TVSquad

You may not have gotten the day off for this momentous day in American history (damn you, socialist government!), but today marks a very special anniversary: the first ever episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The show officially hit the airwaves on a local Minneapolis station, KTMA, on Thanksgiving Day in 1988 by a young, fresh-faced Joel Hodgson. The rest, as people who rely on cheap cliches to heighten the dramatic effect with their weak words, is history. You can read the rest at the Satellite News site, the most exhaustive and interesting MST3K site on the Internet.

Every fan of the show and even occasional glancers remembers where they were when they first discovered this kind of cult comedy classics. For me, I discovered it with my old man who hates it when I call him my old man during the hilarious Pod People episode, arguably the funniest episode for the show and the worst movie the show has ever skewered.

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 alums at Rifftrax are taking Christmas down a notch in a nationwide event next month, and you can win a trip to sunny San Diego to watch in person.

Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett will team up again with partner and live event specialist Fathom to bring a collection of old-school Christmas shorts to theaters across the country in a live big screen broadcast.

Somehow, those little bite-sized Snickers and Milky Ways you got as Halloween Trick or Treat candy always seemed to taste better than the bigger ones you can snag in any store.

That's kind of the effect you get from watching a new pair of laugh-out-loud Shorts DVDs from Rifftrax -- Wide World of Shorts and Shorts-Tacular Shorts-Stravaganza.

The commentary of Mystery Science Theater 3000 alums Michael J. Nelson, Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy can usually make any movie funny. But, the riffs you buy off their website for major feature films can sometimes come with a cost.

For example, the problem with buying the riffs for Twilight or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is you then have to sit there and watch Twilight or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. That's a razor's edge trade-off for a few laughs.

Some more sad news from Tinseltown. Movie star and recent television star Patrick Swayze has lost his 20 month battle with pancreatic cancer at his ranch in Los Angeles. He was 57 years old.

Barbara Walters will air the actor's final television interview in a one hour special titled Last Dance tonight at 10 PM eastern/9 PM central on ABC.

He's probably best known for his work on the big screen in movies like Ghost, Dirty Dancing and (of course) the timeless Road House, a movie that became a cult sensation for all the wrong reasons and helped birth the sense of humor of MST3K and Rifftrax's Michael J. Nelson. But like all Hollywood actors, he made his presence known on the small screen, and his reach goes much further than his recent venture into cable drama glory with A&E's The Beast.

The Rifftrax crew is about to embark on a massive effort to perform a live show in more than 400 theaters across the country. And, they'll do it all in one night.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 alumni Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett have joined forces with Fathom Events to present Rifftrax Live: Plan 9 from Outer Space. On Aug. 20, Rifftrax will present an evening of live riffing, originating from Nashville, Tenn. and beaming into movie theaters nationwide at 8 PM ET, 7 PM CT, 6 PM MT, and a tape delayed 8 PM PT.

The trio will take on what some say is the worst film of all time, Plan 9. Of course, only people who haven't seen Manos: The Hands of Fate or anything directed by Coleman Francis would give Ed Wood's anti-classic that honor. But, Plan 9 offers the Rifftrax guys more than enough ammunition.

Rifftrax, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 descendant written and performed by Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, is taking its show live to the nation's movie theaters on August 20.

In a move sure to draw desperate MST3K fans from out of their parents' basements (this reporter among them -- though my folks' old house only has a washer/dryer downstairs), Fathom Events will present the Rifftrax trio live in theaters via vid-cast up on the big screen.

They'll take on Ed Wood's classically inept Plan 9 from Outer Space, a movie they've wrestled with on DVD and in past live shows.

It seems no movie is safe from Kevin Murphy and his former Mystery Science Theater 3000 comrades as they mock flicks full-time for Rifftrax.

Murphy, RiffTrax writer/commentator and forever Tom Servo on the Satellite of Love of the original movie-mocking show famous for tackling B-movies, regularly joins fellow MST3K alums Bill Corbett and Michael J. Nelson to record a series of commentaries on classic and significantly less than classic flicks. Their targets range from The Happening and Twilight to Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars - all available for $4.

The site just released perhaps the most challenging riff, deliberately taking on what many people consider the greatest film of all time, Casablanca.

Many movie fans -- even those who enjoy Rifftrax -- object to mockery of such iconic work, but Murphy points to the sites' motto: "We don't make movies. We make them funny."

It's hard to see beloved characters leave your favorite shows. You have created a bond with them, perhaps even projected their values onto yourself in an effort to raise the self esteem you had before, say, you fell down the Law & Order rabbit hole and started to believe the shows were actual news and not just "ripped from the headlines." But change is inevitable, and sometimes, it works out. Here are a few that worked (at least for me).

1. Current cast of Law & Order: I know, I know, who could replace Lenny Briscoe? No one, really. But the current pairing of Anthony Anderson and Jeremy Sisto as NYPD partners is the best the series has produced. They changed the feel of the show. Perhaps because we're still getting to know them, they are less predictable then previous tandems, and both evoke a certain hard-nosed quality that seems a bit more gritty and real. Plus, Anderson has chops as a stand-up comic, and could easily fill the wisecracker role, if need be.

Mike Nelson is a good guy. And he has always seemed like a reasonable guy to me. But now I think he's lost it a little.

For the entire month of February, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 host/head writer is going to eat nothing but bacon. That's right, nothing but bacon for an four weeks. Make sure you have your best suit dry cleaned for the inevitable funeral in March.

OK, maybe he'll survive like Morgan Spurlock did, though Spurlock's whole experiment was rather lame and misleading, in my opinion. But eating nothing but one of the most incredibly unhealthy foods (the fat! the grease! the salt!) for an entire month? I'm not too sure about that. He'll be drinking liquids, but most of them are alcohol (and water). No veggies or fruits for an entire month. Wow, even if you ate nothing but pizza for an entire month you'd at least get dairy and fiber and maybe some veggies. Mike will be keeping track of his progress (with bacon photos!) at Rifftrax.

Godspeed Mike. Godspeed.

Here are a couple of names that should make MST3K fans excited - Joe Don Baker and Joe Estevez. Yes, those two names guarantee a certain amount of cinematic terribleness, a feast for Joel, Mike, and the Bots, especially Baker, whose bumbling, making-love-to-banjo-music cop movie Mitchell is one of the best.

MST3K XIV includes four episodes from three different seasons, including two from the final season, Season Ten:

The Mad Monster from Season One: With the old cheesy set that Joel and Trace revealed at an M.I.T. lecture they accidentally delivered two weeks early. If they'd known they had two more weeks, they'd have put more work into the concept. When it was originally released, The Mad Monster was probably fairly advanced and stylish from a technical standpoint. But it's still poorly acted, and MST3K seems to have a special place in its collective hearts for bad werewolves. Also includes the short Commando Cody & The Radar Men from the Moon. A fiery Invention Exchange: Joel's "Hell in a Hand Bag" anti-theft device and Forrester's monster role playing game with a fire-breathing Godzilla. Tom Servo also hits on a blender.

Consider this your way-too-far-in-advance sneak preview at a future DVD extra for a Mystery Science Theater 3000 set for Shout! Factory. On January 17, MST3K creator Joel Hodgson and original cast member and writer Trace Beaulieu gave a crowd at M.I.T. a peek behind the scenes of the venerable sci-fi comedy show with their lecture, "The Design and Speculative Technology of MST3K," which they filmed to use as a future DVD extra.

For the uninitiated, Joel was the original host, was shot into space by evil scientists (Dr. Forrester was played by Beaulieu) and forced to watch (sing it with me, MSTies) "cheesy movies, the worst we can find." To help him handle the torture, Joel built four robot friends, two of which, Crow (also originated by Beaulieu) and Servo, watched the movies and made fun of them with Joel. Together, Joel, Crow, and Servo cut the best silhouette in show business (at least to comedy and movie geeks like myself).

But then, if you're reading this, you probably know all of that.

It's sad that we don't have Mystery Science Theater 3000 anymore, but it's great that we have two spinoffs/reunions to entertain us. Joel, Trace, Frank, Mary Jo, and J. Elvis have Cinematic Titanic, and Mike, Bill, and Kevin have Rifftrax. I'll leave it to you to discuss which one you like the best. I'm partial to Rifftrax. And if you've never heard what the guys do, tonight might be a good time to check it out.

At 9pm ET (6pm PT), there will be a live, free Rifftrax performed by the guys for everyone to see and hear on their computer. Probably the very same computer you're reading this one, unless you're at work. And if you're at work you shouldn't be spending all of your time on a TV site. Get back to work.

What they'll be riffing is Self-Conscious Guy, a short film from 1951 I'm assuming is about a guy who is self-conscious. I've never heard of it, but the shorts that MST3K used to do were some of the funniest stuff they did, so this should be good. I'm going to watch this instead of Grissom leaving CSI.

Mad TV came along at a time in American television history when America had an excuse to get out of the house and live healthy and productive lives on Saturday night.

But eventually, the show evolved into a 60-minute scream fest of recurring characters spouting catchphrases over and over and celebrity satire that taught lessons about the proliferation of pop culture and ignorance. Important lessons, such as "Boy is Anna Nicole Smith dumb and fat!" and "Hey, is that Paris Hilton a whore or what?" Every episode felt like a hand was reaching out of the TV and rubbing a cheese grater across my face. Now 14 years after its inception, Fox has finally decided to pull the plug on Mad TV and let it die a slow horrible death instead of taking it out Old Yeller-style, the way God intended.

I'm sure at one point or another in every little kid's life, he or she has wanted to have a robot BFF. All the potential for wacky fun and scientific misadventures would make up for the inevitable human/binary language barrier, and, when I think about it, I still totally want a robot buddy. I mean, from my time on this Earth, of two things I am sure: Lists are fun and robots are awesome. So, despite the fact that my age numerically suggests I shouldn't be thinking about this sort of stuff, I am all over this list.

I should also note that, upon completion of this depressingly nerdy post, I am legally obligated to punch myself in the face for a solid fifteen minutes and then steal my own lunch money. Let's just get this over with, shall we? Here are the top eleven robot buddies from TV, in no particular order, because each robot is special in its own way. Also, I don't want any readers to kill me for not ranking to their liking.

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

Wow, if you bought all of the complete series sets being released this week you'd have a great start for your TV DVD collection: NewsRadio, The Flintstones, The 4400, Sanford and Son, and several others. The NewsRadio set doesn't have anything that wasn't in the individual sets, but it's a great buy if you don't have all of the seasons. The Mystery Science Theater 3000 set (the one with the collectible Crow and lobby cards) might already be sold out, so I'd check on that. I used to watch Zoom back in the 70s, though I can't imagine buying the DVD set.

I don't think I've ever seen The Doris Day Show, but it looks like something I might have to have.

• The 4400 - Complete Series
• Cathouse - Complete Series
• Dark Shadows - Vol. 6: Episodes 179-209
• The Donna Reed Show - Season 1
• The Doris Day Show - Christmas Memories
• Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Complete Series
• The Flintstones - Complete Series
• Girlfriends - Season 5
• Good Times - Complete Series
• The Little Rascals - Complete Collection
• The L Word - Season 5
• Millennium - Complete Series
• Mystery Science Theater 3000 - 20th Anniversary Set
• NewsRadio - Complete Series
• Sanford and Son - Complete Series
• Sister, Sister - Season 1
• War and Remembrance - Season 1
• Zoom - Back to the 70s