TVSquad

I'm sure by now you've all heard that Keith Richards (didn't) snort his late father's ashes. That particular story popped up no fewer than seventy-eight zillion times yesterday during my usual perusal of the news and entertainment sites.

However, I'm not especially trusting of our news media, and I knew that only Conan O'Brien would be able to get to the bottom of Richards' alleged daddy-snorting habit. I've placed a clip below in which Keith himself explains to Conan exactly what he prefers when it comes to ingesting his family members. The Rolling Stones guitarist may have led a wild life of debauchery and excess, but you can't deny the man has discerning tastes. Also, he had his teeth brushed just for the occasion. You have to admire the man's commitment to oral hygiene.

Clip after the jump.

Just in case Mick Jagger or, God forbid, Keith Richards decides to flash us, ABC was already planning to put a 5-10 second delay on the halftime show. Now it will also be ready in case Matt Hasselbeck decides to moon the camera. For the first time in the Super Bowl's 40-year history, the entire event will be broadcast with a five-second delay. That includes pre-game, game, and post-game coverage. Gee, I wonder what that's all about. It couldn't be the thing that wouldn't die, AKA Janet Jackson's accidental or intentional boob reveal during the halftime show two years ago, could it? Apparently ABC doesn't want the $550,000 in fines that CBS had to pay for that major nip slip. Last year, FOX refused to put a tape delay on its broadcast of the Super Bowl. FOX network said it was treating the game "as a news event".

The Parents Television Council publicly praised ABC for going with the delay. The group president said, "ABC has wisely decided to ensure that this year's Super Bowl is not hijacked by raunchy performers as it was in 2004."

Now that the sex will be taken care of, what about all the shots of the coaches and players yelling curse words? Come on! We may not be able to hear them but we know they're not yelling about figs.