TVSquad

Animal Planet has once again slated the Puppy Bowl (this one is number 5) to take place on February 1st, the same day as the Super Bowl. The National Anthem will be sung by a parrot and there will be a half-time show involving kitties. Sometimes you just can't make this stuff up.

I was informed that there was some excitement last year when one of the puppies knocked down a dalmatian who was carrying the ball and was penalized as a result and taken out of the game. I don't know exactly how that works, but it sounds exciting.

It's a cute gimmick that the Animal Planet has developed. You can't get much cheaper and cuter than filming puppies playing in a faux football stadium and people that watch puppies are definitely a different niche than those that watch football.

Still, there is some room for improvement. Why not throw a few bunnies and hamsters in there to liven things up? How would you improve the Puppy Bowl?

There are so many jobs I'd love to have. I'd love to ghostwrite Melanie Griffith's blog "In 2 Me C." I'd love to join Jackie Chan's stunt team, but mostly, I'd love to produce Puppy Bowl. Sadly, the job has already been taken by Discovery Productions' Molly Hermann. For those of you who turn a blind eye to Super Bowl counter programming, the Puppy Bowl is the annual Animal Planet alternative to the blockbuster sporting event.

Puppy Bowl is the furry equivalent of those Yule Log or Aquarium DVDs that you pop in your player to create party time ambiance. It's like watching a traffic camera trained on one corner for three hours. Puppies come. Puppies go. Puppies drink water from a see-through bowl with a "water cam" attached to its underside. This year, Puppy Bowl included a Puppy Tailgate party and a Kitty Halftime Show to spice things up, but mostly, it really is just puppies running around in front of a handful of still cameras for three hours. It's the most adorable Warhol film ever.

Washington Post readers were lucky enough to chat with Hermann online prior to Puppy Bowl airtime. She provided some behind-the-scenes details to the annual pooch extravaganza. Among the shocking revelations: