TVSquad

While we all mourn the demise of the celebrity Roast, I thought this might be a good time to reflect back on a time when the master, Don Rickles, used just the right combination of acerbic wit and what would today be called "political incorrectness" for hilarious results.

All comedians, in their own way, are skilled at keeping an audience engaged, but very few can match the likes of Don Rickles. There are a lot of angry comedians out there, and even some who aren't afraid to take a few shots at the audience, but Rickles' act was only ostensibly about insults. At its core, it was about creating a kind of communal moment in which no one was the butt of the joke because everyone was the butt of the joke.

Like Paul, I don't watch the Tonys, which isn't saying much because I don't watch the Oscars or the Emmys, either. The only award show I'll watch is the People's Choice Awards, and only because I didn't figure out until recently that the winners aren't all chosen by Nia Peeples. I just have a lot of respect for her opinion, I'm not sure why.

Anyway, Late Night with Conan O'Brien's resident insult dog puppet, Triumph, was as the Tony Awards (equipped with his Gaydar 4000), and as usual when Triumph crashes an event, the results are freaking hysterical. I want so badly to list all of my favorite lines from the bit, but since I don't want to ruin it for those who haven't seen it, check out the video below.

Ah, now it's on, bee-otch! You may be able to get away with insulting the President, but no one talks smack about The View. Wait, what am I saying? Everyone talks smack about The View. It's incredibly talk-smackable, or smack-talkable, or whatever. Anyway, I missed this morning's episode because I was busy engaging in one of forty million other activities I enjoy instead of watching that particular yakfest, but apparently the ladies took some objection to a comment one of the Dixie Chicks made to Newsweek. One member stated, "Would Bruce do The View?" referring to Bruce Springsteen and his career path, which the Dixie Chicks hope to emulate. I'm not sure which is stranger to me, their attack on The View or that they actually think they're in the same league as Bruce Springsteen.

I've been listening to magician Penn Jillete's radio show for awhile now, and it's become perfectly clear that no matter how much he likes you, he'll still insult you. During yesterday's program, which you can listen to here, he and guest Criss Angel spent the hour slamming David Blaine and his stunt in front of Lincoln Center. This isn't the first time Penn has lobbed insults at Blaine, although he always prefaces those insults by saying he does admire Blaine as a performer. Penn's assertion is that most of the card tricks Blaine does could easily be learned by anyone in under six minutes. Of course, one should take Penn's penchant for exaggeration into consideration, as well. Angel, also a fan of Blaine's, claimed he has already done Blaine's underwater stunt, having been submerged in a tank for twenty-four hours. Since math wasn't my best subject I haven't been able to figure out how twenty-four hours is the same as seven days, but there you go. Penn also reiterated something he's been saying all week, which is that his partner Teller has been underwater for more than eleven minutes on more than one occasion as part of their stage show, considerably more than the current record of eight minutes and fifty-eight seconds. Of course, Penn then adds this caveat: "Of course, he was cheating."

So yeah, it's a bit after the fact, but if you want to hear magicians talking smack, it's worth a listen.