If you don't count Hank -- and I'm trying to erase the two episodes I saw from my memory banks -- ABC has had a pretty good year launching new comedies. In fact, if you go back to the spring, you can add Better Off Ted to Cougar Town, The Middle and Modern Family.
Why then would ABC be giving Nicole Richie a new sitcom? I just don't see where she's worthy of a show, let alone that she has the star appeal or talent to carry a situation comedy.
Perhaps ABC has some take on The Simple Life star that I'm missing. She's cute, yes. She's not a complete airhead judging by what I've seen of her on talk shows. But, really, aren't there better actresses -- stars -- who are more viable for a new comedy series? Stars will more talent than celebrity to their credit.
This is Spoilers Anonymous, a weekly column here at TV Squad where we supply you with the dirt on some of the more popular shows on the air. We'll never put spoilers up here on the main page in order to help the reformed stay unspoiled. If you have anything to add to the group, feel free to step up and let yourself be heard, either with our tips form or by emailing us at tvsquad at gmail dot com, or call and leave a message at (775) 640-8479. Your anonymity is guaranteed, if you wish to remain as such.
This week we have spoilers for: Bones, Brothers & Sisters, Chuck, Desperate Housewives, Fringe, Gossip Girl, Greek, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, House, Lost, One Tree Hill, Scrubs, Smallville, Supernatural and Ugly Betty. (SPOILERS FOLLOW!)
Here's something that is going to take up most of your day.
Actually, it's not really new. It's an anagram site, and those have been popular on the web for years. But let's put a TV twist on it. As Whitney over at Pop Candy points out, David Letterman = Dead, Terminal TV. I don't happen to agree, but that's kinda funny. For the record, Jay Leno = Enjoy LA!
Paris Hilton = In His Patrol Jon and Kate = Ant and Joke (doesn't really make sense but somehow fits) Keith Olbermann = I'm The Rank Noble Katie Couric = Ciao! Irk Cute Who Wants To Be A Millionaire = Oh Wow! I'm A Brain On Satellite!
What can you come up with? Bob Sassone = So Base Snob
TV's Supernatural is about to get a lot weirder, and for a show that's about undead beings that steal people's "life forces" and shapeshifting douchebags, that's pretty damn weird.
E! Online scooped the universe with confirmation that Paris "The Human Spotlight" Hilton will make a guest star appearance on the paranormal CW show.
The network didn't spill much on the plot of Miss Hilton's visit, but noted "We've heard the storyline, and when you see it you will die." So I guess if you're not a big fan of dying, don't watch Supernatural or better yet, make someone you hate watch it. You've committed guilt-free murder, and The CW earns another ratings point.
Everyone needs a best friend, even millionaire heiresses who make sex tapes. Late night talk show hosts need them too, as these clips from last night's Jimmy Kimmel Lve. Kimmel went on the streets of L.A. to find contestants for his new reality show. (Conclusion after the jump.)
When the late night musical chairs began, I dipped my toes into their waters for the first time in many, many years. The only three shows remaining on my DVR are The Tonight Show, Late Night and The Late Late Show, and only Craig Ferguson is a must watch from beginning to end (I've actually cut Tonight twice and put it back since Conan took over).
The real hook for me is Ferguson's monologue. While everyone's doing, "Hey let's look at the news. Setup. Punchline. Setup. Punchline. Setup. Punch me in the face I can't take it anymore!," Ferguson is doing a short stand-up routine every night. It's smart, it's clever, and it all flows so much more nicely.
I've also enjoyed his constant rants about how terrible his show is, what a horrible host he is, and how incredibly cheap CBS is when it comes to anything to do with The Late Late Show. But now, long after all of his competitors got the upgrade, we're finally getting Craig Ferguson in HD starting August 31, 2009. So he'll have one less thing to bitch about, at least.
If you haven't seen our game before, we give you a picture from a recent episode of a TV series and you provide the caption! Last week we had a picture from Paris Hilton's My New BFF. The winner was Butters with this: Upon hearing that the Star Trek movie was popular Paris tries to jump on the bandwagon by putting up her hand and saying "Live strong and a porpoise, or whatever".
This week we have a picture from The Tonight Show. Conan and a giant statue. Photo is after the jump.
That's not a euphemism and I'm not being cute. Paris Hilton actually made lasagna for Jimmy Kimmel after a recent appearance on his show. Well, supposedly. Kathy Griffin isn't buying it. She explains to Jimmy what she thinks actually happened.
For four seasons on Bravo, Kathy Griffin has been trying to crawl her way off of what she called "The D-List," taking humiliating gigs and opening up a lot of her personal life to the cameras to try to get some attention. Truthfully, though, Griffin has been off of the D-List for quite some time, which makes tonight's season five premiere of My Life on the D-List (8 PM, Bravo) a bit puzzling. What list is she on now?
Griffin has now won two Emmys for the D-List, had a string of popular stand-up specials on Bravo, and her comedy album For Your Consideration, was nominated for a Grammy this year (she lost to George Carlin's It's Bad For Ya). And this season features appearances by Paris Hilton, Rosie O'Donnell, T.I., Bette Midler, Lily Tomlin, and Christina Aguilera - quite a cast for someone supposedly fighting obscurity. Plus, her book Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin, hits stores in September on Ballantine Books.
Paris Hilton really needs to rename her show. Brittany Flickinger was her "best friend forever" after the first season, but they don't talk anymore. Then she filmed a season in the UK to find her "British best friend," at least keeping "forever" out of that title. She's got a second season starting tonight in the US, and now we're going to get a new season of My New BFF in the United Arab Emirates as well. Though, apparently UAE officials are making sure Paris' wild ways don't make it through customs.
She's also interested in having BFFs in other parts of the world, so really she's just building an international posse. Plus, with her track record so far, it's more likely that these are just BFFN "best friend for now," or perhaps PITFTPBRIJDTFTMAFAIDTTSIGAC "people I'll tolerate for the press but really I'm just doing this for the money and fame and I'll drop them the second I get a chance." So check out the second season of Paris Hilton's My New PITFTPBRIJDTFTMAFAIDTTSIGAC premiering on MTV tonight at 10 Eastern, and see who she'll drop next.
At 8, ABC has two new episodes of According To Jim (including the series finale), followed by Earth 2100.
NBC has a new I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Outta Here at 8, then Inside The Obama White House: Brian Williams Reports and the season finale of Law and Order: SVU.
Versus has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
TCM has It Happened One Night at 8, then Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.
At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched at 9.
G4 has a sneak peek at Web Soup at 9.
Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9, followed by a new Man vs. Wild (with Will Ferrell).
At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
Bravo has a new Real Housewives of New Jersey at 10.
History Channel has a new Life After People.
Sci-Fi has a new ECW at 10.
Travel Channel has a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.
Also at 10: MTV has the season premiere of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Does she get a new best friend every year?
Ricky Gervais was on The Late Show with David Letterman on Friday and told a story about writing a letter to President Obama. Was it about the Iraq War or the economy or the environment? No, actually it was about something equally serious that has been troubling him. (Video also here.)
I don't usually watch the CBS Monday night comedy lineup anyway (I watch Chuck and Heroes), but even if I did I think I might want to skip tonight's episodes, or at least put the mute on during the commercial breaks.
In a move that is probably more about promoting Craig Ferguson's show during the debut week of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Ferguson and Paris Hilton will host the CBS lineup tonight. That means that at the start of (and probably during the middle of) Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and Rules of Engagement, Hilton and Ferguson will be shown sitting on a couch, watching the lineup along with viewers, probably making funny and/or sexually suggestive comments. They're already running a promo that shows Hilton saying "that's hot." Ugh.
Not sure if they're also going to host the only drama in the lineup, CSI: Miami. If you are regular viewers of the comedies, I'd just like to say: I'm sorry.
If you don't count Hank -- and I'm trying to erase the two episodes I saw from my memory banks -- ABC has had a pretty good year launching new comedies. In fact, if you go back to the spring, you can add Better Off Ted to Cougar Town, The Middle and Modern Family. 
Here's something that is going to take up most of your day.
TV's 
When the late night musical chairs began, I dipped my toes into their waters for the first time in many, many years. The only three shows remaining on my DVR are The Tonight Show, Late Night and 
At 8, ABC has a new episode of The Superstars, then a new Better Off Ted.
If you haven't seen our game before, we give you a picture from a recent episode of a TV series and you provide the caption! 
At 8, ABC has a new Jimmy Kimmel Live, followed by the Magic/Lakers game.
For four seasons on 
Paris Hilton really needs to rename her show. Brittany Flickinger was her "best friend forever" after the first season, but they don't talk anymore. Then she filmed a season in the UK to find her "British best friend," at least keeping "forever" out of that title. She's got a second season starting tonight in the US, and now we're going to get a 
At 8, ABC has two new episodes of According To Jim (including the series finale), followed by Earth 2100.
I don't usually watch the CBS Monday night comedy lineup anyway (I watch 
Have any questions for Rich Sommer of Mad Men? Ask them here!
Syfy's Alice -- An early look
The TV Squad Podcast: Surprising shows, decade-end lists, and the Commenter of the Week!
