TVSquad

Outside of bootleg T-shirts and posters, we haven't seen much of Bart Simpsons' penis. I'm going to assume most of you are content with that, but Newsweek reports we might be seeing more of Bart than ever before in the upcoming Simpsons movie.

It's not as if cartoon wang has never been seen before: we've seen Cartman's on South Park, and another short-lived animated series on Comedy Central, Bob and Margaret, showed occasional toon frontal nudity, as well. However, the quoted Newsweek piece doesn't say anything about the audience being exposed to Bart, just that Bart exposes himself at one point (which could mean the characters in the movie catch a glimpse but we don't).

Move that Caprica Six poster on your cubicle wall and make room for the new Queen of the Geeks. The Office actress Jenna Fischer appears naked on the cover of the April 2007 issue of Wired magazine. The magazine comes with a clear cover that makes her look like she's dressed in a suit, but you pull it back and see she's naked (naughty parts hidden tastefully behind a white sign she's holding). You can see it and other photos here.

Why is she naked? In case you actually care, it goes with a feature article about "radical transparency", which is a new trend of companies going public with upcoming projects, etc. The title of the article is "Get Naked and Rule the World".

By the way, this isn't the first time Jenna has had a revealing photo shoot. She also showed off her ass in Jane magazine last July. I imagine her Office co-stars are going to give her hell for this. (Remember how they responded to her Esquire article?)

Ooooohhh, this is good news... good news, indeed:

Tricia Helfer, who plays one of the Hot Cylons -- Number Six, to be specific -- on Battlestar Galactica, is scheduled to appear in Playboy next month. She's a former Victoria's Secret model, so it's not like this is the first time she's been photographed nude or scantily-clad; heck, just call up her name on Google Images and you'll see plenty of examples, from Maxim and other sources. It's just that Playboy does things... I don't know; they just do things right. Whether the airbrushing looks more realistic, or the fact that they surround their models in shimmering fabric (or hay bales or fountains or whatever...). Let's just say that they'll treat her well there.

Seriously. How many times can you read about pics/videos of a celebrity being lost/stolen and released on the internet before you learn? The latest to join the group of slow learners appears to be Desperate Housewives' Marcia Cross. TV Guide reports that Marcia somehow managed to throw some pictures of herself showering out with the trash.

Now the people that found them are taking bids. Of course they are. Cross claims that she threw the pics out by mistake, and would like them returned, but I would counter that the real mistake was taking them in the first place. Although, I'm really not sure what kind of a market there is for Marcia Cross nudes. She was already naked in 1996's Female Perversions, which is out on DVD.

Anna reported last January that Reno 911! would be coming to theaters as Reno 911!: Miami. In a recent interview, Thomas Lennon, who plays Dangle on the series, said the movie would be out on Januray 19 of 2007, which isn't terribly far off, so that's good news for all of us Reno fanatics. Lennon says we'll see a lot more skin in the movie than we do on the TV show, and that there's even a lenghty love scene between Dangle and Wiegel. Basically, the movie is going to be much raunchier than the TV show, which just makes me want to see it even more. Also good news: there will be a fifth season of the series.

(S01E20) In this age where depictions of sexual fantasies which cover the entire spectrum from mildly titillating to mind-bogglingly depraved are available to anyone with an internet connection, a television episode about a kid swiping his dad's Playboy almost seems like something Norman Rockwell would have painted.

Those of us who grew up before the advent of the internet each have our own story about the time we first discovered our dad's hidden treasure of skin mags. I grew up on a farm and discovered my father's collection of Playboys from the '70s and '80s in an old wooden shed, resting inside a stack of dresser drawers. Like any boy who was too young to really be interested in sex yet, I found the magazines to be equal parts fascinating and repulsive. As much as our parents would try to protect us from such things, discovering those magazines was a kind of rite of passage for many young boys. You didn't know what you had found exactly, but it opened a window into the grown-up world you never knew existed. These days, that window no longer exists. In fact, the whole damn wall has been removed and replaced by an endless digital conduit of smut pouring out of the computer monitor of anyone with the ability to type the word "boobs" into Google's search field. An old copy of Playboy with nothing more than a nude female lounging next to a fireplace seems downright quaint.

Filming on the Lost set was halted last week when two girls swam up to the remote set's beach and walked out of the surf buck nekid begging for acting jobs and autographs.

I imagine the guys on the set were really loving thier jobs that day.