TVSquad

I love GSN, but there are several things wrong with it.

I don't know about you, but I've had it up to here (hand planted right around nose height) with Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? The network airs the show way, way too much. I'm sure it's popular and there are probably promotional considerations involved, considering it's actually a show that's still on the air (GSN airs both the older Regis Philbin episodes and the newer Meredith Vieira ones), but we really don't need the show on as much as it is.

What would I put on instead? More classic game shows!

If you're like me, you go through these phases where you get obsessed with a certain TV show. Maybe it's because you've never seen it before, maybe you haven't seen it in years, or maybe it's summer and you're looking for good things to watch. Below are five shows that I currently cannot get enough of, and why.

1. Lingo (GSN). Like Joel and Rich, I'm a game show geek. And while I watched this one here and there a few years ago, I've been watching it every single night lately. It's not a great show, but I like the simplicity of it, and Chuck Woolery is a quirky host. I still don't get the co-host though (Stacey a couple of years ago, now it's Shandi). Oh, she's hot and friendly, but what exactly is her job? She sits in front with a keyboard and controls the board? I doubt it. Many times you'll see her say something like "let's start with an N..." and she'll press a key, but the letter has already shown up on the board! So what exactly is her purpose? At least Vanna actually turns letters.

I do like the way Shandi says "Lingo balls" though.

There's always been something about Chuck Woolery that I've liked. He wasn't like the other classic game show hosts that I used to watch in the seventies and eighties; instead of being all about the hair, teeth and deep voice, Chuck was always a relaxed and easy-going presence that seemed like he actually cared about whether the contestants on his shows won or not. So, this actually makes him a perfect guy to sell pretty much anything on TV. I just didn't think he'd sell this:

Lately I've been seeing Chuck in ads that sell real estate in various locales: one in Arkansas and one in New Mexico. The commercials are similar to the ones Erik Estrada does. You know the sales pitch: "Come to Jerkwater Springs! The weather here is great! It's growing by leaps and bounds! And you can buy a lot for only fifty grand!" Then the celebrity offers a free weekend for two in order to entice you to come down and hear the pitch in person. It's all very cheesy, and borderline suspicious.

Here's a crazy notion: teen-age girls are the most powerful force in the English language. Like, that's totally frightening. It's according to the whiz kids over at the University of Toronto's Linguistics department. They recently published research that shows young women pick up on new slang faster than young men. And, shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The O.C. are helping to spread the California Valley Girl lingo across the globe. And it is so much more than just Chrismukkah. One of the researchers says, "Valley Girl has gone beyond a fad and is now rooted in different forms of English around the world." Holy hell. Remember when it was funny to say "as if" and call someone a "Monet", thanks to the movie Clueless?

Here are some words that will help you speak like a teen-age girl (or to one):

• Muffin Top: the belly that hangs over the jeans
• Exogal: skinny
• Truthiness: making statements you believe to be true, but may not be (try using that one in a sentence)
• Whale Tail: thong above the waistband
• Prostitot: child dressed provocatively
• Chickenhead: ugly girl
• Squares: cigarettes
• Creepin' and falsin': cheating and lying
• Lollipalooza: group of cute boys, also known as lollipops
  

Know of any other slang? I'm rather fond of telling people to "Suck It" lately, and I noticed that Jordan on Scrubs used the same phrase last week.

[Via Whedonesque]