TVSquad

Here's my theory -- if Paris would've dropped a big wet smoocher on Seacrest while he was trailing her with that battery pack, then she wouldn't have gone home tonight. It would have been the perfect climatic moment during her performance of Prince's "Kiss," and God (being a huge Idol fan, and understanding the ironic nature of the moment) would have shifted some votes away from Elliott and given them to poor Paris. But alas, that didn't happen and Paris is going home, and Elliott (her partner in the bottom two) has survived another week.

I'm not shocked at Ace getting the boot. His number has been up since he couldn't top "Father Figure." (Ugh, that was like the first week, right? And did you notice that Queen was not in his "Bad Day" montage? Ha ha ha!) But Chris in the bottom 3?!?!?! I suppose that America is to blame. We let him down. That's what Paula is going to tell us next Tuesday, I'm sure. But, I guess we are to blame. I didn't vote for Chris last night. I felt sorry for Ace, so I voted for him. It was a sympathy vote that I wish I could take back. I figured that Chris would slip into the bottom 3 at least once (before triumphantly winning this whole thing), but not until a later date. I know this sounds silly, and only confirms my complete absorption into AI addiction, but I felt a little bit nauseas when I saw Chris standing there next to Ace. The mere thought of Chris going home prematurely made me want to throw up. So, that confirms it -- I'm officially a member of Team Chris. I'm pledging my allegiance right now.

You know what they didn't have a lot of back in the old days? Lyrics. Yeah, I know that the lyrics of most modern songs kind of suck. But never before did I realize how many times the chorus is repeated in older songs. It had to be you. It had to be you. It had to be you. But they are beautiful songs. But the outfits were ugly.

Not Rod, of course. He always looks sexy in his skinny, high-water suits. But Chris...

Being in the Final 12 means that you get to perform on the big stage, in front of the big crowd, with the big fancy lights. This is the AI equivalent of getting to sit at the adult table at Thanksgiving. No more of that kids' table crap. It's the big show with the bigger band and the souped-up sound system.

But there was no souped-up sound system in my apartment tonight.  

Am I the only person in the world who gets really annoyed when the contestants hold up their fingers to tell you what number to dial so you can vote for them? I don't know why that irks me, but it just does. Now that I got that off my chest (she breathes a sigh of relief), I must say that I found tonight absolutely boring. Practically every performance was just boring. I normally sit and watch Idol  with semi-enthusiasm, but tonight I think I got up in the middle of virtually every performance. I helped my roommate make iced tea. I looked for my nail clippers. I put socks on because my feet were cold. I flossed my teeth. Tonight's performances were just plain boring.

Typically, I give my two cents on each of the contestants, but I don't even feel the need to do that. Every performance was so similar in mediocrity that I feel like I would just be repeating myself with every evaluation.

I had the very same reaction as The New York Post did when they watched the AI auditions from North Carolina on Tuesday night. There was one person who stood out. One person who I can really picture having a career as a singer, whether she wins Idol or not.

It's Paris Bennent, the 17 year old who sang "Cowboy Take Me Away" and "Take Five." She has control, maturity, and a voice that sounds so classic (so classic you think she probably shouldn't be singing the types of songs that an AI win will have her singing). A teenager who seemed to channel Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald, or to a lesser extent Rosemary Clooney at her best. Great control, strong, with an integrity you could hear and feel.

Which, of course, means she probably won't win American Idol. But I can't wait til they get to the Hollywood competition!