TVSquad

(S06E02) This is the 100th episode of Family Guy (if the three edited-for-TV episodes of Stewie Griffin: the Untold Story are counted). Not bad for a show that was canceled for a few years.

The plot involves Brian moving in with his vapid sometimes-girlfriend Jillian (voiced by Drew Barrymore). Stewie then joins them to help with the rent. Meanwhile, Meg gets a job at a convenience store and helps Chris get a job there which leads to bad repercussions.

Say it isn't so!

OK, I'll say it: it isn't so.

Seth McFarlane is currently under negotiations with FOX about his new contract. The current contract runs out in early 2007, and McFarlane still hasn't finalized a deal with the network even though the new season is supposed to start filming (um...drawing?) very soon. Variety reports that the production offices are currently closed.

But I say the network and McFarlane make a deal. The show has been a hit and an important show for FOX since coming back, and I don't see them letting it slide away (again). Though wouldn't it be interesting if FOX for some reason didn't renew the contract and NBC picked it up? I don't see that happening, but that would be a cool twist and an instant hit for the Peacock network.

(S05E18)

Diane: In other news, after several grueling days of frightening uncertainty, I finally get my period.

Tom: Well, Diane, I'm sure you and your brother must be devastated by the loss of the two-headed offspring that might have been. 

Hey, Bob's cable is out so I told him I'd cover this week's Family Guy review. If you want to fantasize about Bob while reading this I won't be offended. Okay, let's get to it:

(S05E17) What can you say about an episode of a cartoon that shows that the universe was invented by God farting?

This episode had a big Simpsons vibe to it, where one character tells a historical story and the characters from the show serve as the historical characters as well. This one had Peter telling the rest of the family the story of the Griffin family as they all hide out in a panic room while robbers break into the house. It all starts with the dinosaurs, and the show helpfully gives both the theory of evolution and the intelligent design theory (Jeannie blinked everything into existence).

(S05E15) Hahahahahahahahahaha. Hahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha.

Sorry, I just laughed throughout this entire episode. I guess there's just something really funny about gay dogs getting married and a giant gold statue of Dig 'Em, the Sugar Smacks mascot.

(S05E14) For some reason, Peter starts writing his own porn stories after finding the writing in a porn book to be lacking. This leads to a truly bizarre scene involving some sort of rat (dog?) couple who can't afford to pay their landlord, and the landlord (Peter) says he'll let it go if he can have sex with the rat (dog?) wife.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what the hell was going on there, it was so disturbing.

I watched this earlier today and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know, I just find it funny. It's not every day that you get references to the Olympics, eye boogers, and Mac computers all in one 30 second clip of a TV show.

You can also check out preview clips from this week's 24 and Big Love, but they're not as funny.

(S05E13) There aren't many shows - ever - that would make a Scarecrow and Mrs. King joke. One more reason to love this show.

Brian gets a job as a cabbie ("It's about time I got a job. For God's sake, I'm seven!").  Peter and Lois find out about the community talent show coming up (long story how they find out - it involves Peter and Brian shooting at Lois' car from the taxi and the car crashing), and decide to bring back their folk band (A Handful Of Peter).

Brian gets a $400 parking ticket for parking in a handicapped spot. Meanwhile, Mayor Adam West goes for a pizza and finds the Domino's Noid in his office. He kills him ("Maybe the Domino's Noid should have avoided me").

Well, if there's one reason I'm glad I watched tonight's ep is because I learned exactly how a vasectomy is done. Thanks to the barbershop quartet singing about the procedure and the handy diagram of the scrotum, I now know exactly what it entails.

Peter is going to have a vasectomy, so he decides to freeze is sperm before he does it. This leads to an hysterical yet truly gross scene where Peter knocks over an entire shelf of sperm samples, and has to refill them, um, himself. Flash forward nine months, and a woman gives birth to another Stewie, named Bertram.

Finally: an entire Family Guy episode revolving around Lois' breasts! Well, OK, maybe not an entire episode - I do remember something about Quagmire proposing to someone on a beach - but this episode had one of the more hysterical/disturbing images of this TV season: Lois flashing her breasts to Brian after giving Stewie his lunch. I don't know, I just find a naked talking dog being mesmerized by breasts pretty damn funny.

"This episode contains some animated nudity. Viewer discretion is advised."

Is it wrong that those words make me happy? I mean, I'm not talking that Hentai crap that Greg watches (sorry, inside joke, but the four people that read my column that would get that are probably cracking up) but something about knowing that Fox now has to warn people that you're about to view a cartoon butt so they won't be offended, is so redonkulous that it just makes me giggle. Yes, I did just make up a word. What'cha gonna do. So this is the infamous "hurricane episode" that Fox pulled from being the season premiere to allow the nation some "time to heal". Do you really think one week made a difference? On with the show.

I don't know if this has aired yet (I always forget that Family Guy has had many new episodes this summer), but it's hysterical. Seamless mix of animation, and I love the way Chris says "I don't know!" to Lois at the end. 

Such a deranged idea, but classic!