TVSquad

An awesome lady named Martha Fischer sent me a link to a BMW commercial featuring Kermit the Frog. The commercial is in "not English," so if you understand what's being said, you'll be able to appreciate it more than someone like me who can barely grasp the English language, much less an entirely new one. Although, I'm pretty sure he says something like, "I have no time to talk, I'm on my way to have sexual congress with a pig."

That's also how Hillary Clinton ends all her campaign speeches. Thank you! You've been a great audience!

Muppet fans know that some characters evolve while others just spring up from out of nowhere. Cookie Monster, for example, began life as somewhat more ferocious-looking monster (the row of sharp teeth helped) in several commercials before being toned down and brought to Sesame Street.

In the clip below, a pre-Sesame Street Cookie Monster devours a machine while the machine describes how it works and what its many functions are. Actually, it only has one main function, but you'll have to watch the clip for that.

Like many of you, I've been waiting since the 1999 film The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland for the little red Muppet to return to the big screen. Every morning I would wake up and check all the trade papers to see if li'l Elmo was ready to make his big screen comeback, and every day I was disappointed.

Actually, everything in that paragraph is a lie, though I did see The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland in the theater, along with my then three-year-old nephew and a theater full of little kids (they loved it). Muppet News Flash is reporting that a possible movie version of the "Elmo's World" segment on Sesame Street is in the very early stages of development. So early, in fact, that there's no guarantee the movie will be made at all. If it does get made, word is that it will put Elmo in a CG crayon-drawn world in the vein of Harold and the Purple Crayon or Chalk Zone.

I know parents and those of us who grew up with "classic" Sesame Street aren't especially fond of Elmo, but you can't deny the little guy has his fans. Also, it helps to keep in mind that Elmo is specifically designed to appeal to smaller children, not their older siblings.

There are plenty of other things I could be doing with my time on this Sunday, but none of them are as fun as taking a handful of different Muppets personality tests on the internet. This test says I'm Fozzie Bear. This one says I'm Animal. This one thinks I'm Kermit. This one thinks I'm Statler and Waldorf.

I disagree with all of them. I think the true Muppets test is just in your looks, not your personality. I think I look like Rowlf (it's the brown hair). I have a friend who is a dead ringer for Janice, one who reminds me of Fozzie Bear, and another who could totally pass for Crazy Harry. There's a Muppet for everybody!

So.. forget the stupid tests. Which Muppet do you resemble?

The always informative Muppet News Flash has the scoop on two new Muppet-related books, both slated for release in September. The first is an inspirational book by Muppeteer Kevin Clash, best known as the puppeteer and voice behind Elmo. Clash was also the voice of the Baby on the series Dinosaurs and also played Splinter in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie franchise. The book is titled My Life as a Furry Red Monster: What Being Elmo Has Taught Me About Life, Love and Laughing Out Loud. The other book, written by Kermit the Frog himself, will focus on what he's learned throughout his illustrious career in show business. Kermit's book, A Frog's Life: Where I've Been and the Lessons I've Learned, will be out on September 30. Clash's book comes out September 5.

Dance your cares away, people. The always sexy and always informative Muppet News Flash has a few rumors about what we might expect in the September 5 release of the second season of Fraggle Rock. The key word in that last sentence is "rumor," as no official announcement has been made about any of this stuff. Nevertheless, Muppeteer Steve Whitmire (who took over as the voice of Kermit after Jim Henson's death and has worked on pretty much all Muppet ventures, including Sesame Street) recently spoke to fans in London where, according to Web scuttlebutt, he said the new DVD set may feature interviews with himself and others, and may also include special home movies he shot while working on the set of Fraggle Rock.