TVSquad

Anyone who's read TV Squad for any period of time knows that we have a bunch of game show fans here. OK, maybe it's just me and Bob. But we've been watching game shows for years and know what works and what doesn't. A challenging premise that allows the viewer to play along? That works. Picking numbered cases at random? That doesn't (at least not after the first five episodes, anyway).

So, when I heard about the changes that were coming to the syndicated Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, I wanted to reserve judgment until I saw them. Now that Meredith Vieira's smiling face has graced my TV for the seventh season opener, I can say that I like most of the changes ... except for one. The new graphics and music are fine, the new lifelines make more sense (more on those in a second). But now there's a clock.

Yeah, you heard me; the show that once let contestants take as much time as they wanted to answer very tough questions now adds the pressure of a time limit. And that's not a good thing.

I don't usually watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire after my local news in the afternoon. After the news is over I usually switch to another channel, but this week they're having a "TV Week," (though it could be a repeat week since it's summer, not sure) so I've been watching every day. And I have to tell you, these contestants don't know much about television.

I don't say this as a guy who writes about television for a living, I'm talking about as a television fan. The questions have been remarkably easy, especially in the early rounds, even up to $25,000, and the players are just failing miserably. Even with the lifelines the show offers! That's inexcusable. Of course, the audience hasn't always been a help either. They screwed over one contestant by saying that Eliza Dushku's show was called Tru Colors and not Tru Calling.

I missed the premiere of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Tuesday night as I had better things to do, like brush my dog's teeth. But curiosity got the best of me Wednesday night and I figured I'd check this show out. Whoa. What a big pile of poo.

I don't think I need to go over everything that's wrong with this show, but as I'm watching it I started to come up with ideas that could make this one kick ass game show and make it feel a lot more like school when I was a kid.

1) If the contestant fails the game, he/she has to sit in the corner of the "classroom". For three episodes. Throw in a dunce cap for good measure.