TVSquad

If you're like me and missed the Rose Parade because you were busy with more important things, like wondering why you woke up in the dumpster behind Denny's, someone was nice enough to record the best part of the parade: the Star Wars floats, marching stormtroopers, and the man himself, George Lucas. I suggest you watch it with the sound turned off, because in the entire history of televised parades, the commentators have never said anything worthwhile.

My favorite is the Ewok village, though the waterfalls on the Naboo float are pretty cool, too. Speaking of Ewoks, did anyone else notice that in Return of the Jedi, the Ewoks are never once referred to as "Ewoks?" They're just weird little forest creatures. Also, what the heck is Yoda supposed to be? I personally believe he's a shaved Ewok, kicked off Endor for being a non-conformist.

Video after the jump.

The term is actually "Grand Marshall" but whatever, let's not split Wookiee hairs. George Lucas, the man behind Star Wars, one of the most profitable and popular movie franchises of all time, will be joined by select members of the 501st Legion, a total of 200 Star Wars costume enthusiasts who will be wearing costumes (enthusiastically). There will also be two floats dedicated to Star Wars, which celebrates its 30th anniversary in 2007: one done up like the forest moon of Endor from Return of the Jedi, and another designed to represent the planet Naboo from the prequels. I would have also created a Dagobah float, but alas, nobody asked my opinion. Also, giant helium balloons of some of the characters would be pretty sweet.

What a load of crap. This year marks the 80th anniversary of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, a tribute to helium, lip syncing, egregious product placement, and in a small way, Thanksgiving. However, don't expect to see either Kermit the Frog or Charlie the Brown floating high above with all the other balloons. Instead, they'll be replaced by Flying Ace Snoopy, Pickachu and the Energizer Bunny. Okay, I'll accept one Peanuts character replacing another, but c'mon, getting rid of an icon like Kermit the Frog for some lame incoherent cartoon character or a product mascot? If I hadn't accepted long ago that this annual parade is essentially a slow moving advertisement, I'd be much more bothered than I am right now.

Oh yeah, and if you're concerned about another balloon-related accident like the one that occurred last year, extra precautions have been taken, including wind instruments along the route to help avoid such occurrences. Now the only thing they'll have to worry about is a bolt of lightening striking the Snoopy balloon and causing it to come to life a la Frankenstein's monster, resulting in utter mayhem as he flies his doghouse over Broadway, launching sidewinder missiles at the SpongeBob balloon. When you think about it, that's really what Thanksgiving is all about ... in my head.