masturbation-related stories
Posted Jul 29th 2006 9:58AM by Adam Finley
Filed under: OpEd, Animation, Adult Swim, Moral Orel
(S01E02) This is an early review courtesy of Adult Swim Fix. The televised version will air Sunday late night on Adult Swim.
This initial season of Moral Orel has been shown entirely out of order due to issues with standards and practices, though it hasn't really affected the series all that much since every episode works as a stand-alone anyway. In this particular episode, Orel figures out a way that he can masturbate and not spur God's wrath, and I can only imagine what they had to cut out to make this acceptable for television.
The episode begins at Orel's school, probably the only public school where "Jesus" could be an answer on a science test. Orel decides to use the bathroom not to go "number one" or "number two," but to go "number three." He only learned about "number three" recently, and like most adolescent boys, he can't get enough of it. The janitor catches him in the act and sends him to the principal, who explains to Orel that masturbation is actually worse than murder, and spouts off this fractured logic: "Oral, there are some things that are burned so deep into a person's subconscious that you forget just why they're there. You only know that they've scarred you in such a horrible and personal way that they must be right."
Continue reading Moral Orel: God's Chef
Posted Jul 16th 2006 11:06AM by Adam Finley
Filed under: Animation, Adult Swim, Moral Orel

It's been a long wait, and almost a month since we saw a new episode, but the final episode of
Moral Orel (actually the second episode, but let's not argue semantics) is finally going to hit the airwaves on July 30 at 12:15 a.m., if
this schedule is telling the truth. The episode is titled "God's Chef" and the plot revolves around a plan hatched by Orel to masturbate but still get into heaven. I'm already piecing together what that might entail in my twisted brain, but I'm sure whatever Dino and the crew have come up with is far more hilarious than anything I could have imagined.
Posted Mar 23rd 2006 12:22AM by Lacy Hall
Filed under: Other Reality Shows, FOX, OpEd, American Idol, Music and Variety
Well, I am shocked. It looks like Kevin's pact with
the Devil is up, and he has finally been eliminated. I assume this means that the Devil will now collect on Kevin's
soul and he will have to travel to Hell, spending eternity burning in the flames of everlasting darkness. I'm
confused if that's how it actually works because in every "sell your soul to the Devil"
movie I've ever seen, somehow the Devil is tricked into giving the person their soul back. (Which is a little
unfair to the Devil, don't you think? I mean, the guy's got a business to run and people keep breaching their
contracts.) I'm sure Kevin will somehow weasel his way out of his pact as well. Most likely, the Chicken
Little people already have Kevin trademarked and will threaten copyright infringement upon the Devil if he
collects on his soul. Alas, the Devil gets screwed again.
Continue reading American Idol: The Devil Collects a Soul