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Hulu to charge for content; cubicle dwellers everywhere cringe

HuluHey you. Yeah, you - guy wasting company time by watching last week's episode of Heroes on Hulu. Enjoying it? Well, get ready to cough up some cash to find out what happens next.

In a move that we've all long feared was probably inevitable anyway, Chase Carey, deputy chairman of News Corp. (one of Hulu's co-owners) annouced that Hulu would begin charging users. According to Broadcasting & Cable, Hulu's fees could start as early as 2010.

You may commence booing now.

Continue reading Hulu to charge for content; cubicle dwellers everywhere cringe

Jenna Jameson gets own pay-per-view channel

jenna jamesonBen Franklin is renowned for inventing many things, but one invention he was never able to complete was "a special box in which moving pictures of men and women in various states of undress partaking in acts of carnality shall be viewed by men of loneliness and questionable bathing habits." Franklin dubbed it the "Porno Cube," but the invention was never meant to be because I just made up that whole story.

Continue reading Jenna Jameson gets own pay-per-view channel

How much would you pay for EVERY CHANNEL?

directvAre you super rich? Do you love television? DirecTV has come up with what our pals over at Engadget call "the ultimate couch potato package". And I couldn't have said it better. The new package offers everything. HBO, Showtime, Sports, HDTV, Adult programming, and PAY PER VIEW... and no fewer than ten DVRs to spread around your pad. And, it's all for less than the monthly cost of a new Mercedes (assuming you don't put any money down)!

The cost is about $625/month or $7,500 a year.

O.J.'s pay-per-view special

white bronco ojMany years ago, O.J. Simpson committed one of the most horrible crimes imaginable. Namely, he forever ruined the Naked Gun movies for me. Anyway, the Juice is getting back into the world of wacky comedies with a new pay-per-view special called Juiced, in which he plays Punk'd-style pranks on unsuspecting people. I actually contacted the people who handle the back end for this blog and they informed me there wasn't enough space on the servers for me to list every reason why this is the most horrible idea O.J or anyone else has ever had, but I will mention there's a scene in which he tries to sell the infamous white Bronco he used to escape in after being charged for the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's father has come out against the scene, describing Simpson as "morally reprehensible." My guess is that the usual "tragedy plus time equals comedy" equation doesn't apply when you're the one most closely associated with the tragedy.

From the grave, John Lennon's message remains the same

john lennon; yoko onoDid you watch the Pay-Per-view seance last night to contact the spirit of John Lennon? Me neither. A psychic and an expert in paranormal activity claim that Lennon made contact with them through an EVP, an Electronic Voice Phenomenon. It happened at the La Fortuna restaurant in New York City, where Lennon liked to eat.

Here's how it went down (according to reports): Filming of the seance at the La Fortuna restaurant stopped because something weird was happening. Then a mysterious voice was heard on the psychic's recorder. An "expert" confirmed it was Lennon and he was asking for Peace.

God is gonna throw down

cloudI went through a brief professional wrestling phase in junior high. This was when Hulk Hogan was in his prime and you could also see the likes of Rowdy Roddy Piper, the Iron Sheik, and Hillbilly Jim, among others. Eventually I got over watching men in tiny pants strutting around the ring and gesticulating, but professional wrestling kept going on without me, turning into a huge phenomenon and becoming, as one friend of mine put it, "a male soap opera."

He's right. The storylines have become more complex, and sometimes downright silly. This time, however, Vince McMahon may have topped himself. On April 30, during the WWE pay-per-view special "Backlash," Mr. McMahon will wrestle God. Wrestling fans already know that this is the culmination of an ongoing storyline which involved the sinister McMahon getting beat by Shawn Michaels, a born again Christian. I don't have pay-per-view, so I won't be able to watch, but here's what God had to say:

Continue reading God is gonna throw down

Televised seance to contact John Lennon

john lennon seanceWhat's it called when you produce the sequel to a show that was called a 'new low' in television? I don't know, either.

In 2003, it was The Spirit of Diana, a televised seance to contact the dearly departed Princess Diana. It cost $15 to watch and drew about 500,000 American viewers. This time around, the same geniuses behind the Diana seance are now attempting to contact John Lennon. On April 24, it'll cost a mere $10 to watch psychics visit different locations of importance to the former Beatle, including the New York apartment building where he was shot and killed. It's called... wait for it... The Spirit of John Lennon. And, no, Yoko Ono is not involved.

The producer of the program, Paul Sharratt, said that the Diana seance didn't make him a believer in psychics but he thinks there are "many, many millions of people around the world who think it's possible." Classy.

Amy Fisher and Buttafuocos to talk it out -- UPDATE

Amy Fisher Pay per viewThis just goes to show how much we don't care about Amy Fisher or Joey Buttafuoco. Last week, Joel told you how producers were shopping around a show where Amy, Joey, and Joey's ex-wife Mary Jo meet on national television. For all you youngsters out there, Amy Fisher is known as the Long Island Lolita. As a teen-ager in the 90s, she had an affair with Joey Buttafuoco and then shot Joey's wife. It became a media circus and there were no less than two made-for-tv movies about it (one starring Drew Barrymore). Someday I'll tell you about Lorena Bobbitt.

I don't know about you guys, but when I heard about this reunion, I was picturing a Jerry Springer-style throw down complete with hair pulling and body guards pulling a flailing Mary Jo off Amy and Joey. Instead, the cast of the Long Island Lolita will play second fiddle to mostly-naked girls in the Lingerie Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday. And, Mary Jo isn't even going to be there! Amy and Joey will meet face-to-face to toss the coin to start off the Lingerie Bowl, which is pay-per-view. Hmmm... something tells me Amy and Joey won't be the reason people will be paying to watch the Lingerie Bowl.

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