TVSquad

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

I don't care how much controversy there is, why would anyone want to buy the Jon & Kate Plus 8 DVDs? Would you really want to sit around a year or two or five from now and watch the episodes again? Why?

There's a new Route 66 DVD set out, Season 3, Volume 1, but if you got the Season 3 collector's set from Best Buy or Critic's Choice, they've issued a recall.

• Charlie's Angels - Season 4
• The Donna Reed Show - Season 2
• Hotel - Season 1
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 - Season 4, Vol. 2
• The Lucy Show - Season 1

You'll never look at infomercials the same way again.

The ShamWow pitchman, whose real name is Vince Shlomi, was arrested in South Beach in Florida for getting into an altercation at a hotel. Seems that he paid $1000 for the services of a prostitute for an evening, and when he started to kiss her, she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go! So he started to punch her several times until she let go of his tongue. He ran to the lobby and had hotel workers call the cops.

It's not the first time the prostitute was arrested, but she's thinking about suing Shlomi for the incident. I guess she didn't love his nuts. Charges against both of them have been dropped.

This actually happened last month, according to The Smoking Gun, which has all of the details (of course), including Shlomi's mug shot. They even have an interview with the woman involved.

On July 26 at 11:00 p.m., Bravo's new docu-series Welcome to the Parker will debut. It will then fall into its regular timeslot of Thursdays at 10:00 p.m. starting August 2.

The new series takes a look inside the five-star Parker Palms Springs hotel, run by Samir Chraibi. Some episodes will include a suite being trashed by Hollywood types, someone demanding a full-time pillow fluffer and similar problems and encounters average folks like you and I will never experience.

Like almost all of it's other programming, Bravo is also utilizing its Web presences to get people revved up about the show. The staff of the Parker will keep blogs on BravoTV.com. The site will also feature preview videos and extended scenes from previous episodes.

Film director Mike Figgis is set to direct the pilot episode of Denis Leary-produced drama Canterbury's Law. The show focuses on, what else, a lawyer. Did you guess a lawyer "who pushes the boundaries of the law?" If you did, than we've got a network programming job for you.

What may save this from being another tiresome lawyer/doctor/cop outing is the presence of the cantankerous Leary behind the scenes and Figgis behind the camera for episode one. Figgis is best known for Leaving Las Vegas with Nicolas Cage and Elisabeth Shue, but his most interesting work (or most self-indulgent, depending on your point of view) has been on experimental films like Hotel and Timecode, in which he divided the screen and the narrative into four separate, but equal parts. I'm sure he won't be busting out any formal experiments for a network pilot, but you never know. What's the point of bringing a big name film director over to TV if you're not going to let him play?

Stoney Creek, a hotel chain based in my homestate of Iowa, has removed CNN from its rooms after the cable news network aired footage of insurgents killing American troops in Iraq. James Thompson, president of Stoney Creek Hospitality Corporation, made the decision to pull the channel from the cable lineup in his hotels, saying that CNN's decision to air the footage was supporting terrorism. CNN has been removed from Stoney Creek's rooms in cities in Iowa, Illinois and Wisconsin. If we ever win the war on terrorism, I guess we'll have this hotel chain to thank.

Years ago I actually worked in the hotel business, and while living in Des Moines I even applied at the Stoney Creek Inn. At the time I was a member of the "Association of Left-handed Q-Bert Advocates and Equine Dalmatian Artistry," an organization dedicated to southpaws who loved to play Q-Bert and paint images of dalmatians riding horses. The organization had the unfortunate acronym of A.L. Q.A.E.D.A. I'm guessing it was my "Proud Member of A.L. Q.A.E.D.A." t-shirt that cost me the job. And that, my friends, is what we call working way too hard for a joke. I hope you learned something here today.

If you had plans to screw Paris Hilton, you'll have to put those on the back burner for the time being because the hotel heiress apparently plans to give up the horizontal hokey pokey for one year. I commend Paris on her decision, for I too have obstained from sex in the past, just never by choice. She claims she wants to "rediscover" herself and that one-night stands aren't really her thing. She further states, "Guys want you more if you don't just hand it to them on a platter." Well, yeah, or they just move to another part of the "restaurant" where it actually is being served to them on a platter. Perhaps this is the first step to a new Paris? Is our party girl finally going to settle down? I hope she decides in the next three minutes because that's about how much longer I'm going to care.

[via Dave Barry]

You're stuck in Indianapolis on a business trip and facing the prospect of staring at a hotel TV that has the four networks and the History Channel. Not looking promising, is it? Well, fear not road warriors, because if the hotel you're in has On Command, you'll soon be able to drift off to sleep to Beetlejuice, Jeff the Drunk, or -- best of all -- Carmen Electra riding the Sybian.

Yes, that's right, folks, Howard TV is coming to a hotel room near you!  On Command, who runs the in-room pay-per-view services for most hotel chains, and iN DEMAND, who provides on-demand programming for cable companies, have signed an agreement to offer content from Howard Stern's channel in rooms across the country. So, if you're in the right frame of mind, you'll be able to find entertainment for the night that will be funny and maybe a bit... uh... bawdy, but won't be embarrasing to see on the bill you get the next morning.

Oh, and if the last sentence of my first paragraph read "blahblahblahblahblah Carmen Electra blahblahblahblah" to you, well... there's always Modern Marvels...

The Donald's latest venture is in the travel business. He launched GoTrump.com, a website that promises low airfare and lodging rates. I checked it out and it's just a Trump-ed up version of Travelocity. Literally. It's a joint venture between Trump and Travelocity. Trump told the New York Times that his site offers special deals on his hotels and will allow normal, middle-class folks to live like the rich and famous. So far, it just looks like your run-of-the-mill travel website and Trump's hotel deals are nowhere to be found. There are also pictures of Trump planes on the site, but don't expect to ride on The Donald's airlines because that tanked in 1992.

Gee. You think we're going to see some GoTrump plugs on this season of The Apprentice? Yeah, me too.

American Idol judge (and my junior high crush) Paula Abdul is being accused by two workers at the Silverton hotel and casinoin Las Vegas of getting them fired. The story goes that Abdul called the front desk in the early morning to change her flight plans for later that morning. The two girls working the front desk began to print out flight schedules, but in the midst of it all were called again by Abdul who told them the flights were all booked. She then blamed them for causing her to miss her flight. The workers, Carol Good and Damon Rosa, were both fired. I won't pretend to know who was right or wrong in this situation, but I was impressed that Good stayed past the time her shift was supposed to end in order to help out, if only because I used to work in the hospitality industry. Typically, once my shift was over I pretty much stopped caring about the residents of the hotel. This makes me a bad person, I know. I've been trying to improve myself through meditation.