TVSquad

Good news for fans of celebrity gossip dished out by a gay man with a love for MS Paint: popular online muckraker Perez Hilton is coming to VH1 as the host of What Perez Says, a series of one-hour specials that Hilton himself is describing as "like PerezHilton.com come to life, but even juicier." The new series debuts in September.

I suppose it's somewhat ironic that Perez is becoming part of the celebrity world he so gleefully attacks on his blog. Of course, in this age when almost everyone is a celebrity in some form or another, it's not too surprising.

According to Monsters and Critics, singer, video vixen and popular MySpace personality Tila Tequila (real name Tila Nguyen) may soon have her own series on VH1. Nguyen says she plans to "push the envelope," with her new series, which, based on her YouTube videos, I assume means she'll be half-dressed through most of the show to distract people from her singing. There are no real details on the series just yet, and no official word when or if it will debut.

Cindy Williams and Penny Marshall aren't the only "classic" TV stars slated to pop up on TV Land this coming season: both Loni Anderson (WKRP in Cincinnati) and Harry Anderson (Night Court) are the first to sign on for a new series called Back to the Grind, which is not a revamped version of the MTV dance show The Grind, but rather a reality series in which actors and actresses will actually perform the jobs their characters had on their respective shows.

Seeing Harry Anderson as a judge and Loni Anderson doing whatever it is she did on WKRP could be entertaining, but I also want to see Wayne Rogers remove shrapnel from a young South Korean boy, and I want to see Melissa Sue Anderson stricken with blindness in order to reprise her role as Mary Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie. If we're going to make a show like this, people, let's not mess around.

The series premieres on October 10.

There's not too much information on it just yet, but FOX has ordered six episodes of Anchorwoman, a new comedy that will mix both reality and scripted elements as it focuses on a super model who returns to Texas to become a TV anchorwoman, because, who wants to listen to an ugly woman report the news? Not me. In fact, I was once almost killed in a tornado because I refused to listen to the average-looking news woman telling me to seek shelter. I now have half a dead chicken embedded in my skull, I can't do basic math, and sometimes triangles make me cry, but I think it was worth it.

Where was I? Oh yeah, not much information, but I like the idea of mixing two genres together. I'll save judgment until more information pops up about the series, but the basic premise alone has me intrigued.

While the Jim Henson Company works away on film and TV projects, we've been constantly teased with the promise of a new Muppet series. The last time this happened was with the short-lived Muppets Tonight in the '90s. Attempts to bring the gang back to television haven't come to fruition, including a pilot in 2004 for America's Next Muppet that was never picked up as a series.

Steve Wilkos, the tough security guard who keeps rednecks from getting too feisty on The Jerry Springer Show now has his own gabfest. NBC Universal Domestic Television Distribution recently sold the syndicated series to stations owned by Tribune and Sinclair. The show is still untitled, but look for the former marine and cop to offer his own brand of tough love and sound advice.

You may be asking yourself why the hell you should listen to advice from Wilkos. The real question is, why should you take advice from anyone on television? It's not like Oprah knows you any better than Wilkos does. Really, the only person on television you should trust is the Hamburger Helper glove. When he says he can make beef more exciting, I believe him. He's never steered me wrong before.

Here's an original idea: create a sitcom based around two brothers with different political beliefs. Make one of these men liberal and the other one conservative. Also, make sure the liberal is the intellectual one and the conservative is an obnoxious blowhard. Now, to try and distract from the complete lack of originality inherent in this sitcom, put the conservative guy in a wheelchair. See? He's not just some cookie-cutter stereotype, he's a crippled cookie-cutter stereotype.

Anyway, that's the gist of a new pilot called Playing Chicken that was recently ordered by FOX. Perhaps the show will actually make fun of these stereotypes rather than perpetuating the nonsense that all conservatives are obnoxious and all liberals are erudite snobs, so I won't judge too harshly until I actually see it. Actually, who am I kidding? I'm going to judge it quite harshly.

You know, if anyone other than H. Jon Benjamin were involved with this show, I'd say a cartoon about a crime-fighting ass was a really stupid idea. And when I say "crime fighting ass" I don't mean TJ Hooker, I mean an actually human butt who works as a sniper for the police department. A trailer for the new series Assy McGee, which kicks off on November 26 on Adult Swim at 11:30 pm, can be viewed after the jump. I completely lost it when Assy, right before launching a missile at a blimp, says, "Adios ... blimp." That's just what I would expect from a talking ass who takes the law into his own hands in order to rid the city of criminals and murderers. He's like Dirty Harry, if Dirty Harry were a butt.

The show was created by Benjamin, Matt Harrigan (voice actor for Aqua Teen Hunger Force and 12 Oz Mouse) and Carl W. Adams. John Glaser of Late Night with Conan O'Brien is a writer for the show, along with the three creators. The schedule currently has the series set for a six-episode run. It has a visual style somewhat similar to Minoriteam, but less static and more fluid.