TVSquad

I decided to bite the bullet and watched the two-hour (!) premiere of 90210 last night. Because the CW decided to not bother sending screeners of either episode to critics, I was girding myself for a show that made me want to wince every thirty seconds or so.

In that regard, it didn't do as badly as I thought. I only winced about once per minute.

Of course, that wasn't a good thing. My fellow Squadder Kona gave the show a "liked it but it needs work" review, and I agree with her about the "needs work" part. I mean, come on! The kids were cliches, the acting was stiff, and the dialogue was boring. I mean, hell, even Jessica Walter's character seemed like it was a caricature of the "slutty, boozy old broad" character we've seen a hundred times before.

But as soon as I saw that girl's head lift up from Ethan's lap in that first segment of the show, I realized something: The CW doesn't want me watching this show.

Talk about a mismatch: Even though there are plenty of people in the press tour audience who fit in The CW's target demographic of women age 18-34, most of the people who seem to grab the microphone and ask questions during most sessions are firmly not in that demo. In fact, their demo could be described as "men, age 35 - infinity." Hearing some of them ask questions of the young stars of 90210, for instance, sounds almost creepy.

That being said, the CW sessions are always good to attend for two reasons: 1) the comedy stylings of communications chief Paul McGuire, and 2) the frustrating non-answers given by CW entertainment president Dawn Ostroff. Both are entertaining in their own way.

A lot of hilarious, yet terrible, things run in the Bluth family--huge mistakes, catchphrases, and unconventional modes of transportation. In honor of TV Squad's Arrested Development week, let's take a look at some of the qualities that make the Bluths unique.

Drinking and Drug Problems - Lucille's drinking problem is world-famous, but the other Bluths have been known to use alcohol and drugs on occasion. Lindsay had some issues with Zanatab back when she was part of "The Solution," and Buster can't get enough juice. G.O.B. frequently used roofies (known to him as forget-me-nows) on other people during his magic career. In the clip below, the Bluth siblings and Tobias got drunk to prepare themselves for an intervention. Michael only lets loose when he's drunk, and it's a wonderful thing to see. I love that he's wearing a Franklin wig.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

(S01E02) Many people will tell you that they got sucked into Arrested Development by its pilot. I wasn't. For some reason, I didn't watch the pilot when it first aired. But that's just fine, because the second episode, "Top Banana," was a perfect representation of everything AD ended up being. Throwaway jokes. Quick cut-aways and flashbacks. Subtle catchphrase generation. A "lesson of the week" couched in vicious barbs between members of the Bluth family. Oh, and two words that I'll never forget: "No touching!"

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

(S02E01) Here's the rundown. Michael and his son leave for Phoenix. Well, not really. Michael needs money so he ends up going back to his old life at the model home in order to track down the company check book.

While Michael tries to do something productive, the rest of the siblings are into the usual mischief. When she and Tobias decide to explore an open relationship, Lindsay falls for a real estate agent. Tobias readies himself to join the Blue Man Group, excited at this new acting opportunity. GOB, who has been put in charge of the company, finds the contracts with Saddam Hussein but inadvertently gives them to his father who is dressed up like Oscar, George Sr.'s twin brother. Buster reconnects with Uncle Oscar but gets enlisted in the army by Lucille.

And at the end of the day, the Bluths realize they all need each other. If they didn't, it wouldn't be Arrested Development.

Do not adjust your web browser. You are now entering the Retro Squad, where we are reviewing past episodes of classic TV shows.

(S01E01) Some shows come out of the gate with such a power that you can't help but stand up and take notice. For the far too few of us who happened to catch Arrested Development when it premiered, it quickly established that it was going to be something a little different than the other comedy fare on the television. The trend at the time was moving toward the single camera format, that's almost become the norm for comedies nowadays (The Office, My Name is Earl, hell NBC's entire Thursday night lineup).

There was a time when audiences were less receptive to this kind of television. It was funny, but minus a laugh track. So while shows like The King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond and even According to Jim had this comfortable format with the basic house set and laughter to cue us into the funny bits, AD was something a bit more challenging. Perhaps it was just a few years ahead of its time, or perhaps it was on the wrong network (FOX), or perhaps it was just too smart for its own good.

Earlier this week, The CW released this promotional picture of the 90210 regular cast. From left to right: Dustin Milligan, AnnaLynne McCord, Jessica Walter, Shenae Grimes, Tristan Wilds, Lori Loughlin, Ryan Eggold, Jessica Stroup and Michael Steger.

If you've been keeping up with information about the spin-off, you know that there is someone missing from that picture. No, it's not Jennie Garth or Tori Spelling since they will be recurring/guest stars. But it's the actor who'll play the pivotal character of Harry Mills, a father who relocates his family in Beverly Hills to take care of his mother.

The Beverly Hills 90210 spin off was looking for an actress in her 60's who could play an actress and alcoholic. Who better for the role than Arrested Development's Jessica Walter? After all, she is an actress and her AD role of Lucille Bluth required that she pretends to be drinking/drunk in a lot of episodes!

TV Guide and Entertainment Weekly confirmed earlier today that the actress was cast in the lead role of Tabitha Mills, an actress who had her career prime in the 70s and who is now best friends with a liquor bottle. Worried about his mother's well-being, her son Harry moves his family to Beverly Hills.

That's what a reporter in England is pushing for. He has started an online petition to have the Bluths come back together for an Xmas special in 2009.

So far reporter Eddie Wrenn has 3000 signatures, which, while nice, isn't enough to get anyone's attention. But it's the first step in a campaign to get Jason Bateman, Jessica Walter, Michael Cera, Ron Howard and company to come back and do a special for fans. And that's something that's a lot more realistic than some fans who try to get a show to come back full time on some network's schedule (as if actors don't move on to other projects and are just waiting around to be called back).

More shows should do this. Not only would they please fans, I think it would show some good will towards those fans and probably increase DVD sales as well. Yeah, I can imagine an Arrested Development special every couple of years.

I love it when TV shows end and they hold auctions for props and clothing that were on the show. When Ed ended, I got a few things from an auction they held at the set in New Jersey.

Now, Arrested Development fans who are miss the show can at least grab a piece of the show so it will always be with them. If you're in L.A. this weekend, May 19 to the 21, FOX will hold a Bluth Family Estate Sale. Included will be one of GOB's magic casket, Lucille's parking sign, and furniture from Lucille's living room.

[via Gawker]

Ok, we've done our lists of the hottest female TV personalities over 40 and the hottest over 50. We were happy to see that we came up with plenty of names for both lists. But would we be able to come up with five women to make hearts go thump amongst the TV ladies over 60? No problem!

For this list, I decided to consider all women over 60, not just the ones that were between 60 and 69. The reason for that was simple: can you think of any woman on the air that's over 70 or 80? I can only think of two over-70 women, both of whom are on the Honorable Mentions list. And the one over-80 woman I can think of is Betty White, whom I've never really considered to be all that sexy (covers head waiting for the tomatoes to fly in). Oh, and for those who say "Diane Keaton": I love her and think she's extremely sexy, but I still primarily think of her as a film actress, even though she's been doing a lot of TV movies lately.

So, after the jump, my list of women who would make for a hot date and get a discount at the movies at the same time. Who could beat that?

It's official: FOX hates Arrested Development.

How else to explain this scheduling decision? They've scheduled the final four episodes to run in a 2 hour block (so far, so good...) on Friday, February 10...against the opening night of the Olympics. [Insert heavy sigh here.]

This is bad on so many levels. First of all, even without the whole Olympics thing, it's a Friday night, one of the least-watched nights of TV during the week (next to Saturday). And it's also up against NBC's coverage of the Olympics opening ceremonies. It's as if FOX said, "you're a really funny, high quality, critically-adored show that we won't support, and now we'll kick you in the genitals!"

I can understand cancelling a show because it doesn't get good ratings. That's a business decision (though I would think the network would understand the value of critical success, fan fervor, and buzz). But why do they treat the show like it has cooties and they have to keep it away from other shows, or hide it like it's they're embarrassed by even having it on the schedule?