TVSquad

What if The CW did a new version of Seinfeld the way they've made new, updated versions of Melrose Place and Bevery Hills, 90210? Well, for one thing, there would be a black guy in it! Here's the video from Funny or Die.

As a bonus, we get a sneak peek at another CW remake, ER.

Joel reported from the Television Critics Association tour yesterday about the Seinfeld reunion that will take place on Curb Your Enthusiasm this season. Now HBO has released the first photo.

The TV neighbor has served many useful roles over the years; some that many thought had been lost by the unrelenting sands of time.

They've become the great modern philosopher like Wilson, the evolving thinker like Bill Dauterive, the bearer of bad news like Newman, and even the court jester -- as long as you don't count one of these guys.

Not only would we not want some of them living next door to us, we wouldn't want them living. Period. These are the annoying next-door neighbors who should have been run out by the Neighborhood Homeowners' Association with torches and pitchforks.

When one of our favorite TV shows goes off the air, it always brings sadness. However, many times, the silver lining in the cancellation is the birth of a spinoff. Sometimes it can be a great thing (Lou Grant) and sometimes the results can be less than ideal (Joey).

Here are some spinoff ideas that I would love to see.

Niles & Daphne
After Frasier leaves Seattle, Niles and Daphne are forced to take in Martin and Eddie. Daphne has to deal with Martin's new and more protective physical therapist (Patti Labelle). To make things worse, Maris moves in next door with her new husband (Jeff Goldblum).

(S05E08) If you see several spelling errors throughout the course of my review, please excuse them. I didn't suddenly forget how to type it's just that... well, after I finished my review of the new NASCAR DVD (24x24 Wide Open with Jeff Gordon), I got pretty excited about how good it was. I mean, I'm not one to toot my own horn, but it was clearly above average (especially considering the source material).

Anyway, I read the review out loud to my wife and when I was done, I threw my keyboard on the floor in triumph!

It got smashed, of course, but you can't blame me, right? That's what artists are supposed to do when they feel like they've accomplished something. At least, that's what I learned tonight watching Dante's performance...

Michael Richards' recent experimentation with Tourette's Syndrome has one fortunate outcome -- it provides a good excuse for me to introduce myself to the readers of TV Squad! I've been a professional stand-up comic for the last four years, and as TV Squad's newest writer I've been asked to give an insider's take on Michael Richard's use of the "N word."

I think the most important fallout from what I will from this point forward call "the Kramer incident" is that Jamie Masada, owner of the Laugh Factory where the Kramer incident took place, has banned the N-Word from his club. A club owner has the right to ban any kind of speech he'd like from his stage (I've worked places where you had to be Disney-clean and places where every foul word on the planet was not only acceptable, but encouraged), but Masada's PR move is fear-driven and wrong.

If you missed Michael Richards' appearance on Letterman's show last night after his racist tirade at a comedy club in West Hollywood, CBS' Late Show Web site has the video, which you can see here.

Setting aside Richards' racial slurs aside for a moment, watching the video of his onstage meltdown made me think of the kind of heated exchanges people get into where one becomes so enraged they reach deep into their reserves for the ultimate atomic bomb of an insult, the one word or phrase they can say that will completely flatten the person who is attacking them, and in Richard's case his racist comments . During his appearance on Letterman's show, Richards acknowledged that he lost his temper, and it seems fairly obvious to me that whatever self-censoring mechanism he had was overrode by his need to take down the people who were heckling him.

The New York City chef who inspired the infamous Soup Nazi character on Seinfeld is expanding his restaurant worldwide. Al Yeganeh plans to open up 50 SoupMan franchises in Britain next year, with openings in Germany, Italy and Japan to follow. His original restaurant, Soup Kitchen International in Manhattan, is what inspired the Soup Nazi episode on Seinfeld. Just like at the American restaurant chain (there are 20), employees will follow Yeganeh's strict rules. Customers must have their money ready and move to the left after ordering or they can be denied service (the rules are on the restaurant website). The employees do not yell, "No Soup For You", however. It's amazing to me that he's still making money on the venture, considering the episode aired in 1995.

Anybody ever eaten at a SoupMan restaurant? How's the mulligatawny?

[Via TV Tattle]

Let me preface this by saying I think Jerry Seinfeld is a funny guy and that Seinfeld is one of the great sitcoms of all-time.

OK, having said that...

I was watching the Seinfeld episode where George breaks up with a woman but he wants to go over to her house and get the books that he left there. Jerry asks him what this obsession with books is that people have. You've read the book, so why do you need to keep it on your shelf like it's a work of art of something? This gets a big laugh of the audience. You've read the book, who cares what happens to it?

So I guess this means that if I contact Seinfeld he'll send me all of his CDs and DVDs? Hey, he's listened to/watched them once, I'm sure he doesn't need them anymore.