TVSquad

You know, we can snicker all we want at the allegations that Subway spokesman Jared Fogle spent his days at Indiana University running a successful porn rental business out of his apartment, but give the man credit for knowing his customer base and how to run a successful business. If there's one thing college males want as much as beer and weed, it's porn. Also, keep in mind this is pre-internet, so folks had to get their porno from somewhere. And let's not pretend, fellas, that none of us have ever seen a pornographic movie. I myself have a collection of over one hundred tapes. They're not video tapes, they're audio cassettes, and I listen to them while I'm jogging. I like to imagine it's how porno would have been done back in the RKO radio days.

So there you have it: before he became that fat guy who got kinda less fat by walking and eating Subway sandwiches, he had a lucrative career as a porn distributor. He's got business savvy, you gotta give him that.

Jared Fogle, the man who lost over 200 pounds dining on Subway sandwiches, has just released his first book. The book is a detailed account of every sexual encounter he's ever had, complete with full-color photographs.

I'm sorry, that's actually the book that I'm writing, though really it's more of a pamphlet. Fogle has written a book called Jared the Subway Guy: Winning Through Losing: 13 Lessons for Turning Your Life Around. The book jacket reads that the book is written "with Anthony Bruno," so we can assume Bruno wrote the book, though I'm sure Fogle, like, said stuff to him. That's kind of like being a writer. Anyway, it's not a diet book, since we already know the secret of his success, but it is a motivational book to encourage people to succeed just as he did. If you want a book that teaches you how to have a lucrative sponsorship deal fall into your lap because you devised some completely inane method of weight loss involving a popular restaurant chain, then you should buy several copies right away.

[via Best Week Ever]

You all know Jared Fogle. He's the guy who lost thirty kajillion pounds by eating nothing but Subway sandwiches (veggie and turkey, of course... what, you think he lost weight on foot-long chicken parm subs?) and has basically been the chain's spokesman ever since. He's been an inspiration to a lot of people who are overweight. But, honestly, there are some places that I really don't want to see old Jared's smiling face.

One of them is on the post-game show after a thrilling NFL playoff game. Right after the Steelers stunned the Colts in a wild game, the CBS studio guys discussed the game and interviewed Steelers players. So far, so good. But then Greg Gumbel throws it over to Jared, dressed in a Colts jersey and surrounded by those flavorless Subway sandwiches. "I know you guys are going to Denver next week, and I wanted to send you off with some good food," is the gist of what Jared unconvincingly said to the studio crew as he waved his hand over the subs. Greeeaaat. Look, CBS, I know it's called the Subway Post-Game Show. But having Jared in the studio was completely tasteless and silly, especially after such an exciting playoff game. I mean, what's next? Is Boomer Esiason going to munch on Domino's Chicken Kickers during next week's pre-game show?