex. There were no complaints from viewers, but apparently the other media outlets found it quite interesting. All I can keep thinking is that a channel that shows sporting events during the day and pornography at night would probably do really well in the states. I'm not sure why no one has thought of that.

I vaguely recall that a porn star ran for governor of California, but I never paid much attention because I figured there wasn't much chance of anyone with the word "porn" attached to their name ever being elected for public office. However, Mary Carey, the adult film vixen in question, is still sticking around, and may take another stab at this whole governor thing. Or she'll star in the new reality series called My Bare Lady, where porn stars get a chance to do legitimate theater on the London stage, she hasn't really made up her mind yet. It seems her attorney is one of the producers for the new reality series, and she was on Countdown recently to discuss her aspirations with Keith Olbermann. Now, usually I'm not that interested in adult film stars outside of their primary roles, but this was one of the most surreal exchanges I've ever seen on any news analysis show. It was like getting a glimpse at the not-to-distant future when porn stars have taken over public office and use their sexual prowess to flirt their way out of scandals while plotting to take over the world. Is it merely some vapid blonde batting pleasantries back and forth with a "serious" news anchor, or evidence of what our government may soon become? I'll let you figure that out.

This fall, the Fox Reality Channel will be airing a three-episode series titled My Bare Lady, which will take four female porn stars out of their usual element and place them on the London theater stage, where they will perform "legitimate" theater. The ladies will have only a short time to get their acting chops together for the performance in London's West End, where an audience will decide if they have what it takes.

Now, this seems interesting and all, but also just a tad condescending. The implication seems to be that porn is easy and real acting is difficult. In the interest of fairness, I think the "real" actors who train these women should themselves have to act in a porn movie. Memorizing your lines is one thing, maintaining an expression of eternal ecstasy while coated in honey and hanging upside down from a set of indoor monkey bars is something else entirely. And I speak from experience.

[via Chroma]