TVSquad

Page Six is reporting that Janice Dickinson is pissed at Tyra Banks. Apparently, Banks was photographed holding Dickinson's book No Lifeguard on Duty. In the book, the self-proclaimed "World's First Supermodel" talks about her drug abuse, the incest that plagued her childhood, sex, and affairs with celebrities. When Banks was photographed holding the book, she was allegedly on her way to speak to a crowd of young girls and offer her wisdom (as only Tyra can do).

Dickinson told Page Six: "And she's using my book. I mean, the thing looks so worn it's like she's been reading it on the toilet. It's pathetic. Where's her originality? Does she have no shame?"

After six seasons, Oxygen is shutting down Talk Sex with Sue Johanson. Her final advice on love, lust and awkward positions will be dispensed this Sunday, May 11. The show will feature the year's top ten sex toys. Wheee!

A frequent guest on talk shows (and a favorite of David Letterman's), the 78-year-old grandma of two has been dishing sex advice on Oxygen for six seasons. Whenever I've stumbled across the show, I always thought it was just so weird. Like getting sex advice from your grandma.

Then again, between Johanson and Dr. Ruth, maybe they make the best sexperts because you'd never look at them in a lustful way. That's just my armchair psychology talking.

She came onto American Idol like a whirlwind of joy. Her little squeal of delight in Hollywood when Simon loved one of her performances remains a highlight of this season for me. That moment spoke volumes for her good-natured essence. So when Joanne Borgella's AOL interview came after her elimination, it's no surprise that she had nothing but positive things to say.

So when she says she was just happy to have made the Top 24, I actually believe her. Unfortunately, nerves or illness appeared to really overwhelm Joanne so that by the time she got her first chance to impress America, she wasn't able to "bring it," as Randy would say. Oh, and for you overly sensitive types, the dialogue in the pic has to do with her comparative height to Ryan and the expression on her face, not her "plus-size."

Oxygen CEO Geraldine Laybourne (pictured) would like you to know that "comedy is Oxygen's voice." I'm afraid her saying that will only add fuel to the Christopher Hitchens "women aren't funny" fire because as far as I can see Oxygen is only unintentionally hilarious. If anything, Oxygen programs like The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency provoke the kind of nervous laughter in me that comes from shame, embarrassment and the fear that the society I live in has become completely unhinged. Apparently, any kind of laughter is good enough for the "network for women."

Tori Spelling is going to have a reality show about a bed and breakfast. God, they are really running out of ideas.

Maybe Paris Hilton can open up a shoe store, or how about Kirstie Alley running a highly profitable lemonade stand?

Not sure why Spelling would want to do this, since she already had the pseudo-reality show NoTORIous on VH-1. Maybe she needs more money since she only got about $800,000 when her dad Aaron passed away (according to rumors anyway). The show will run for six episodes the first season, and will co-star her husband Dean McDermott. It will air on Oxygen, but there's no title for the show yet.

How about the Mother May I Sleep At Tori Spelling's Bed and Breakfast?

[via TV Tattle]

Production has just begun on a new competition series for the Oxygen network that will pit hairstylists against one another in an attempt to go one-on-one with a famous hairstylist. The new series, hosted by SoapTalk's Lisa Rinna, is called Tease. Robert Verdi of E! and Style will judge the competitions along with salon owner Peter Ishkahns and booking agent Frank Moore. Six episodes of the new series are currently in production and slated to air in January. I'm clearly not the target audience for this new series, since to me the only thing more boring than getting my hair cut is watching someone else have their hair styled. Then again, if the series is as frantic as they're making it out to be, maybe we'll see a lot of accidental head stabs, third degree burns and eye punctures. If that's the case, then I may have an excuse to tune into Oxygen for the first time since that network debuted.

A poll recently commissioned by the Oxygen Network --a channel continuously beaten out by the Hydrogen Network on the Periodic Table of Ratings -- revealed that women these days would much rather have a plasma screen television than a diamond necklace. The poll was meant to show how women are actually becoming more interested in tech gadgets these days. It also revealed that most women would rather have a new digital camera than a new pair of shoes. Apparently they didn't poll homeless women; I'm sure the results would have been different. Anyway, gentlemen, now you know what to get your lady for that next special occasion: a diamond-encrusted plasma television that dispenses shoes with a camera inside of them. That way you've covered all your bases.

Shannen Doherty is teaming up with the creators of Scare Tactics once again for a new reality show of sorts called Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty. No, the show isn't about people dating and breaking up with the actress, but it is about people in cruddy relationships who aren't sure whether to pull the plug or not. Doherty goes undercover to survey the situation, then deicdes whether to help instigate a break up. Thirteen episodes of the new series will air on Oxygen, though I probably won't watch it since I grew bored with it in the time it took me to type that sentence describing it. Oh yeah, and I should point out that the show won't just focus on romantic relationships, but on any kind of bad relationship.

On Sunday night, Oxygen debuts its latest comedy, Campus Ladies, featuring Carrie Aizley as "Joan" and Christen Sussin as "Barri," two middle-aged women who up and decide to go back to college after catching Barri's husband cheating on her and some time after the death of Joan's husband. The premiere also features Jane Kaczmarek as the friend who tries to convince Joan and Barri to give up on this idea, and the whole shebang is produced by Cheryl Hines of Curb Your Enthusiasm fame.

The first thing I've got to say is that the whole concept and execution is completely over the top. Between the ladies somehow impressing the sorority girls enough that they end up dissing roommate Paige (played by Miranda Kent) to showing Barri hung up in some sort of sex swing at the end of the second show, it's pretty out of control. If that's not enough proof for you, check out the first post on the Campus Ladies blog, which might add at least one set of words to your phrasebook. Having not watched a ton of Oxygen programming before (read: none), I can't gauge exactly what level of quality this show is supposed to have, but you can tell it definitely aspires for Absolutely Fabulous. Joan and Barri are pretty much completely clueless when it comes to what's going on on campus, doing exactly what your mom might do were she put in similar social situations. In a way, that's what made this show a bit predictable. But what caused a few laughs for me was when everything "worked out" for them and they weren't shunned away. Plus, seeing Joan do keg stands and watching dorm neighbor Abdul (the Iranian guy who can get you anything you need, including ladies unmentionables - he thinks) check Barri's tongue for orange condom residue was just too much. If you're into a lot of "I can't believe they got into that situation" humor (which Ms. Hines is surely responsible for), then this is probably a show you'll dig.

I'll definitely say that most folks won't "get it" when it comes to this show, but that's the same for Curb or Reno 911, I think. Over at the Oxygen site, the producers are promoting the show by offering a free shower gel, evoking thoughts of the pair doing the "hot naked lady" thing in the dorm shower - a scene that you pretty much have to see to believe.

Janice Dickinson was booted from her judge position on America's Next Top Model and disappeared off the face of the TV-world after she stormed out on the finale of The Surreal Life 5 (oh, Omarosa...). Well, guess what? Janice is back with her own show. Oxygen has ordered 10 episodes of Janice's own reality modeling show, in which she'll pick five models to join her new Hollywood modeling agency, Janice Dickinson Models.