TVSquad

God has offered us another conflicting sign that depending on who you ask, he either loves and respects us or is punishing us for doing something really, really bad. Check which chromosome they are carrying before you ask.

Lingerie Bowl VI, that pay-per-view hotbed of halftime entertainment for lonely fantasy football players with too much time and money on their hands, lost their first venue in Florida awhile back. Then, the doomed franchise rose from the ashes like a mighty phoenix when the league's owners found a new venue at a nudist colony in Tampa.

But just as that majestic phoenix spread its flaming wings and took to the skies once again, someone blasted it with a fire extinguisher. The game has been canceled for the second straight year because of a dispute with their new venue.

If part of your Super Bowl plans consisted of watching the Lingerie Bowl on pay-per-view at halftime, then first of all find a girlfriend immediately and secondly, think again.

The St. Petersburg Times reports that the owners of the four-years-young full contact football floozy-off lost their playing field in the zero hour.

This, of course, is a double whammy for the Lingerie Bowl organizers who had to cancel last year's game and hoped to make their big comeback with Super Bowl XLIII. They've also got less than three weeks to find a new venue, or the tears of hundreds of thousands of very, very, very lonely men will evaporate into sorrow vapor, form into a sadness cloud and create a tribulation hurricane the likes of which we have never seen.

The Lingerie Bowl, a pay-per-view special which has aired during halftime of the Super Bowl for the last three years and features women clad in underwear playing football, may be hitting the big screen. Why, you might ask, would they do this? Well, I haven't done a lot of research, but I'm guessing somebody must think half-naked chicks playing football might be a good way to make money. According to the press release that's been making its way around the blogosphere, the movie would feature sexy models, comedians, and famous NFL players. It will also have an "Alien vs. Predator type format." I guess that means if the movie ever gets made there will be at least one scene where one model excoriates another by drooling acid on them. If that's the case, I'll definitely check it out.

This just goes to show how much we don't care about Amy Fisher or Joey Buttafuoco. Last week, Joel told you how producers were shopping around a show where Amy, Joey, and Joey's ex-wife Mary Jo meet on national television. For all you youngsters out there, Amy Fisher is known as the Long Island Lolita. As a teen-ager in the 90s, she had an affair with Joey Buttafuoco and then shot Joey's wife. It became a media circus and there were no less than two made-for-tv movies about it (one starring Drew Barrymore). Someday I'll tell you about Lorena Bobbitt.

I don't know about you guys, but when I heard about this reunion, I was picturing a Jerry Springer-style throw down complete with hair pulling and body guards pulling a flailing Mary Jo off Amy and Joey. Instead, the cast of the Long Island Lolita will play second fiddle to mostly-naked girls in the Lingerie Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday. And, Mary Jo isn't even going to be there! Amy and Joey will meet face-to-face to toss the coin to start off the Lingerie Bowl, which is pay-per-view. Hmmm... something tells me Amy and Joey won't be the reason people will be paying to watch the Lingerie Bowl.