TVSquad

"Oh, goodness. Is this where they do Dancing with the Stars?"
-- Willie Ray Johnson, Brenda's momma

(S04E08) Here was an episode that epitomized what I like about The Closer. This was an excellent mystery. It was complicated and drew you into the chase. Like Brenda, you're wondering how it was done, why and by whom.

Of course, it didn't seem like it was going to be a heavy duty episode, not when the opening was all about Willie Ray and Clay's unexpected visit. That damn RV has brought Brenda's parents cross-country, even with gas at $4 a gallon!

Don't get me wrong, I like Barry Corbin and Frances Sternhagen. They're great actors, but the roles are so broadly drawn. The show uses them for comic relief, even though they can do drama brilliantly. The scenes at the film studio were too jokey to me, especially in light of the heinous crime scene that Brenda was investigating.

The murder reminded me of the O.J. Simpson case. It looked like Ryan -- an actor with anger management issues -- was the murderer. He lied and had a history of beating his wife. The sight of him with the gym bag and then those black gloves were all vaguely reminiscent of O.J. Of course, since he was the prime suspect, I never thought that he was the killer. Too obvious.

O.J. Simpson is interested in appearing on television again, though for a much different sort of reality show than the interior of a courtroom. Namely, The Donald's boardroom.

O.J. reportedly is interested in appearing in the next season of Celebrity Apprentice (there's going to be another season?) and has even asked Trump to allow him to participate. From the Page Six article: "Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious," their source said. "There's a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson." Ya think?

I'm betting Simpson's appearance on the show will boost ratings in some circles, while others will cry for a boycott of the show. I'm not sure where O.J.'s going to have time to finish tasks for The Apprentice when he's so busy scouring golf courses all over America in search of his late wife's killer. Maybe that will be the final Apprentice task.

If you haven't heard, Catherine Crier's show has not been renewed by Court TV, so she is leaving the network. But not before getting in a few digs.

In a speech to lawyers in Florida, Crier says she is sad to hear that Court TV (which is changing its name, by the way) is no longer going to cover trials on TV. It will be a web-only feature. Instead, the network is changing its entire lineup, and Crier says it will be "a lot of explosions, a lot of car chases, a lot of cops, a lot of beach babes."

I'm surprised that the network is getting rid of their trial coverage, since it was one of the features that really made their network stand out from anyone else.

...tonight, on a very special episode of The Simple Life.

OK, maybe they won't make it part of the show, though I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her probation, and being a moron. Well, not that last part, but definitely for violating her probation. She is going to have to show up to jail on June 5, and the judge is not going to let her do a furlough or wear a monitoring bracelet or any other easy way out. Doesn't sound too "hot."

Now comes the part where all of you unleash your comments below and let us know if this is a good thing or not, and make jokes about what jail will be like for Paris Hilton. The jail she's going to is the same place that held O.J. Simpson, and their main meal is usually chicken.

...fiiiiiiiiiiiive canceled shooooooooows!

1. The Nine (ABC): Yeah, the network can say it's "on hiatus" and that "the remaining episodes will be shown in 2007," but we all know what it means. And the reason I picked this as #1 is because this show had more buzz and positive reviews than any other show before the season started. I think more critics picked it as a the "best" than any other show. Then the show kept losing viewers, even though it was on after Lost, so ABC pulled it from the schedule. That's really unfortunate. It was a good show, though I think that after the pilot viewers were expecting a different type of show than the straight drama with a twist that we got. Hopefully Tim Daly will have better luck with his new show next year.

The Mayor of Television (hey, they had an election for Mayor of Television? Why didn't anyone tell us??) has invented the Law and Order Fantasy League Game. Basically, you guess which "ripped from the headlines" story one of the Law and Order shows (the original, Criminal Intent, and Special Victims Unit) is going to ripoff write an homage to. Will it be Michael Richards? The O.J. Simpson book controversy?

But you can't just guess which show is going to do which plot and be done with it. You have to tweak it a little bit, so it's "original" (cough cough). So, maybe a former sitcom actor says some nasty racial remarks, only this time it's not at a comedy club, it's at a private party. Or maybe a former pro baseball star (not a football star! accused of killing his parents (not his ex-wife and her friend!) decides to create a web site (not publish a book!) showing pics of the murder scene and how he might have done it.

The Mayor's idea for a Michael Richards-inspired story is more elaborate than mine, and would fit the L&O world nicely.

[via TV Tattle]

On the Howard Stern show today, Artie Lange was talking about his buddy Norm MacDonald, who was supposed to be on the show this morning, but bailed (he was on Letterman last night, though). Lange mentioned a few items that were interesting: Firstly, he thought a specific "Weekend Update" joke about O.J. Simpson -- after O.J. was found not guilty, Norm said something along the lines of "Murder is now legal in Southern California." -- is what got him fired from SNL. Then-NBC exec Don Ohlmeyer was friends with Simpson, and rumors had always floated around that he was always pissed at Norm's O.J. jokes (even though Leno was doing plenty at the time, too). This is the first time, though, that I've heard that a specific joke got him fired.

The second item Artie let slip was that Norm loved doing "WU" so much, that he'd love to just do fake news until he retires. Because of this, Norm may be looking to do a show like that. Not a bad idea; I always liked him on "WU", even if his weridness didn't go over well with the audience, I always admired his "I don't give a shit what people think" attitude. Would you watch Norm do a fake news show? Let me know in the comments.