TVSquad

I've always enjoyed jingles, you know, those catchy commercial tunes that get in your head and never leave. "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." See, after all these years, it's still there. I wonder if Gene Simmons would have liked that McDonald's jingle?

We'll soon find out what the Kiss star likes in musical commercial craftsmanship because Gene Simmons has been tapped as one of the judges on the CBS reality show Jingles. It's a competition show, from producer Mark Burnett, he of Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, Survivor and The Apprentice fame. We'll just forget about the ones that didn't fly, like On the Lot (that was painful to watch), Pirate Master (unwatchable) and Rock Star: INXS (truly a train wreck).

Jingles should be pretty challenging for contestants; it's hard to fake it when it comes to writing words and lyrics. The winner gets a contract with an advertising agency and $100,000.

If you're in the camp that believes that Tony was whacked by the Members-Only jacketed man in the final blackout of The Sopranos, then you'll probably be pleased to know that Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito Jr. has taken a shot at the HBO drama, too.

During a recent speech at New Jersey's Rutgers University, Justice Alito opined that the Emmy-winning series besmirched not only Italians, but citizens of the Garden State, too. "You have a trifecta - gangsters, Italian-Americans, New Jersey - wedded in the popular American imagination," he said to a crowd of about 100. He was speaking about the stereotypes Italian-Americans have had to live with in the United States. Clearly, The Sopranos would be just the kind of depiction to draw his ire. After all, Uncle Junior and Paulie Walnuts are not characters to be emulated and admired, and creator David Chase never said they were.

Remember the sobbing judge who turned the Anna Nicole Smith custody case into an audition tape for himself? He's off the bench. Judge Larry Seidlin has resigned from his position of 29 years and he's not saying where he's going. But, I'm guessing he's making a beeline for a television camera.

When Seidlin was all over television a few months back, he was reportedly being wooed by at least one network for a little face time. In his resignation, Seidlin didn't say exactly what he'll be doing, except that he has "a further commitment to helping my fellow citizens through roles in the educational system, media, and non-profit organizations." I highlighted a key word there because I'm guessing we'll be seeing Judge Larry's emotional outbursts on television sometime soon.

Anyone want to guess what type of show he'll be getting?

*UPDATE: Yup, he's got a TV show. He'll be filming a pilot for CBS Television Distribution.

Funnyman Graham Norton will be hosting a new reality pilot for Lifetime.

The new show will serve as a kind of popularity contest in which an audience of women vote off one woman at a time from a group of seven as they answer challenges and tackle different challenges. The Hollywood Reporter article doesn't go into much detail than that, so it's hard to say exactly what the hell the point of the show is supposed to be, other than showing women at their most judgmental and catty. Oh yeah, and the show was originally called Judgment Day, which probably isn't a good sign, either.

Norton will still appear in TV in the UK. The Graham Norton Show, his BBC2 series, hits BBC America on June 2. Previously, he hosted So Graham Norton, a Channel 4 series that was adapted into an American version which ran on Comedy Central for a short time.

You folks might recall that a man running for Sheriff in Grant County, Wisconsin changed his name from "William Harold Fenrick" to "Andrew Jackson Griffith" so he could run under the name "Andy Griffith" and hopefully use the iconic name to win the election.

He didn't win.

He did, however, have a lawsuit filed against him by Andy Griffith, the actor who played Andy Taylor on the Andy Griffith Show. Recently, however, a judge dismissed the case, saying that Fenrick did not violate any copyright and that what he did was protected under the First Amendment. I'm not a fancy big city lawyer, so I can't say much about this.

It's pilot season in Los Angeles, which means it's time for underemployed writers to slip on their parkas and head into sub-Artic studios to attend the tapings of television shows that may never see the light of day.

The novelty of attending a pilot taping wears off pretty quickly. If you've ever attended the taping of any television show, you know that there is a copious amount of waiting involved. Sitting and waiting and freezing. Picking out which audience members were bussed in versus which ones actually know what show they're attending can only occupy you for so long.

While this news probably won't affect the show one bit, Fleshbot has uncovered that Top Design judge and LA interior designer Kelly Wearstler was once known as Kelly Gallagher, September 1994's Playmate of the Month. Her stated ambition - to "own my own marvelous design and furnishings business." Way to achieve, Kelly.

Kelly is also turned on by "fabulous, intense minds, honesty, huge smiles and a man with a colossal heart." Her turn-offs include "bad design," but we already knew that. Kelly, I think it's time to pull some strings. I see a Top Design "redesign Hef's grotto" challenge in the works. With the way this clunker of a show is going, It couldn't hurt.

NOTE: Be forewarned. Neither the link to Fleshbot nor Playboy are work-friendly... unless, of course, you work at Fleshbot or Playboy.

When a cellphone-created video of Saddam Hussein's execution started rocketing around the Internet, news directors were torn as to whether to show it or not, according to The Hollywood Reporter. In the video, which we showed here, we not only see images of the hanging itself but also a contentiousness between Hussein and the people in the chamber, audio of which was conveniently left out of the Iraqi government's official video of the event.

Most networks decided to show the yelling between Saddam and the executioners and witnesses, judging that the audio gave additional context to the event, but they decided not to show his body actually falling through the gallows, deciding to stop at the point where the noose gets put around his neck. However, CNN.com showed a little bit more, stopping right before the hanging itself, and FoxNews.com showed the entire thing. Only MSNBC stayed consistent between its network and web site, just showing the first few seconds.

Ladies, who do you fantasize about when you're making sweet love to your partner? 'American Idol' judge Simon Cowell? Well, in wacky ole England, Cowell has placed second on a list of women's dream men right after "007" Daniel Craig. Cowell beat out David Beckham, Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio. Speaking with The Sun, Cowell had this to say about the honor: "I would expect to be very near the top as I'm obviously extremely attractive."

I'm not sure Cowell would even place in the top 10 stateside. What do you think it is that makes England's ladies weak in the knees for the bad boy judge? Could it be the tough, man hair that peeks out of his V-neck sweaters? The confidence? The power? Do they think he'd take charge in the sack? Frankly, he seems like the kinda guy that probably cries after sex. I wonder if in the British broads' fantasies, there's a panel of judges ranking their amorous activities upon completion -- something like Woody Allen's 'Bananas.' Just don't expect much for the East German judge.

Related:
Gee, your hair smells like Simon Cowell
Simon Cowell won't sing for Ricky Gervais' Extras

(S01E08) After seeing this episode (which just confirmed something I thought anyway), I'm not quite sure while people are so annoyed by the show's supposed liberalism and "east and west coast" mentality. This show is doing two things. One, it's sparking debate about a lot of serious issues (religion, gay rights, tolerance, politics), and two, it makes sure it dumps on liberals and Democrats and Hollywood just as much as much as they do flyover country, religious people, and Pahrump, Nevada. There's enough to go around on both sides.

I think a lot of viewers who don't like the show (and I truly don't understand why they're watching it week after week if they can't stand it) don't get the fact that just because the show dares to bring up the above topics, that it dares to even suggest that these topics are a hot-button issues and there might be a way to actually get along, doesn't mean that it's "against" anything.

While no deal has been reached just yet, a couple gossipy type sites are saying a top American cosmetics company is trying to woo Simon Cowell into launching his very own line of toiletries, including a perfume. This has apparently been verified by Cowell's publicist, so keep an eye out for various products with the name "Simon Cowell" on them designed to make you smell all pretty and stuff. I'm not sure exactly what products will be available if the deal goes through, but I assume they'll not only improve skin and hair, but also shatter your childhood dreams and viciously humiliate you as well. His publicist also says that a product with Cowell's name on it will generate a lot of interest, which I don't necessarily believe. If I need someone to tell me I'm singing Arthur's Theme off key he's the first man I'll turn to, but I don't have any desire to purchase face cream from him.

Jon Lovitz is set to star as the judge in a new unscripted series for NBC called Bad Judge. The series will use the same format of real people trying to solve real grievances that made shows like The People's Court and Judge Judy so popular, but Lovitz will act more as comic relief, and his decisions will have little or no bearing on the actual law. The new series was conceived by Josh Lieb, who has written scripts for NewsRadio and The Simpsons, as well as the upcoming Big Stan with Rob Schneider. I think this new series could actually be really funny, since it's allowing Lovitz to improv in his own way, which I think always results in his best stuff.

Simon Cowell always has something up his sleeve, doesn't he? Just when we thought we heard all we could hear about the impressive list of singers and celebrities he's signed for his FOX series Celebrity Duets, he pulls yet another impressive name out of his hat. In an interview with TVGuide.com, Cowell let slip that one of the judges will be none other than Little Richard. He will team with legendary producer David Foster and a yet-to-be-determined third judge (likely female) to make up the three-headed judging cabal that Cowell has perfected on American Idol, America's Got Talent, and his British hit The X-Factor (why Sharon Osbourne isn't judging one of Simon's American shows, I'll never know). He also told writer Matt Webb Mitovich that Gladys Knight has been added to the roster of singers recruited for the show.

Between this and his constantly running Geico commercial ("Mashed Potatoes! Gravy! And Cranberry Sauce! Awoooooo!"), Little Richard seems to be making a bit of a cultural comeback, isn't he? Hey, despite his bad plastic surgery and... uh... flamboyance... he's a legend and deserves whatever kind of attention he gets, even at this late age.

They are there to maintain order, or just add to the chaos, but they are an essential part of the television's fake judicial system. Today we honor the people we call "your honor." It's time to judge the judges, but not too harshly. Here we go:

Judge Wapner (The People's Court): Long before there was Judge Judy or any number of cranky old people in robes bellowing from the bench, there was Joseph A. Wapner, who didn't tolerate any shenanigans from anyone and sometimes ruled the court room like a drill sergeant. Nevertheless, his decisions always seemed fair to me, and I often saw him decide for the party he seemed to personally dislike the most. A much mellower version of him turned up years later on Animal Court, but I liked the old surly Wapner better.

Comedy Central is launching Test Pilots, an online competition in which people can submit one to five minute shows with the grand prize being a development deal to produce the series for Comedy Central's "Motherload" broadband site. Comedy Central is doing the contest in collaboration with IFILM, which was bought by parent company MTV Networks back in October. Rather than simply having the work judged by Comedy Central, three new pilots will be shown each week for viewers to vote on. Once four finalists have been chosen the grand prize winner will be picked by a panel of Comedy Central judges. Submissions are being accepted from May 22 to August 24, so if you have any ideas, whether it be live-action, animated, or whatever, go check out the details.

[via Lost Remote]