TVSquad

One of the great things about the web is that almost anything you want to know about is usually just several clicks away. Especially at Google, where they are putting up just about everything you could possibly want to know about.

Case in point: patents. You can search through patents from 1790 to 1996. And that includes patents from celebrity inventors. Did you know that Lawrence Welk patented an ash tray shaped like an accordian? Or how about an enhanced fish attractor device from M*A*S*H's Gary Burghoff? And how about this music display system from Harry Connick, Jr.?

But the most interesting might be the Hydro-Therapeutic Stimulator from Penn Jillette. Basically, it's a large water-filled tub used for, um, sexual stiimulation (for females - sorry, guys).

[via Pop Candy]

Actually, she might have come with no money at all, because I'm not sure if the five cents she stole from a waiter was in Jamestown, NY (where she was from) or in New York City, where she went to become an actress in the 30s. Either way, it makes me feel good to know, since I'm having leftovers again tonight.

This is just one of the TV celebs on this list, which shows what various famous people had in their pockets when they left home to get rich and famous. Lawrence Welk had $3, Roseanne Barr had $400, and Carol Burnett had $1000, but that dwindled to $528 after dental work.

Donald Trump had $200,000.

Hey kids, it's time to break out that ol' guitar, trombone, washboard, monkey trumpet, or whatever the heck else you play and join me in listing the best bands to ever grace the small screen. Today we're going to focus on real bands, but don't worry, there's another "The Five" right around the corner where we'll discuss the best fictional bands on television. But for now:

The Tonight Show Band (under Doc Severinsen): The Johnny Carson era of The Tonight Show came to an end when I was a sophomore in high school, and while I never had the same loathing for Jay Leno many others did, I don't think the show will ever be able to duplicate the vibe created by Carson, Ed McMahon, and bandleader Carl H. Severinsen (his friends call him "Doc"). Don't get me wrong, Kevin Eubanks and the current musicians on the show all have chops to spare, but Doc and his fellow bandmates had a kind of old-time classiness about them I couldn't help but admire. And who could forget those glittery, kitschy suits he used to wear?