TVSquad

I've always enjoyed jingles, you know, those catchy commercial tunes that get in your head and never leave. "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." See, after all these years, it's still there. I wonder if Gene Simmons would have liked that McDonald's jingle?

We'll soon find out what the Kiss star likes in musical commercial craftsmanship because Gene Simmons has been tapped as one of the judges on the CBS reality show Jingles. It's a competition show, from producer Mark Burnett, he of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, Survivor and The Apprentice fame. We'll just forget about the ones that didn't fly, like On the Lot (that was painful to watch), Pirate Master (unwatchable) and Rock Star: INXS (truly a train wreck).

Jingles should be pretty challenging for contestants; it's hard to fake it when it comes to writing words and lyrics. The winner gets a contract with an advertising agency and $100,000.

(S04E15) "All right, one more time for the slow kid." - Lee Scanlon

When I was in grade school, sixth grade to be precise, everyone brought their lunch to school in a small brown paper bag, sometimes, girls used a cute version (white bag with hearts, pink bag with kitties) but other than that, there were no exceptions. If anyone was foolish enough to bring their mid day meal to school in a lunchbox of any kind, they would pay dearly. For example, my friend Lance who quickly earned the nickname "Lunchbox Lance" all because of his love for the rock band Kiss. Thankfully, it never occurred to Lance to fight back like the young man in Allison's dream. However, now that I am an adult and I collect vintage metal lunchboxes, I would pay a hefty price for the lunchbox that young man used to bludgeon his tormentor.

All fans of the FOX series Bones know what kiss I'm talking about because we had been waiting for it for 2 and a half years! Brennan and Booth finally kissed (thanks to some meddling from Caroline Julian) during last week's episode.

In his review of the episode, Richard said "The kiss was performed under duress and a bit of blackmail due to the puckish nature of Caroline Julian. So, it wasn't as intense as you would think their eventual first kiss would be." Well, Richard and all Bones fans out there, thanks to the magic of YouTube (and a tip on Ask Ausiello), we can now all enjoy a more intense kiss that lasts way longer than ten steamboats!

After having a slew of beautiful faces grace the set, Ugly Betty is well-known for its guest stars. I mean, come on, they got Victoria "Major!" Beckham. It doesn't get much more fabulous than that. Following the logical progression of guests, the next celebrity preparing to shoot a spot on the campy fashion show is... Gene Simmons.

Yeah, I'm confused too. Reading this article doesn't make me feel any better, as it looks like Mr. Simmons is determined to keep the details of his appearance super hush-hush. Past guests have been pretty open about their roles, so I'm starting to wonder if Simmons is going to play a significant, storyline-shifting part. Dare I speculate that he's Amanda's real daddy?

Hmm... Fey Sommers and Gene Simmons. For some reason, the idea of Simmons having a secret sex room doesn't seem so far-fetched.

Do you like KISS? Sure, we all do. I can't get enough of Gene, Paul, Ace, Benji, Maynard, Cuddle Pie, and Pooky Bear.

Okay, so I'm not a KISS fan, but if you are, you might want to tune in to VH1 Classic tomorrow evening.

As a promotion for the upcoming DVD, KISSology: Volume Two 1978-1991, band members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley will host KISSology: The Volume 2 Special on VH1 Classic starting at 10:00 p.m., August 10. The special will feature material from the DVD, including music videos and rare footage of the band.

When I was watching The Riches on Monday night, FX had ads for the season finale of Dirt on fairly heavy rotation. Of course, the big promotional point of the ad was that Jennifer Aniston was going to guest star on her Friends buddy Courteney Cox's show... and they were going to kiss! In fact, not only did FX make a huge deal out of this kiss, but tabloid entertainment shows and morning news shows all over the country breathlessly touted "Courteney and Jennifer's lesbian kiss!" for weeks leading up to the episode.

Aussiello at TV Guide is saying that Jennifer Aniston's upcoming guest appearance on Dirt will have a kissing scene with former Friends co-star Courtney Cox. Aniston will play Cox's rival, the editor of another gossip magazine, who also happens to be a lesbian. Aussiello writes, "She won't just mouth off to Cox's tightly wound counterpart; she's going to share a lip lock with her."

That is open to interpretation. It could just be a smack on the lips or an all-out make-out fest. Gee, I wonder which would get better ratings?

Aniston guest stars on the season finale of Dirt on Tuesday, March 27th.

The preview for this weeks Blade teased a kiss between Krista (Jill Wagner) and Chase (Jessica Gower). In celebration of that possibility, I thought now would be a good time to touch on other girl-girl kisses in our television history. Sometimes they are to make a statement. Sometimes they are a ploy to grab ratings. And every once in a while, it's just a natural part of the story. Here are the five that come to mind first for me.

Roseanne (Roseanne Barr) and Sharon (Mariel Hemingway) - Roseanne
This was an important moment in television. At the time, there was no L-Word, and two girls kissing was still a very controversial thing. Roseanne has her faults, to be sure, but standing up to the network to get this episode on the air is something to be proud of.

Ally (Calista Flockhart) and Ling (Lucy Liu) - Ally McBeal
This one strikes me as somewhat the opposite of the Roseanne kiss. There was much less statement, and much more ratings grabbing sensationalism in this lip-lock. In that regard, it worked very well. Of course, the gang over at Ally McBeal had plenty of practice. Along with Ling, Ally also kissed Georgia (Courtney Thorne-Smith) and Elaine (Jane Krokowski). But if I have to pick one, it's Ling every time. And yes, I was an Ally McBeal fan.

(S06E03) The Simpsons has done more than a few clip shows in its almost two decades of existence, and while these looks back at past episodes usually tend to be the least favorite among fans for obvious reasons, I will say that at least the episodes are framed in such a way as to still make them worth watching. Besides, you get to see some great scenes from past episodes. It's like a slideshow that's not quite so boring, you know?

This could explain a lot. Star Magazine and the gals on The View are reporting that Skating with Celebrities pair Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisler are now an item. On Monday's episode, these two really sizzled. Kristy seemed a lot more comfortable with Lloyd than she had in the past episodes. She almost kissed him on the lips at the end of their routine, but he turned and she got his neck instead. I know she's an actress, but she looked totally smitten with him during that whole routine. Whatever it was, something changed for those two between the fourth and fifth competition. If it is true, it's not all happy. Lloyd's wife is eight months pregnant with their second child.

They're only three weeks in and Gene Simmons and the kids have four weeks until their final exam (opening for Motorhead). Simmons is looking for a keyboard player so he holds auditions. The kids play fairly well but it's usually only classical pieces. Camilla, with her hair pulled tight behind her head, is still not into the whole rock scene. During the audition, she finally lets her hair down (literally), and swings it about a bit while playing a piece. It's definitely not a rock piece but she tripped up on so many notes that she decided to let go and speed it up. It added something extra and Simmons was impressed to see this change in Camilla's efforts.